“Stop it.” I sip my vesper. “What am I supposed to do?”
“So, you agreed to a second chance?” Hannah asks, her words poised and elegant. A few men walk by and wave to her.
She could have her pick of any of these successful men and sometimes I wonder if she comes here by herself and hooks up on nights when we’re not with her. She doesn’t seem the type, but I would if I were her.
“I agreed to let him take me to your party.” I point a finger in her direction. “Which, by the way, thanks a lot for inviting him.”
“He’s our tax attorney.” She holds her hands up in the air. “You told me to keep him on. So turn that finger back around and point at yourself.”
Victoria laughs, sipping her drink, then pulls out her phone and checks it—again.
“I’m going to take that phone and drop it in your drink,” I say.
She crinkles her eyes at me. “Reed was getting Jade after school. I just want to make sure everything is all right.”
“You’re worried that Reed, Mr. Responsible, is going to forget your daughter or what…let her take up knife throwing as a hobby?” My sarcasm is thick. “That’s the least of your worries.”
She shrugs. “Hey, I’ve been a single mom for a long time, it’s hard to put trust into people where Jade is concerned.” Her voice has an edge. A mama bear edge I’m not going to poke around for fear of getting cut.
“Fair enough.”
She straightens her shoulders, leaving her phone in her lap, seemingly pleased with herself for putting me in my place.
“Don’t try to detour this conversation. You’re in the hot seat, Chelsea.” Hannah smiles, sipping her drink as her gaze slides around the room.
“I think we should talk about the fact you’re searching for the silver fox,” I say smugly.
Hannah coughs, almost spitting out her drink. Almost, but she doesn’t. I can’t help but think Hannah attended an etiquette school when she was younger and would never let such a thing happen. She’s always the epitome of poised perfection—unless we’re talking about her ex-husband’s divorce attorney.
“I just don’t want him to ruin my night.” Flush warms her cheeks and now it’s me and Victoria sharing the look.
“Don’t you dare.” She waggles her finger between the two of us. “I loathe Roarke Baldwin. He got my husband way more than that cheating asshole deserved.”
We nod because it’s hard to argue with Hannah, she’s stubborn and defiant and even if she ever sleeps with the silver fox, she’d probably deny it.
“We know.” Victoria takes on the mother role, patting Hannah’s hand with her own. “That brings us back around to you.” She whips her head in my direction and smiles.
I narrow my eyes to slits and then roll them to the back of my head.
“Come on. If you still want him, admit it,” Victoria pries.
With a sigh, I decide to lay my cards on the table. “Truth is, I do want him. I want him over me and under me and behind me until he’s out of my system. But I do not want a husband, especially the one I threw back into the proverbial sea five years ago.”
While I sip my drink, I glance over to the men in this place rather than take in the expressions on my friend’s faces. They’re probably sharing that ‘she’s lying to herself’ look, but they don’t understand. How could they when I’ve never told them everything that went down between us?
“Listen. Our marriage was hot, spontaneous, and reckless. Why do you think I love bad boys? He’s the king of them, but I never wanted to change him. I loved his ragged edges. I loved his sexual thirst that had me in more positions than I knew existed as a college freshman. I loved that every girl wanted him, but he was mine. I loved how protective he was over me. But I was naive. I was young and stupid. I actually believed that I met the man I was destined for at eighteen. The problem with bad boys, they might be protective of you and piss around you like you’re their property, but they don’t put you first. Not really.” I swallow down my emotions that are now a hard lump in my throat before I finish. “The reason this is so hard is because even though a part of me does want him, I will never let him hurt me again, which means I’ll never open up to him and we don’t really stand a chance.”
Hannah reaches over, placing her hand on mine. Victoria puts hers on top of Hannah’s.
“Honey, I hate to say this, but I think you still love him. And I think that if you let him in, you’ll fall harder. He could very well have changed. I mean, he sought you out. That’s romantic. He found a way that you’d have to interact with him because he knows you, and he knew it wouldn’t be easy. We don’t know everything you went through and even if you told us we wouldn’t truly understand. It wasn’t us who experienced it, so it’s unfair for us to tell you to put your heart on the line again for a man who hurt you so deeply.” She glances over to Victoria. “Victoria knows how hard it is to trust another man, let alone the same man who caused the damage in the first place.”
Victoria nods, her eyes telling me it will all be okay, look at how things turned out for her. Hello, am I the only one who realizes she scored the one in a million jackpot in this world?
Hannah continues, “Don’t fool yourself into thinking that hope hasn’t already sprung inside you. Just protect yourself. Have your eyes wide open.”
“Protect yourself but try to be optimistic. People do change, Chels,” Victoria adds.
Where was Miss Optimistic when Reed was trying time and time again to get her to date him? I never told her to give him a chance. Or did I? I don’t remember.
“Thanks for the therapy session girls, I’ll go home and write in my diary now.” I down the rest of my Vesper.
Their hands leave mine and they slide their backs to the booth once more.
Hannah raises her hand to the cute waiter who is probably no more than twenty-one years old.
“You know I’m surprised they don’t have women as the waitresses. I mean all the patrons are mostly men,” I say.
Victoria looks around and nods in agreement with me. “Maybe they keep him especially for us.” She smiles, looking him up and down as he approaches the table with a round of shots.
“Ladies,” he says in that flirtatious tone he’s probably trained to use.
We thank him, and he places the shots on the table and leaves. Probably something else he was trained to do. Not linger. Women usually like a challenge.
“Hannah, I think I need Tad’s help again,” I say, referring to her best friend/personal trainer who whipped us into shape when Victoria started seeing Reed.
She laughs.
“Are you sure? Remember what happened to me?” Victoria asks.
Yeah, yeah, but she’s a weakling.
“I’ll give him a call,” Hannah says. “Do you want to cleanse again or are you going to work out?”
“Probably a little of both,” I say.
“Consider it done.”
I smile. “Thanks.”
“We’re really not going to say anything about her getting in shape for Dean to see her naked?” Victoria asks. “I was open about my insecurity.”