“Good.”
His forearm flexes as he adds the milk. I close my eyes and inhale a deep breath to try to rein in my sexual appetite. Dean always did have the best forearms. A pitcher’s forearms. It seems at least that much hasn’t changed.
I put the lid on the blender and press the ‘ON’ button.
We go on making our milkshake as though he never opened his vulnerable side to me. As much as I hate myself for not letting him go there, I just couldn’t risk it. If he did, then I’d have to and I’m not ready for that. Not ready to discuss the totality of everything that tore us apart. There’s something he still doesn’t know.
More than all that, I’m not ready to fall completely back in love with him again…yet.
Chapter Seventeen
On Monday when I arrive at the office, Victoria and Hannah are both in the office before me.
I glance at the clock when I walk in.
“No, you’re not late. Hannah’s early.” Victoria smiles and I see another picture is adorning her desk now.
“Who’s in the new picture?” I ask.
She picks it up and it’s her, Reed, Jade, and Henry on the SeaDog at Navy Pier.
“Cute.”
I head down the hall, hearing two sets of heels following me.
“I have no funny dating story for you guys this morning,” I say. I have a feeling our Monday morning divorcee dating stories are about to fizzle out unless Hannah hops on the dating bandwagon.
“We know,” Hannah says.
They file in, Hannah taking a seat and Victoria standing at the door on the off chance she has to grab the phone. Our usual positions.
I stare at the tall crate on my desk. “What is this?”
“Delivery was waiting outside the door this morning.” Victoria’s face morphs into a sappy love look like she’s watching someone experience their happily ever after once more.
“And you guys don’t think I need privacy to open it?”
“Not really.” Hannah glances over her shoulder at Victoria and then back my way, shaking her head. “Come on. We’ve been making bets.”
I drop my bags on my chair and untie the ribbons around it. The wood creaks open and a plant, an alive plant lives inside.
“I’m going to kill it.” I pull it out and place it on my desk.
Victoria steps into the room and I know that mom instinct of hers wants to know exactly what it is, so she can google it.
I pluck the card out.
It was nice going down memory lane with you this weekend. Thank you for the opportunity to make new ones.
Love Dean
As much as my heart pitter patters, I don’t cling to the note and press it to my chest like some love-sick teenager. I place it neatly on my desk and lean down to sniff it.
“Jasmine,” Victoria says, and I roll my eyes.
“Seriously, Vic.”
She shrugs. “I could smell it when I brought it in.”
I can tell she’s lying.
“Poor Jade,” Hannah and I both say in unison.
“When you two have a daughter, you can judge.” She waggles her finger between the two of us. “A plant is not a diary.”
“I don’t remember the card saying your name on it,” I say in jest.
“It wasn’t hard to figure out, okay? I searched the company name and voila, there were only a few options that came in that crate.”
Hannah and I laugh at our neurotic and impatient assistant who is always one step ahead of us. I guess we know why.
“So?” I cock one eyebrow at Vic.
She smiles but says nothing.
“Tell me,” I force her to tell me what she found out.
“Jasmine is the flower of memories.” She bites her lip and I shake my head.
“Yeah, I figured it from the note, but just wanted to make sure you were on the ball.”
The phone rings and Victoria says, “You know you love that I have my PhD in Google.” She leaves the room.
After she’s gone, Hannah stays in her seat, her legs crossed, her hands clasped together with her elbows on either armrest. “Nice weekend?”
“Yeah.” I place the crate next to the trashcan, sliding the plant to the corner of my desk, placing the instructions nearby to read once I get settled.
I pull out my laptop and planner and position everything the way I like it on my desk.
“That’s it? That’s all you’re giving me?” Hannah asks. “Memories mean you talked about the past.”
“Well, we cleared up a little, yes.”
“Did you sleep with him?” No hesitation. Point blank. Again, let me be reincarnated into Hannah Crowley in my next life.
“No, but I really wanted to.” I lean back in my chair, remembering his chest pressed to mine and how it made me weak in the knees.
“Why didn’t you?”
Victoria’s heels click at rapid pace down the hall. “I can’t believe you’re leaving me out of the loop.” She heaves a breath. “It was just Jagger.”
Hannah laughs.
Victoria rolls her eyes.
“I need to meet this guy at some point,” I say, intrigued by her ex-boss in L.A.
“Trust me—” Victoria puts up her hand.
“You don’t,” Hannah finishes.
“What did I miss?” Vic asks.
Hannah slides over and Victoria sits in her chair. I guess RISE is taking a time out to hear about my date.
“She didn’t sleep with him,” Hannah says like one of those reporters on TMZ.
“Why?” Vic’s all wide eyes. “If it’s a body insecurity thing, you’re insane. Talk to me after your stomach has been stretched out to here.” She holds her hands a foot out in front of her.
Internally, I cringe but ignore her comment.
Truth is I was self-conscious for a little bit, but then I realized if he doesn’t like me with my clothes off then that’s his problem.
“No. I just…I wanted to. So badly, but we went on this walk with his dog and—”
“He has a dog?” Victoria’s eyes grow soft again. “Jade’s been begging me for one.” She looks over at Hannah.
“You should take Lucy. We’re not jiving at the moment.”
Hannah’s dog Lucy is a German Shepherd puppy who’s yet to figure out house breaking or the fact that a La Perla bra is not a play thing. I’d give my right tit for a La Perla bra. Then again, I wouldn’t have a tit to fit into it if I did that. Okay, focus, Chels.
“You will. She’s a puppy. Give her some time,” Victoria says.
“My bank account is about to cut her off.”
We laugh because none of us is quite sure why Hannah got a dog, let alone a big guard dog.
“Back to you not having sex.” Hannah’s back straightens and they both sit at attention like two teacher’s pets.
“I wanted to see what it was like to be around him without the sexual aspect of our relationship. We were either fucking like bunnies or not speaking at all when we were married. I was enjoying this in between we’ve found, and you know how sex can screw everything up.”
Hannah nods.
“It didn’t with Reed and I,” Victoria says.