As expected, LD remained unmoving and emotionless. Sax was more polite.
"No thanks, sweetheart. We'll grab a bite on the road." He brought his cup to his mouth and sipped.
I felt bad for Sax. I'd only known him briefly before Holly had left, but the girls had told me that he'd changed, had begun to drink more since she'd gone. Knowing what I knew about Holly, it was hard to meet his eyes, but I reminded myself that Holly was my friend and I'd made her a promise that I intended to keep.
My gaze shifted to LD, and my smile grew. Why, I wasn’t sure, since he looked scary as hell, but perhaps some part of me thought that I could win him over with friendship. Kill him with kindness. His mouth tightened, and I fought the sudden urge to reach up and smooth my thumb over it until it relaxed. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, watching the darkness in his eyes settle there.
An unexpected spike of electricity ran through me as if he'd touched me physically. I caught my breath at the intensity of the feeling gripping me. It wasn't any one feeling, but a mixture of arousal, fear, and confusion. If just a look from LD caused me to feel this way, what would his touch do to me?
I'd probably never find out.
"What about you, LD?" It was as if I purposely set out to irritate him. "Is there anything you want?"
He ignored me, instead taking a long drink of coffee. But his eyes remained on me the entire time, like twin daggers intent on doing the most damage. I don't know how I kept the smile on my face. I shrugged, "Your loss." I turned to the fridge before he could see the smirk my words had put on my mouth.
As I was reaching for a yogurt on the bottom rack in the back I heard Raven and Cole coming down the hallway and took a breath of relief. By the time I straightened from the fridge and closed the door they had entered the kitchen. I swung around and bravely met LD's cold eyes.
"Oh, good, you're ready," Raven quipped when she saw me. "The boys are going to give us a ride over to Bobbie's.
What?! On their bikes? I tried to school my expression not to reveal the sudden panic I felt. Raven would be on the back of Cole's bike, but who was I riding with? Sax and LD were both without old ladies, but everyone in the club knew that Sax still considered himself to be with Holly. Would he want another woman on the back of his bike?
I knew that the men of the Desert Rebels were faithful to their old ladies, so I doubted it.
That left me with LD.
I swallowed hard as equal measures of dread and anticipation ran through me.
Chapter 3
LD
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I knew why Cole wanted to give Raven a ride to Demon's. He never turned down a chance to have his old lady up snug against his back. Christ, I couldn't blame him for that, but that meant that Jolene would be riding with me, because I knew sure as shit that Sax wasn't going to put another woman on the back of his bike. Not until he got over Holly and accepted the fact that she might never come back. The woman had fucking messed with my brother's head. She'd been gone for months now, but he still held out hope that she'd come to the realization that they were meant to be together.
They'd had problems in the past, mainly of the baby-making-kind. Holly wanted kids. Sax didn't. But it had been her rape that had been the final catalyst that had come between them. Holly hadn't been able to deal with it, and after three months of trying to, she'd walked away. Sure, she'd left Sax a note, but that was some hard shit for a brother to handle, the woman that you loved saying it was over and that she needed to find herself again.
Didn't make sense to me, but who was I to question it? And if Jolene or any of the old ladies knew anything about where Holly was, they weren't talking. My bet was that Jolene knew something. She and Holly had gotten tight during the three months that they'd worked in close proximity. But it was none of my concern. If it was meant to be, Holly would figure her shit out.
I only wanted to see my brother whole again.
Just like my brothers wanted to see me whole again, but that wasn't going to happen. Couldn't bring back my wife and son. Couldn't make me unsee their fucking deaths. Couldn't make me feel any less of a failure for not protecting them. I would live with that shit for the rest of my fucking life. It was what I deserved. The pain never went away. The yearning to see my sweet Caroline and Johnny again. He'd be a grown man by now.
Fuck. Sixteen years was a long, damned time.
The conversation happening around me eventually drew me back to the present. Raven was gathering up our coffee cups and placing them into the dishwasher. Jolene added her spoon before she tossed the empty yogurt container into the trash. I watched her graceful movements for a minute, watched the way her tits strained the limits of the tee she was wearing, the way her shorts barely covered that sweet ass. The women were spending the day at Demon's pool, so I bet that she was wearing that smoking hot red bikini beneath her clothes.
"We gotta head out, brothers." Cole draped his arm across the back of his old lady. They headed toward the door.
No one said anything until we reached our bikes.
"Um, who do I ride with?"
I could hear the worry in her southern drawl, the sexy twang going straight to my dick. Cole had mounted his hog and was assisting Raven when he glanced over at us. Sax lowered his eyes to the ground as he climbed on his bike, a clear sign that he didn't want another woman on his bike but that he didn't want to seem like a wuss by saying it. I inhaled a ragged breath and glared at Cole.
"She can ride with me." I climbed on and started my bike, hardly acknowledging Jolene as she walked to me. I wondered if she'd ever ridden before, finally meeting her eyes.
"Ever ridden?" I growled, clenching my back teeth. She shook her head. Great. Just fucking great. I glared at Cole again, my look telling him that this wasn't his brightest move. He shrugged, a knowing smirk on his face. Later I'd knock that off. "Climb on. Hold on. Lean into the curves with me."
"That's it?" Jolene asked innocently sliding her hot cunt up against my backside. Next came her arms as they slid around my torso, her hands linking just above my belt buckle.
Jesus H. Christ, the feel of her full tits against my back was going to be my undoing. It'd be a miracle if I didn't wreck my bike before we reached Demon's.
I didn't answer Jolene’s question. I'd already told her the basics. If she couldn't follow the instructions it was on her. She wasn't going to like riding with me because I rode fast. Hell, we all did, but not usually when we had a woman behind us, and that was something I never had.
I ignored both brothers as I jerked forward and took off down the road. Jolene jerked backwards sharply with a shriek but quickly tightened her arms around me. The next thing I felt was her head against my shoulder. I turned mine to the side, realizing immediately that I'd made a mistake. Her light floral scent hit me right in the nose, and like a fucking fool looking for his next fix, I inhaled it deeply into my lungs.
I could feel her legs against the back of mine, and I resisted the urge to reach back and clasp her naked thigh. The thought of that silky flesh beneath my hand caused my dick to throb. If her hands slipped down just a little further Jolene would know without a doubt that I was fucking turned on, and that she was the reason. I had to remind myself that she wasn't mine, and never would be. Touching--or anything else--was off limits.