I gave a little laugh and cry at the same time. Hardly consistent. Even lying there injured, Sean was still Sean.
As two men and a woman pushed through the crowd with a stretcher, Sean’s eyes fell closed.
“Sean?” I said, panicking, but he didn’t answer. When Tray pulled me away so the paramedics could get to him, I was sobbing so hard, I could barely stand.
Chapter Twenty-One
Sean
I love you. I love you. I love you. The words faded in and out of my dreams.
I was on an ambulance. I could hear the siren. When I opened my eyes, I saw a young woman. A paramedic.
“We have you stabilized,” she said with a confident smile. “Don’t try to move, okay?”
“Where’s Bubba?”
“I’m sure your friends and family will be waiting for you at the hospital. Just lie still.”
There was no way she could possibly know that. Why do people make assertions without facts? But before I could tell her so, I went under again.
I love you.
The next time I woke up, I was in the hospital, in an area surrounded by curtains. It was probably the ER. A doctor in a blue paper hat and mask checked my pupils and made me tell him my name and the date.
“So, what were you doing when you got hurt?” he asked, fingers on my wrist.
“I was playing flag football. In the semifinals,” I said, feeling proud of myself.
“Oh? How’d you manage to get tackled playing flag?” The doctor’s eyes crinkled in a smile. He was young, so maybe he’d played flag himself.
“Being in the way is my special talent, I guess.”
“Can you wiggle your fingers?”
I wiggled my fingers, then my toes, and everything else he asked me to. My neck was in a brace and it ached. I remembered landing on it badly. Oh God. Icy fear slicked through me. “Is my neck broken?”
“We’ll find out with an X-ray, but so far, you can control all your bits, and your vitals are stable, so that’s a great sign.” He gave me another encouraging smile, his tone all upbeat. But he hadn’t said no.
You have to be okay so I can fight for you.
“Where’s Bubba?” I asked. If he wanted to fight for me, he could start right damned now. I was scared, and I wanted him there. No, I needed him.
The doctor had been touching my legs—which I felt per usual, thank you, most precious nerve endings. He looked up at me, eyebrows raised. “Is Bubba a friend? You came in by ambulance, and they wouldn’t have let anyone but family on board. Maybe he’s in the waiting area.”
“He’s my boyfriend,” I said stubbornly. My teeth chattered. I started shaking all over.
“Nurse—get a heated blanket,” the doctor barked.
Shock, I thought. A normal reaction, nothing to freak out about. A blanket was laid over me, heavy and warm. I still shook, tremors jumping through me like a dead frog hit with a live wire in biology class.
“I’m going to give you a little something to relax you. It’s important we keep your neck immobile. Okay?” the doctor told me, sounding anxious.
Ah, yes. Tremors were probably not good for my neck. But I couldn’t stop. Inside the brace, my neck quaked along with everything else—and it fucking hurt. The pain radiated down into my shoulders and up into my head. “Ow. Ow!” My teeth chattered.
The nurse put something into the IV, which I hadn’t even realized was in my arm.
I was vaguely aware of being wheeled down a hall and nurses moving around me, but everything was soft and dark.
I woke up in a regular hospital room. My neck ached. I reached up and felt something hard and unyielding—I was still in a neck brace. I stared up at the ceiling and took a deep breath.
“Sean?” My mom leaned over my face. She smiled. “Hi, honey. How are you feeling?”
“It hurts. Where’s Bubba?” My mouth was so dry.
Her smile faded. She blinked. “It’s good news, Sean. The doctors say you have whiplash and just a tiny hairline fracture in one of your neck vertebrae, but so far, no swelling or damage to your spinal cord. They’re going to keep you overnight, just to make sure you’re out of danger, but it looks like you’ll make a full recovery. Oh, Sean, I don’t know why you ever wanted to play that ridiculous game!”
Because I was tired of being me. I didn’t say it. She wouldn’t understand.
“Is Bubba here? At the hospital?” I asked. Had he already left on the team bus back to Madison? I got a lump in my throat. God, I hoped he hadn’t left.
My dad’s visage joined my mother, looming over me on the other side of the bed. “He’s in the waiting room. But you should rest, Sean.”
“Ask him to come in,” I said.
My mom and dad shared a look. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to rest a bit more?” my mom asked.
I clenched my jaw, which sent a jolt of pain through my neck. “Damn it, Mom, I want Bubba! Ask him to come in. Please!” I fairly shouted.
I was mad. Just because I couldn’t move my neck didn’t give them the right to force me to do what they wanted. Or, in this case, not give me what I wanted. I realized I wasn’t just mad about this moment, but about a lot of things. But right now, all I wanted was to see him.
“Sean, calm down,” my dad said worriedly. “I’ll go get him. Just relax.”
He left the room. Even though I couldn’t move my head, I discovered that by looking down, I could see part of the door to the room. I watched it, ignoring my mother. After what felt like far too long, the door opened, and I saw a flash of jeans and a black parka. I wanted to cry with relief. Bubba.
And then he was there, leaning over me on the left side of the bed. He took my hand and held it tight as he gazed down at me. His eyes were puffy and his face pale.
“Jeez, Sean, I was so scared. Your dad says you’re going to be okay. How do you feel?” His voice broke, and his brown eyes swam with tears. I had the sense they weren’t the first.
“I have whiplash, presumably. Which really hurts like hell, by the way. But I’m going to be fine. So please don’t cry.”
He sniffled and looked down, seemingly realizing he was holding my hand. “C-can you feel this?” He squeezed.
I squeezed him back as hard as I could. “I feel you. And I raise you two pounds of pressure per square inch.”
He laughed. “I see you’re still hilarious. And, yeah, you’re pretty good at raising all kinds of things.” His eyes were warm and danced with mischief.
My mom cleared her throat, and Bubba looked at her. “Bubba, it’s nice to see you again,” she said stiffly.
Bubba opened his mouth as if to reply, maybe with something polite like you too. But he was such an honest person, he probably couldn’t bring himself to lie that much. “Hi, Mrs. McKinney.”
That reminded me of why I’d been so angry a minute ago.
I tugged on Bubba’s hand to get his gaze focused back on me. “Did you mean what you said on the field? About…about the sentiment you feel toward me and about fighting for me?”
He nodded solemnly. “I meant it. I love you, Sean. I may not be a genius or already have a fancy degree, but I’m strong, and I work hard, and most of all, I appreciate you. I think you’re the greatest. And I’ll never ignore you or cheat on you.” He flashed a grin. “Or, I hope, bore you. And that’s not nothing.”