Again, he watched me, waiting.
I blinked slowly, suddenly tired. “Are you sure you want to do that? I mean, the club would take care of her for me.”
“Nyet. It will be me.” He glanced away and then back. “Do you wish to save her?”
“No,” I blurted. I closed my eyes and then opened them with more tears welling. In a hushed tone, I asked, “Does… does it make me a bad person? Does it make me evil for wanting someone to die?” I bit my trembling bottom lip. Dread had my head spinning.
He leaned forward, taking my hand in both of his. “Nyet, moya lyubov’. Never. Not after what you have been through.”
Still, guilt had me closing my eyes and shaking my head. I shouldn’t want someone to die. But I did, and I couldn’t find it in me to feel any remorse knowing my mother would die.
No, that wasn’t right. She stopped being my mother when she took the blade to my skin. Instead, they became… became—
“They were vile monsters, moya lyubov’,” Adrik said, as if reading my mind.
Opening my eyes, I uttered, “They were. But does it make me one when I want her dead?”
“Nyet, West. You had done nothing to them. You had been their son. They were supposed to care for you. They did not. They tortured you. They said it was for God, but it was lies. I will not let her get away with treating you as they did.”
I raked my top teeth over my bottom lip as my heart thundered in my ears, and thoughts ran through my mind. “Can you do me a favor?”
“Anything.” He sounded so adamant it made my chest hurt from the way my heart fluttered to life.
“Don’t tell me what happens.… I don’t want to know anything more about her. I-I’m just glad to know she suffered already.”
He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it, causing my heart to react again. Only that time, my stomach fluttered right along with it.
“I will do this.” He ran his thumb over my skin on my hand. I couldn’t help but watch the movement.
Why was he there? Why would he do this for me? Why would he kill for me?
Those were questions I wasn’t ready to hear the answers for.
Instead, I asked, “How did you find out my name?”
He winced. “I have something else to confess.”
Oh.
“What?” I asked softly.
He took a breath and released my hand. I missed the contact instantly, which wasn’t good, as in the end, I’d have to push him away.
He leaned back once more and glanced to the door. “I had a man watching you.”
My stomach dropped. “Why?”
He met my gaze. “That is for another time. But know it was in your best interest.”
“Adrik, you can tell me now.”
“Nyet, your food and drink will be here soon, and you are not ready.”
Not ready?
I didn’t understand.
“I will be staying in this house,” he announced instead, which threw me from any other thoughts.
“Why?”
He smirked. “Because.”
“Because? That’s all you’re going to say?”
“For now.” He stood, bending, and I closed my eyes when I felt his lips press into my temple. “Rest, moya lyubov’.”
“What does that mean?”
He pulled back a little. “Moya lyubov’?”
“Yes.”
His hand slid over my hair. “One day, I will tell you. But you need rest to heal. If you need me, I will not be far.” He straightened and started for the door.
“Adrik?” I called.
“Da?”
“Thank you… for saving me.”
“I will always save you, West. From anything.”
I felt he meant more by that, but I couldn’t work out what. He opened the door, and I heard Lucas’s squeak. “Hello… um, you’re leaving?”
“Is there a room I can take as my own?”
“Yes, of course. One right next door to here.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Lucas moved into the room, and I listened to the door close once more as Lucas stopped at my side. He set a tray on the bedside table. “I brought soup and a straw, so you won’t have to move much to drink it.” He sat on the chair. “How did that go?”
“Confusingly.”
Lucas smiled. He picked up a bowl and stuck a straw in it, bringing it to my lips. “It’s not too hot.”
I took a gulp before I pulled back. “I… I think he likes me,” I confessed. Everything he’d done and was still doing pointed in that direction.
Lucas threw his head back and laughed. Once he stopped, he ignored my glare and said, “Whatever gave that away?”
“Lucas,” I whispered urgently. “I can’t have him liking me.”
Lucas’s smile saddened. “From what I can tell, it’s too late for that.”
It wasn’t too late. I had to make sure of it. Adrik needed someone who wasn’t damaged, and I would push him to find that person, because it wasn’t me.
Chapter Thirteen
Adrik
He needs someone better. I’m not for him. I’m weak, dirty.
Those words seared my mind as I lay in bed. Neither West or Lucas knew I had been standing in the doorway and that I’d heard. My chest ached at those words. I wanted to drag West into my arms and tell him he was all I needed. Despite knowing he wasn’t ready to hear it.
Instead, I would stay and worm my way into West’s life in other ways. I would have him see me as the man who would be there for him, and eventually, he would not be able to deny what we could build on between us.
Rolling, I stared at the wall that separated us. The house was quiet since most of the men had left. I’d even sent Dimitri home to sleep, after I promised I wouldn’t leave the house. I thought sleep would pull me under quickly, but it had not. My worry for the man in the next bedroom was too pronounced.
How could West think I needed someone better when all I saw was him? Eventually, he would understand he was not weak or dirty. He was perfect, even with his new scars.
I had an urge to go to him, but he needed space.
Tomorrow, I would finish this for him. I would end the woman’s life and take pleasure in delivering her pain as she had. I had no doubt she’d been the one who had inflicted the agony on West. He was in and out of sleep on the drive to the house, and his mumbled words had begged his mother to stop.
Sitting up, I rubbed at my chest as the fury lit inside me. Waiting was not a strength I had. I had a need to wrap my hands around her neck and wait as the life bled out of her.
There were only a few lives I had taken, and all meant something. All had been to save another.
With a sigh, I flicked back the blankets and put my feet to the floor. I wished I could sleep. However, my mind refused to shut down enough for me to do so. Instead, I stood and pulled on my pants. I zipped the fly but did not bother with the button. After walking to the door, I opened it and stepped out, closing it behind me. I could not lie in that bed any longer. I had to do something, and I was sure Lucas had said there was a gym in his large house somewhere.