“Get out!”
Even though he was not looking at me, I shook my head. “Nyet, moya lyubov’.” I pulled my T-shirt over my head and threw it to the floor.
“Get out,” he cried. A whimper followed. Even under the waterproof gauze, his back’s skin was raw from the heat of the hot water splashing down over him. “Please, please leave me. I-I’m dirty.”
My chest cracked open as I shoved my jeans down my legs and opened the shower door. I stepped in, only wearing boxers.
A sob sounded behind me. Lucas.
“Moya lyubov’, I will not leave you,” I told him softly.
“You have to. I’m broken.”
“Nyet.” I leaned over him, sticking my arm in the scorching water, wincing. I quickly added cold to it, adjusting it to where it should be before I crouched at his side. “You may feel broken, moya lyubov’, but you will heal.”
He shook his head. I sat on the floor at his side, my legs around him.
“I’m no good. I-I don’t want you to see me.”
“Why?”
He choked on his cry, rocking back and forth on his knees. I rested a hand to his lower back, and he stilled.
“I’m n-no good. I’m tainted, tarnished, scarred. I-I wished they’d sent me to God.”
Christ.
I cupped the opposite side of his neck and gently tugged him my way. He did not expect the move, so he fell my way. When his side pushed into my chest, I held him close. “Please, moya lyubov’, do not say that. Do not wish your life away because of what they did to you. You are cared for. You have a family, friends, a life worth living. Let us in. Let us show you what you would miss. Let us help you through this.”
He gripped my forearm, and I felt him shake his head. “I can’t.”
“Why?”
A whimper escaped him. He shook his head again, and I knew he cried even when I could not feel his tears.
“I-I don’t deserve it.”
“That is not true, moya lyubov’. I wish you could see you the way I do. No one has ever captured my attention in moments like you have. You are kind, funny, sweet. There is nothing but light within you, West. You deserve nothing but the best for the rest of your life, and I know that if you give us all a chance, we will make sure you have it.” I ran my hand over his hair. “You will have scars, you will remember what they did, but you will get through it and know you are strong. You lived through hell and came out the other side. You will wear your scars with pride. They are a part of you, and there is nothing about you that is bad, tarnished, or tainted.”
“Adrik,” he whispered.
I kissed the top of his head. “I worry this is not the time and that it may be selfish of me, but I need you to know why I had a man watching you. You see, moya lyubov’, I could not let you go. Even when you walked away, I could not stop thinking of you. I had to see how you were. Before you, it felt like I was a robot going through each day as they came. I did not see the world until you walked into my home. I regret I left it so long.”
His hand tightened on my arm. “Don’t blame yourself.”
“I will try, as I hope you do the same for you.”
He nodded against me and cleared his throat. “I-I want to talk to someone.”
I closed my eyes, and my skin broke out in goose bumps. Hope blasted into me. “We will find the perfect person.”
“Okay.”
Everything would take time. I wanted to tell him more, but I had already said enough for now.
“Let me help you from the shower?”
“Can I… I need to wash.”
“Drop to your ass. I will assist. As long as you are okay with this.”
He lifted up. The pain etched onto his face hurt my heart. He nodded. “Please.”
Slowly, we eased him to a sitting position, and I stood, picking up a washcloth. I held it behind me. “If you want to cover yourself,” I offered. The washcloth was taken, and I grabbed the shampoo. Moving to his side, I adjusted the spray from his body. “Drop your head forward a little. I wash it so none of it reaches your back and makes it sting.” Though, it looked raw still from the water before.
“Thank you,” West whispered, dropping his chin down to his chest.
“Anything, moya lyubov’.”
“What does it mean?”
“Anything but that,” I teased, and was rewarded with a snort. I squirted some shampoo onto my hand and placed the bottle onto the floor. I lathered it up between my hands and knelt beside him. Gently, I rubbed it through his hair, and West let out a contented sigh. Finally, he relaxed his tense form.
Something I said had gotten through. Happiness did not describe my feelings. He was letting me help. Letting me be here for him.
After rinsing the conditioner from his hair, I could not resist leaning forward and pressing my lips to the back of his neck.
“What was that for?” he asked softly.
“Because I had to.”
“You had to?”
“Da.”
He shook his head. “How can you look at me? Look at my back? Be close to it?”
I threaded my fingers through the back of his hair and gently tugged it to the side to have his eyes. I knew mine were hard from not liking his words. “I can look, I can see, because I do not lie when I say your wounds show me how strong you are. Your wounds are a part of you, and I like you, West.”
“You shouldn’t.”
“You may think that, but it does not change how I feel.” Leaning in, I kept his gaze and touched my lips to his jaw. His breath shook as he released it. “It is time to get out now.”
“Okay,” he uttered.
Slowly, I helped West stand. He kept the cloth in front of him, but it dropped when he stood.
A deep blush hit his cheeks when his hands landed on my chest, and he gazed up at me.
I smirked. “I won’t look… much.”
“Adrik,” he clipped.
A laugh escaped me. “If you lean against the shower wall with your hands, I will retrieve the towel and boxers.” He did, and I quickly slipped out of the shower and used a spare towel to dry off swiftly. I took the other back into the shower. I swallowed thickly as I allowed my gaze to run below his back. His ass was round and perfect.
“Do you wax?” I asked, resting the towel over his shoulders.
“Adrik!” he snapped.
Chuckling, I patted what I could dry without being inappropriate and then handed him the towel to finish the rest. Once done, I crouched and held out the boxers for him to step into. By the time we made it back to his bedroom, where there were clean sheets applied to the bed, West was breathing heavier.
“Do you need pain medication?” I asked, helping him to sit on the side of his bed.
I worried when he did not reply for a few moments. Finally, he shook his head and looked up at me. “Maybe soon, but… could you help me out to the living room to sit at the table for a while?”
Hope resurfaced inside me. “Of course.”
Chapter Sixteen
West
You are the biggest liar,” Kylo complained with a groan. He threw his cards to the table while Saint grinned evilly.