“I see.” His eyebrows pulled tighter until the V was narrower and even more solemn.
Shit. He was realizing the gravity of the situation, and didn’t want to risk his life. Well…should’ve expected that. Why would he, after what had happened in the morning? Maybe I should’ve pretended to swoon at his feet, my arm wrapped around his thigh, imitating one of those clinch poses from an old-school historical romance.
“If you don’t want to go, can I borrow your phone to call 911? Maybe the cops could come and shoot it.”
The muscles in Killian’s jaw flexed. He was probably insulted again, guessing—correctly—that I’d figured out that he was too scared to risk his masculine neck. “That won’t be necessary. I’ll take care of the snake for you.”
My whole body went slack with shock and gratitude. “You will?”
“Of course. If I don’t do it, who will?” He shrugged, like rescuing women from man-eating snakes was something he did every day.
“You aren’t going to sue if you get hurt, right?” I asked just to make sure. It would be an expensive lawsuit. “You called your insurance agent to expand your policy to cover your whole body?”
He looked at me like I was some kind of alien. “I have enough insurance to cover my bases. Come on.” He gestured at me to follow as he started moving toward my house.
“Me?” I squeaked.
“Yeah. Somebody’s gotta show me where the vicious snake was last seen.”
Chapter Eighteen
Killian
Emily stayed close behind me as I made way over to her place, which was good. I didn’t know how much longer I could maintain a straight face. It’d taken all my willpower to not burst out laughing back in my house.
Kingstree had a few varieties of harmless, non-venomous snakes. They usually only ate bugs, or maybe frogs or field mice—sometimes baby birds if they were quick enough. But from Emily’s reaction, I wouldn’t be surprised to find a thirty-foot, man-eating anaconda in her home.
Call the cops so they could come and shoot it dead. Ha ha ha. I could just picture Sheriff Claymoore’s face. His thick gray mustache would quiver in sync with his bushy eyebrows. Then he’d laugh that wheezing laugh of his until he doubled over. They might end up having to defibrillate him.
I bit my lip hard. I’d been feeling pretty irritated and upset about how the breakfast ended. I hadn’t believed my ears when I heard Emily bang on my door and scream my name.
She undoubtedly hadn’t changed her mind about the ten minutes. But at least she thought I was good for disposing of scary wildlife. I’d settle for that…for now.
The door to her house had been left completely open. Good thing we lived in a town as safe as Kingstree.
I stepped inside. Emily stuck to my back close enough that I could feel her body heat through our shirts, and it felt damn good. My body perked up, ready for a continuation of our kiss earlier, because it didn’t know nothing was going to happen until I took care of the scary snake.
“So. Where’d you see it?” I asked, my voice slightly huskier than normal.
“Over there.” She gestured without sticking her head out from my back.
“There…where?” I asked again, all innocent.
“In the dining room. I was walking toward the kitchen, and it just leaped out of the blue to attack me.”
“Leaped, huh? Must’ve been traumatizing.” For that poor little garter snake. I’d have to gently pick it up and let it out. It deserved no less after the ordeal it’d been through.
“It was. I thought I was having a heart attack.”
I pressed a knuckle to my lips because Emily would murder me if I laughed. I managed to produce a sympathetic growl, then walked further into the house.
She followed me as though that would keep her safe. Which was an encouraging sign. At least she felt secure around me. A big step in the right direction.
Although her reaction to the snake was overblown, I understood. Most women couldn’t stand snakes. When Mir had first seen one, she sprained an ankle in her rush to get away. At least Emily hadn’t hurt herself.
And there was part of me that was pleased she was sticking so close. It was as though she understood I could keep her safe from the super-evil viper of doom that had been threatening her. I bit back a smile of satisfaction. God had obviously created snakes to make men look good.
Then I spotted it—a green and mustard-yellow reptile. It wasn’t even two feet long. Barely big enough to overpower a fat mouse. It was on the floor underneath the dining table. Probably cowering in fear, since it had no real defense mechanism against predators. Or somebody as big as Emily or me.
Mischief sparked in my mind. I made a slow half-circle. Emily did the same, her hands on my sides. They felt soft and warm, and her fingers kept moving like they couldn’t decide on how to touch me. Or maybe she was copping a feel, which I was totally okay with. Hmm. I wondered if she’d feel me up like this when we rolled around in bed, naked.
But first…
I turned my head to look at her over my shoulder. “So, what color was the snake?”
“Green and brown, I think?” She wrinkled her nose. “It was mottled.”
I flicked my gaze beyond her head. “Oh shit! Is that it?”
Before I could point, she jumped on me, screaming like a spooked banshee. She wrapped her arms around my neck, cutting off my air, and clamped her legs around my waist. I gripped her forearms and pulled them down so I could breathe, then tried to enjoy the feel of having her wrapped around me for a moment. But it was hard to appreciate how feminine she felt when she was shrieking. “Shh! Stop screaming. It’s going to come at us if you do that! They don’t like it when you’re loud. Noise pollution, remember?”
The high-pitched yelling cut off abruptly. Her body was so tense that it was almost shaking.
“Snakes don’t like it.” Do not laugh, I thought. That would ruin everything.
“Really?” she whispered.
I nodded, doing my best to set my face into my most serious expression. Just in case there was a mirror in the room somewhere I didn’t know about. “Yeah.”
Her voice grew quieter. “Aren’t you talking too loud? You should whisper.”
“I’m a guy. Vocal register is too low to bother snakes.” Totally making shit up, but it sounded scientific enough. And how was she going to know? She had no access to Google. She had to rely on Killianpedia.
“Damn sexist snakes.” Emily shifted, still clinging to me. I could feel all of her—the lean, strong muscles of her legs, the softness of her breasts crushed against my back. She seemed solid and real, and I appreciated that after being surrounded by women who were mostly stick figures with some silicone chest stuffing. The spots where Emily’s tits were pressed seemed to tingle, making my blood rush to my dick. Jesus. Was the back an erogenous zone for men?
I could feel her swiveling her head as she looked around. “Can you do something about the snake if you find it?” She was so close that her lips brushed my neck as she whispered, her breath ticklish.
I almost didn’t want to move, just so she would continue to say stuff. I didn’t care what came out of her mouth as long as she stayed in this position.