“What's going on with you?” I ask, pinning my eyes on hers.
Her lips fold down as she hugs her cup in her hands and arches her brows. “Nothing. There's nothing wrong. I'm fine.”
“It's something.” Scooting my chair closer, I clasp my hand around her thigh and give it a gentle squeeze. “What is it?”
“It's nothing. I said I'm fine.” Shaking her head, she looks at me, but she's still not here. Her mind is someplace else, and I want to know what she's thinking.
“Fine, if you won't tell me on your own, I have ways to get it out of you.” I dig my fingers into her leg. I squeeze harder just above her knee.
Sia giggles, jerking her leg free. “Hey, that's not fair. Tickling is torture, it's an unfair tactic.”
“Well, I'm not afraid to hit low to get what I want. So, you can tell me yourself or I'll work it out of you.” Moving my hand up, I poke at her belly, drawing out another laugh.
“Stop,” she says between chuckles.
“Nope, better speak up.” I lean closer and kiss her in the crook of her neck and nibble gently, making her shoulders scrunch up and her laughter grow.
“All right, all right, I'll tell you.” Pushing me away, she rubs the tingle off her skin with a smirk on her face.
“Good, so let's hear it. Why do you seem off today?” I lean back in my chair and watch her inhale a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Her eyes drift around my face, worry and fear coating her expression like a mask. Her lip starts to tremble, and her hands are shaking. Sitting up straight, she strips her eyes away and looks down.
“I just don't know how to say it.”
“Just say it.” Now I'm starting to worry. My heart begins to hammer inside my chest and my stomach clenches tight.
“I'm late.”
“Late?” I ask. “I don't understand what you mean.”
“Late,” she says again, her tone low and drawn out as her eyes reconnect with mine. “As in my monthly friend hasn't shown up yet.” Pursing her lips, she wraps her arms around her head and groans. “I mean, you're the only one I've slept with, and we haven't exactly been careful.” Her leg starts to bounce up and down rapidly and her eyes get big as saucers. “I just don't know what to think. I've never been late before, and I'm trying not to freak out, but I don't know what to do.”
Pregnant? A baby?
I'm struck with so many emotions at once. Fear, excitement, worry, happiness, all of them taking shape like a giant whirling tornado in my gut. They're wreaking havoc inside, pulling me in different directions.
But I can't be weak, I can't worry about myself right now. I'm not the one with sky high expectations and a family who chooses outward looks over inner happiness. She has enough on her plate, the last thing she needs to worry about is if I'll stay or run.
I rub her side gently, doing my best to comfort her. “Hey, don't worry. We'll figure this out, all right? Everything will be fine, no matter what happens. I promise. I'm not going anywhere.” I take her hand in mine and strum my fingers across her knuckles. “Everything is going to work out, no matter what.”
Her head rolls on her shoulders to look at me, her lips thinning into a deep frown. She doesn't believe me, and why should she?
From what I've seen with her family dynamic, a pregnancy will ruin Sia. They'll ruin Sia. I just know it. If they can't even handle the thought of having a guy like me around their daughter, how the hell will they handle her being pregnant?
The thought of them casting her away, dragging her through the mud, and snuffing out her light in this world breathes fire in my gut.
I want to protect her. I want to keep her safe and away from harm. I'll do anything to make sure she's happy and doesn’t spend the rest of her life as a stain on their family crest.
“What am I going to do, Mark?” she asks, her voice cracking between words.
“Hey,” I say as tears start to bubble up over her eyes. “Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Maybe you should take a test first to see. What do you think? We can go get one right now and find out for sure before you start planning your own funeral.” Winking, I give her a soft smile.
Nodding, she wipes her eyes with the napkin, catching the dripping black mascara. “Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's do it. There's a drugstore right around the corner.”
“All right, let's go.” I stand from the table and toss some money on the table. Holding out my hand, she takes it, tangling her fingers with mine. I hold her tight, letting her know I'm here for her. She needs someone on her side. I'm that someone.
We stand shoulder to shoulder in the aisle, both staring at the shelf of pregnancy tests.
“So, which one do you think?” I ask.
“I have no clue.” Sia picks up a box and flips it around. “This one says it takes three minutes, and it has a little screen that says pregnant or not pregnant.”
“Looks good to me.”
Giggling, she looks up. “You want to take one too? This way we can make sure it works.”
Scrunching my face, I start to laugh. “What if mine comes back pregnant?” We both laugh hard, and I can see her loosen up. I grab her face to pull her in for a kiss. “Just so you know, no matter what happens, I'm here.”
Her eyes dart back and forth between mine as she leans her head into my palm. “Really?”
“Really.” I mean what I say. I mean it with every ounce of my being. “You'll never be alone, not ever.”
Sia smiles and it's the prettiest smile I've seen on her all day. “Thank you.”
“You ready to do this?”
“Yeah, let's get it over with.” She walks to the counter with the box in her hand as if it’s a live grenade, and I follow her.
“Where am I going to take this? I can't do it at home,” she says, after she pays.
“What about just doing it here? There's a bathroom in the back.”
“No, I don't want to stay in here.” She nibbles her bottom lip, thinking. “There's a bookstore about a block away. We could do it there.”
“Sounds good.”
Our hands instantly fall together as we walk the block to the bookstore. I love the way her hand feels in mine. We fit together perfectly. Her slender fingers wrap mine; my big palm covers hers, our fingers curling into place easily.
I want this all the time, and knowing that I'm going home soon only makes my chest ache. I don't want to be without this. Without the warmth of her hand. Without being able to kiss her and touch her and just have her any time I want.
Stop thinking about it.
You're here with her now, that's all that matters.
I follow Sia through the bookstore to the back where the bathrooms are.
“You want me to come in?” I ask.
Smirking, she says, “No, I don't want someone thinking we're doing something naughty in there.” Grabbing the door, she pulls it open. “Just wait here in case I pass out or something.”
The door closes behind her and the lock clicks in place. I lean against the wall to wait and I can feel my nerves start to come alive.