The look on his face probably should have made her quake. “You what?”
“He was demanding the late rent, plus next month’s rent, plus a personal payoff that he called a late fee but is actually extortion, so I gave him what he wanted. I’m paid up, so you don’t have to talk to anyone about anything, okay? I just got on a cleaning jag, and now I can’t seem to stop.”
He shook his head, like he was trying to clear it. “You what?”
“I know it’s weird, but when I thought I was being evicted, I started packing up and realized I’ve kinda collected a lot of junk, so—”
“No, I’m not talking about the cleaning.” Before she knew what he was going to do, he caught her up by the upper arms. “You sold your car?”
“It was either that or live in it. Chicago’s got a great train and bus system, and I’ve already figured out my route to the House. It’s not a big deal.” And she’d already done all the crying over her car that she was prepared to do, so she was done talking about it. “Now, did you come all this way to talk about my car? Because if you did, that could have been done over the phone.”
“I’m capable of multitasking. Talking about your car, talking about you, and giving you a welcome-to-your-new-job survival kit.” He unzipped his jacket and pulled out a crumpled brown paper bag. “Just a couple small things to help you get by. The coffee mug’s my design, by the way.”
“Yeah?” Her brain promptly scattered in every possible direction, from being shocked that such a brutal-looking man was also an artist, to the fact that he’d brought her a present. “You shouldn’t have, Loki. You already got me the job. I’m the one who owes you.”
“You don’t owe me dick. I had a talk with Scout before I left, and she told me that you won her over all on your own. She wasn’t going to give you the time of day—said she was going to interview you just to shut me up—but you struck her as being honorable. That’s the word she used—honorable,” he shrugged when she glanced at him questioningly. “You can ask her what the hell she meant by that, if you want.”
“What I want is for you to thank Scout for at least hearing me out. I’m grateful to you, but I’m also grateful that she was willing to give me a chance.”
“I don’t deserve your gratitude, and Scout obviously knows talent when she sees it. You landed that job all on your own by being fucking honorable, so you deserve to celebrate.”
“I’ll celebrate if and when I can turn this probationary job into a fulltime gig.”
He lifted a brow. “So you’re not in the mood to celebrate? Does that mean I should take that survival kit back?”
“Don’t you dare.” She danced away from him when he made to grab the bag, before she pulled out the first item. “Ah, Post-It notes. They hold the world together.”
“I use those on the food I bring in for lunch. No one uses neon green but me, so when someone opens up the fridge in the breakroom and they see that sticky note on your shit, no one’s going to touch it. Or if they do, they’ll answer to me.”
“Uh-huh.” Alice shook her head, amazed that with every word, he redefined the person she thought Loki was. It was obvious he was used to being in control of the people he had in his life, just as it was clear he felt perfectly justified in thinking she was one of those people.
But was she?
By taking her to the Lower Lower, Loki had given her all the information she’d needed to figure out who Felix really was, and what he’d done to her life. When she’d shared her problems with Loki, the first thing he’d done was try to fix them. When he’d opened the door for her at House Of Payne—and she’d walked through it—he obviously believed that action put her under the umbrella of his protection.
The question was, did she want to depend on him to be her protector?
Automatically she shook her head. “I can take care of myself, you know.”
“Yeah,” he drawled, and again looked at the packed boxes. “That’s been going great for you so far.”
She froze. “I thought you said that the shit I’ve been going through wasn’t of my own making.”
“Well, yeah—”
“From the time I was orphaned when I was twelve, I did everything I could to not be a burden to the people around me, so I learned real quick how to stand on my own two feet,” she went on, and it was her turn to scowl. “I did trust Felix after he had shown himself to be untrustworthy, that’s true. But that’s the only mistake I’ve made up to this point, and you can bet it’s a mistake I’ll never make again. Believe me, I get it now. I get that I should never rely on anyone but myself, so that’s why I sold my damn car. After all the shit I’ve been through because of trusting the wrong person, I’m not about to ask anyone for help at this point. I don’t want handouts, I don’t want to feel like I’m indebted to anyone, and I sure as hell don’t need to rely on anyone for protection.”
“I was just talking about someone stealing your lunch, so don’t get your panties in a bunch.”
“You implied that I can’t take care of myself.” She put the paper bag aside and jammed her hands on her hips. “I get that you’re seeing me at the lowest point my life since my dad died and I was taken in by the Fieldings, but you need to understand something. I may have been knocked down by Felix’s betrayals, but I’m not out. Not by a long shot.”
“Okay, I get it, tough guy. You got a problem, you can handle it like fucking Wonder Woman, and no one can tell you any different, is that it?”
“That’s it exactly.”
“I’m good with all that, with one or two exceptions.” Slowly he sauntered toward her, probably trying to look harmless. Not even on his weakest day would he be able to pull off such a feat. “You say that Felix fuckface taught you how stupid it is to rely on anyone except yourself, but that’s a bunch of bullshit right there. You got people in your life, yeah? People who rely on you?”
She thought of Joelle begging her to not cut her out of her life. “I do.”
“Do you have plans on breaking their hearts by suddenly refusing to be a part of their lives just so you can stand alone and not rely on anyone?”
“Of course not.”
“Exactly.” He nodded as if she’d said something profound. “The way I see it, you’re going to try to make your world into an island, with yourself as its only inhabitant, but that’s an impossible task. You’ve already got people who would never leave you on your island, and they rely on you to feel the same way. You’d never kick them off your island, would you?”
Her mouth tightened, hating that he was right. “Have you forgotten that one of those people blew up my island?”
“I haven’t forgotten anything. I’m just saying the lesson that should be learned from this whole episode with Felix fuckface is that he’s a shitty person. He’s the one who made the mistakes, not you.” He stopped in front of her with only an inch or two separating them. It was like he didn’t understand the concept of personal space, but she was too busy drowning in the tigerish glow of his eyes to check him on it. “Don’t shut down your island because of all the Felix fuckfaces of the world.”