“I don’t think heaven has one of those.”
“It’s heaven, Al. It must have an official hot-guy factory, and Gus and Loki are probably the latest models.”
That was Joelle in a nutshell. “So why are you surprised?”
“I’m surprised because Loki is nothing like I’d imagined him to be. Thanks to Felix lying through his smashed-in teeth, I pictured Loki as being some kind of nightmarish lovechild between Cujo and a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal, but he’s nothing like that. If anything, I’d say he’s more like a young Brad Pitt’s hotter, sexier twin on steroids. I mean, look at him. He’s practically seven feet tall.”
“He’s a good half-foot away from that.”
“Which means he’s practically seven feet tall.”
“If you insist.” Shooting for a casual air, Alice glanced at her foster sister. “So, um, you think Loki’s sexy?”
“Don’t you?” At that, Joelle turned to face her, grinning like a maniac. “Seriously, don’t you? I never did get the chance to ask you why Mr. Super-Hot Hell’s Angels Guy was dropping in on you for a leisurely Saturday visit. Was it a booty call?”
“Holy crap, that brain of yours.” Alice looked to the ceiling while her face grew hotter than the surface of the sun. “First of all, Loki used to be with the Gravediggers, not Hell’s Angels, though admittedly they’re pretty much the same thing, from what he’s told me. And secondly, it takes real talent to jump from Cujo to booty call in just a few words. You should be commended.”
“You’re blushing,” Joelle squealed, doing a little dance. “It was a booty call, wasn’t it?”
After a brief hesitation, Alice nodded. “He brought me a notarized guarantee that it was going to be the best booty call ever.”
“What?”
“For real. I stuffed it into the backpack I brought as my overnight bag.”
In a flash, Joelle raced into to the foyer, snatched up Alice’s backpack where she’d hung it next to the door, then threw it to her as she returned to the front parlor. “Oh, my God, read it out loud. I want to hear it with my own ears while staring at him and imagining the words coming out of his mouth. Ready? Go.”
With a noisy sigh, Alice fished out the envelope and unfolded the no-nonsense letter within. “‘To whom it may concern, as of the date stated above, this notification guarantees to Alice Kathleen Halliday the best sex she has ever had, given to her freely and enthusiastically by Loki Colgrave, up to and until she can no longer stand.’” She flipped it around so her foster sister could see it. “It’s got a notary stamp and everything.”
“Holy shit.”
“I know, right?” She stared at the official-looking letter while her girly parts began to tingle. “I wonder if this means I could sue Loki if I’m not completely satisfied with his services.”
“I have a feeling that’s never going to be a problem.” Joelle plucked the letter from her grasp, read it as if trying to commit it to memory, then fanned herself with it. “Wow. I can’t believe an official-looking document just gave me a hot flash.”
“Tell me about it.”
“I am kind of confused, though.”
“About what?”
“For some reason, that ultimate specimen of manhood gave you an in-writing guarantee of great sex, and now… you’re here. With me. Not having all that guaranteed great sex with that ultimate specimen of manhood.”
Alice’s mood took a nosedive. “More than that, that ultimate specimen of manhood is the one who drove me here.”
“Did you have sex first?”
“Nope.”
“See? This is why I’m confused.”
“You and me both.” Alice frowned at Loki while his heartrending story played through her mind. “I guess he got sidetracked, and now he seems to have… I don’t know. Lost interest.”
“Oh, I doubt that, Al. No man loses interest in a booty call.”
“Jo, he drove me here for a sleepover with you. Not him.” Which, once she said it out loud, was just about the most depressing thing she’d heard in a long time.
“Okay, so he’s trying to make points with your fam. Good for him.” Joelle shrugged, looking as though she had read Alice’s mind and found her thoughts hilarious. “Speaking of, Gus seems to like him. My man never likes anyone at first glance, so that’s another plus in Loki’s favor.”
“Gus liked you at first glance. Or have you forgotten how he swaggered right up to you at that benefit thing you dragged me to a couple years ago, and announced straight-up that you were going to be his woman?”
“As if I’d ever forget the most romantic moment of my life.” Joelle sighed, dreamily pressing her hands to her heart. “I’m just wondering if you’re experiencing your most romantic moment with Loki, now that he’s come into your life.”
“I honestly don’t know what to think of him.” As Alice spoke, she glanced back to where the men were, only to find they were now looking in their direction. “Right after we first met, I offered him a no-strings, straight-up tumble, and he walked away like he had more important things to do, like clean out his gutters or wash his cat.”
“Ouch.”
“Just when I’m thinking he’s not interested, he gets me a job, then goes miles out of his way every day to drive me to and from work. On top of that, he gathered up some of his biker buddies to visit my landlord to get back the money that lazy jerk squeezed out of me. And just today Loki called his brother—his actual biological brother who’s some kind of big deal in the Gravediggers MC—to put out feelers as to who sent those enforcers your way. Come to find out, Loki is a lot like Gus when it comes to rough childhood memories about that kind of thing.”
“Really?”
“Don’t sound so surprised. It’s not like Gus has the corner on the market when it comes to abusive upbringings.”
“No, I mean Loki’s done all of that… without trying to get you into bed?” Joelle stared at her with such huge eyes she looked like she was going to pass out. “Wow.”
“I know. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what angle he’s playing.”
“Maybe he, you know… has issues with getting it up?”
At that, Alice burst out laughing. “Yeah, no. There’s definitely no problem with his equipment. Everything is in fine working order.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.” Then her humor dimmed. “But he holds back every time I give him the green light. And trust me, I’ve been giving him the green light pretty much from day one.”
“I bet it’s because he’s a man who enjoys a good chase,” Joelle decided, studying Loki through narrowed eyes even as the men swiveled their heads in the direction of the long, tree-shrouded drive. “Where’s the fun if you go and offer up sex like it’s no big deal? Like he’s no big deal? Is that how you offered it up to him?”
“Well…” She had mentioned something about enjoying him while still keeping him at a distance, and he clearly hadn’t liked that. “Kind of.”