It wasn’t only the laptop and the sudden canceling of dates or even the red lipstick in his medicine cabinet. It was the one time we had to make a quick stop at some deserted factory where Duke had left me huddled and locked in his car where I watched him disappear into an alleyway only to emerge shoving a large envelope into his coat. Or the time he’d step out to take a phone call only to never return, and my urgent calls to him going unanswered.
How could I have been so stupid?
I let my mind wander back to the night that began that miserable journey.
THE DOORBELL RANG, and Duke was standing there, strong and sturdy, with a bouquet of flowers. My favorite white lilies, and I could care less that they were the funeral flower. They were beautiful and fragrant as the water filled the vase. A quick glance over my shoulder, I saw Duke standing in front of the window, gazing out into the night. His shadow staring back at me with troubled and conflicted eyes.
Bound to take his troubles away, my arms went around his waist, and my head rested against his back. His hand covered mine, and then he swung me around, my back was to the window when his hand grazed along my side as his lips found mine.
“If we keep this up, we’ll be late to dinner,” he whispered into my neck, sending a thrill down my spine.
Duke twirled me around the dance floor at the dinner party, our bodies brushed against each other. “A penny for your thoughts,” I asked.
“You wouldn’t want to see into my mind, darling.” He growled into my hair where his chin rested.
The push and pull of the evening left us panting as we rushed from the parking garage to Duke’s apartment, and without hesitation, our clothes came off while we made for his bed.
It was the coolness of the sheets that woke me.
IT WAS MY OWN POUNDING fists against the door that pulled me from my memories. The ruckus answered with silence. There has to be a way to take my power back. Think, Natalie. What is his weakness? Then it hit me.
Chapter Nineteen
Duke
The contents of the bucket sloshed over the sides and down her leg. She seemed not to even notice. “You know you’re going to have to clean that up, right? Maybe you could be a little more careful,” I called after her from my location a few steps behind, not taking any chances that the bucket would come at me again.
She didn’t respond. She trudged along to the bathroom where she emptied the bucket into the toilet and set it aside while she undressed and got into the shower. Again, I leaned against the doorframe, pretending to be on my phone, all the while sneaking glances at her through the curtain.
It was like watching a silhouette through a window, and every time I watched it, she affected me more.
This time she didn’t ask for the towel to be handed to her. Instead, she ripped open the curtain, a wild look on her face, and she sauntered wet and naked toward me.
I stood up straight, knowing that my erection was visible through the jogging pants I wore that left nothing to the imagination, ready to defend myself or take her down, whichever I needed to do.
She fell to her knees in front of me, and her mouth grazed my hard cock through my athletic pants. I tried to hold my groan in, but it was nearly impossible. It was like she had read my mind all the times I’d jerked off envisioning her in the shower.
Her fingers gripped the waistband of my pants, and in one yank I was exposed. Standing at attention. I wanted to flick my hips so that my dick would rub across her lips, but I knew that was taking it too far. I had to stop her before we went to a place of no return.
“No,” I growled. Grabbing her shoulders tightly, I pulled her away and I wanted to jerk her to a standing position, but her tongue shot out and connected with my tip before I could get her off her knees. My head fell back as a rush of desire shot through me.
“Let me make you feel good,” she breathed into my crotch while her tongue shot out again and left a trail from my tip down the shaft and back up on the other side.
The floral scent wafting from her and mixed with my own desire was almost enough to make me dizzy. I wanted nothing more than to let her make me feel good, and I thought there would be no harm in this one time when she wrapped her lips around me.
Her hands came around and squeezed my backside, pulling me taut against her face and deeper inside her warm, lush mouth.
I stood tensely, playing this out in my mind. She sucked, suckled, swirled, licked, and thrust my cock in her mouth, and the pleasure slowly began to rise, overtaking my sense of right and wrong. Slowly my hand wrapped itself into her hair, and I gave myself over to the pleasure surging through my body.
One glance down into her eyes that were looking directly at me showed the power she was feeling in that moment. She'd won that round.
I thrust harder, hitting the back of her throat, making her gag, giving me back some of the control. I fucked her mouth ruthlessly until it was too much for me to stop and there was no turning back. The weapons were different that day, but the same push and pull, back and forth, and love and hate for domination was still strongly there. I took her with all the lust and anger I had held inside for years, my hands twisting harder into her hair, and with a loud grunt that bounced around the room, I let loose in her throat. She gulped everything down, not wavering once as I came and came in her. She sucked every last drop out of me, and when it was over, she let my dick drop from her mouth and used the back of her arm to wipe her mouth off. All the while her eyes never left mine.
My mind was mush, in a dream-like state, as she stood with a look of victory across her face.
Chapter Twenty
Natalie
I won. He submitted to me. In those moments I held all the control in my hands. It was exactly what I wanted, to use my weapons against him, break him down bit by bit as he had been doing to me.
It might be a small accomplishment, but in those moments as knelt in the hallway cleaning up the contents that slipped out on the walk to the bathroom, with my backside swaying in the air and his taste lingering in my mouth, I could feel Duke’s eyes burning into me, and I couldn’t stop a small smile from forming on my lips.
My head was held high when he escorted me back to the basement room, and once I was locked up and alone, I deflated a little because while my mouth was wrapped around Duke, I felt desire too. I wanted him to carry me to the bed and have his way with me. I’d wanted to break Duke’s restraint, making him see me again.
Instead, he let me take him and then, being cruel, he brought me back to this tortuous room. It almost made me sick to think what I felt during those minutes in the bathroom, lusting for my tormentor. The power I thought I took really was nothing more than a joke. I didn’t have anything except my own yearning.
Yearning for escape.
Yearning for comfort.
Yearning for safety.
Yearning for Duke.
The time alone became so overwhelming that I began reflecting on my life. Every choice that led me to that point in time.
Which ones were good and which were not, and which were the ones that I could have made differently? They swirled in my mind, making it hard to determine what was reality and what was not. Again, I was fading, losing myself.
I began to write my own autobiography, thinking I could account for this time along the walls with nothing but my nails, so when he killed me at least something of my story was left.