“You’re such a dick.” Jade.
“Language,” I reminded her as I came into the kitchen and lowered myself to the closest bar stool.
“Yeah, Jade. Language,” Keane said and stuck a tongue out at her.
“‘Dick’ really isn’t a bad word,” Jade argued. “People have that as a name, you know.”
“Is that his name?” I asked, nodding toward Keane. Keane pointed a chopstick at himself and glanced back at Jade.
“It is when he’s acting like one.” Jade stabbed an egg roll on Keane’s plate with her chopstick and put it on hers.
“I mean…” Keane started, stealing his egg roll back, “I can’t argue with her logic.” When Jade attempted to steal the egg roll, Keane slapped her chopstick away with his like they were clashing swords. “I don’t think so,” he told her, and proceeded to take a large bite out of the egg roll. “Now it’s got my germs. Do you kids still believe in cooties?”
“See?” Jade raised one perfectly groomed eyebrow at me. “He’s an egg roll hog.”
“There are a dozen in the bag on the island,” Keane said, and I snagged the paper bag myself before she could, peering into it.
“He’s right.” I inhaled the incredible aroma, knowing the smell to be my favorite Chinese place instantly. “And they’re all mine.”
“Nuh-huh,” Jade protested, rising from her seat and coming toward me. I maneuvered so I was opposite from her on the other side of the island. “Come on, Navy! You know I love egg rolls.”
“So do I, and I’m older.” I grabbed two from the bag just as she lunged and yanked the bag out of my arms.
“Hey, hey, be careful with those babies,” Keane said.
I took a healthy bite of an egg roll. “What do I owe you?”
Keane looked at me like I’d spoken another language. “What?”
“For the Chinese food.” I motioned with my egg roll hand as I piled fried rice onto a plate with the other.
“Nothing.”
“Come on.” I popped a bite of orange chicken in my mouth and had to stop myself from groaning. “You know I love this place, but it’s not the cheap shit.”
“The cheap shit is shit.” Using his foot under the table, he pushed a chair away from the table. “Sit down and eat.” Pointing one of his chopsticks at Jade he added, “And watch your egg rolls around this one. She’s undomesticated.”
A piece of orange chicken went flying Keane’s way and he deftly caught it in his mouth and grinned at his attacker.
“He’s the worst,” Jade said, but I knew she didn’t mean it. They acted just like bickering siblings. He’d known the twins since they were toddlers, so it wasn’t really a surprise to see the camaraderie they shared.
“Thank you,” Keane said and pointed at the chair again for me to take a seat. “Rough day?”
“Not rough,” I said, easing in the chair beside him. “Just long.” I eyed Rose who had been quiet since I’d entered the kitchen. “How was Jess’s house?”
“Fine,” Rose said, filling her mouth with food to keep from talking more.
“Rose dyed Jess’s hair, and it turned out bad.” Rose elbowed Jade and Jade made a pained face even though I knew it hadn’t hurt that bad.
“It wasn’t my fault,” Rose insisted, her mouth full of food.
I closed my eyes briefly. “Did she want you to dye her hair?”
“Yeah. And she—” Rose pointed at Jade “said we could just use Kool-Aid, but I talked her out of it. We bought actual hair dye, but it didn’t work like it was supposed to.”
“Yeah, because Rose stained Jess’s forehead, her scalp, and her neck. Purple. But her hair turned green and purple.” Jade’s eyes were as wide as saucers. “Oh, her mom was so pissed.”
“Language,” I reminded her.
“Pissed isn’t a bad word. In some countries, it’s a name for drunk.”
“Was Jess’s mom drunk?”
“No.” Jade turned her head to smirk at Rose. “But she probably wanted to be.”
I rubbed the skin between my eyebrows. “Did you fix her hair, Rose?”
“Hell no,” Jade said. “Her mom wouldn’t let anyone—not even Jess—touch it. I guess they have a hair appointment tomorrow.”
I took a sip of water. “Then you’re going to pay for the hair appointment,” I told Rose.
“That’s not fair,” Rose whined, bringing her hands up and showing me the purple staining between her fingers.
“And it’s not fair that Jess’s head is purple.”
“And green,” Jade added.
“But she wanted it purple!” Rose said and pounded on the table.
“Then you should have told her no.”
“If I didn’t do it, Jade would’ve dyed her hair with Kool-Aid.”
“And if Jade had, then Jade would pay for the hair appointment. You should have told her no, but you didn’t.”
I could feel Keane’s eyes on me. I never, ever disciplined my sisters in front of people who weren’t a part of our immediate family. But I reminded myself that if my aunt was here, she’d give an even harsher punishment.
Rose threw her chopsticks down onto the table and stalked away. I counted to five as she ran up the stairs to her bedroom and right as I said five the slamming of her door rang out.
“Fun family dinner,” Jade said and shoved food into her mouth.
“Kool-Aid, Jade?” I asked her. “Didn’t you learn your lesson last summer?”
“It looked pretty,” Jade said with a shrug.
“Oh,” Keane said right before erupting into laughs. “Was that when you tried to dye your hair pink?” He laughed harder. “And then you had those pink drips down the front of your face that you had to scrub so hard that you scrubbed your spray tan off of your forehead only?”
Jade glared at him.
“Yes,” I answered for her. “And who paid for the hair appointment and another spray tan? You did.” I sighed, setting my chopsticks down and leaning back in my chair. “You knew that was a bad idea, Jade. Why didn’t you try to stop it?”
Jade shrugged. “Rose was being a bitch.”
“Language,” I reminded her, warning in my voice.
“Why are you up my ass? Auntie’s not even here.”
“Because I remember when Auntie got a call from school that you’d dropped the F bomb and the stress that put her under. And who had to deal with you then? Me.”
“Well, you’re not our mom. And Aunt Isabel’s not either.”
“Your mom isn’t here. Someone has to step in until you’re an adult.” My head was throbbing bad now, and I knew it would lead to me pounding coffee soon, in an effort to be rid of it.
“In two years, I’ll be an adult.”
I spread my arms. “Then in two years, drop all the F bombs you want.”
Jade set her chopsticks down on the table and leaned forward. I recognized the challenge in her eyes and steeled myself for what she was about to do. “Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck fuck. Fuck!”