“Don’t feel like you have to say yes to this,” I reminded her as I handed her a water bottle. “I haven’t seen the cabin except for some photos, so I don’t know what it’s like out there.”
“Unless it’s a windowless shack, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” She took a long drink as she looked around the living room. “Auntie hasn’t changed it much over the years, has she?”
I eyed the tapestries our aunt had hung up a dozen years before and hadn’t removed. “This makes her happy,” I said with a shrug.
“I hope she gets some dick in Greece.”
“Violet.”
“What?” she laughed and took another swallow. “She spent part of her twenties and all of her thirties raising four kids. She could use some dick.”
“Maybe, but I don’t think she’s going there for that purpose. She could get that anywhere.”
Violet snorted. “In Amber Lake? It’s a college town. Unless Auntie’s prowling the fraternities, she’s probably not going to find a whole hell of a lot.” It was a funny thought. Our aunt had never married, choosing to raise her only sister’s children instead of starting a family for herself. She’d been more like a mom than mine—from the love to the discipline to the beliefs she’d instilled in me. In some ways, I felt guilt for that. Though it had been her choice ultimately, sometimes I worried that she’d given up too much for us. If she wanted some Greek dick, I supposed I hoped she got some.
Violet plopped onto the couch that overlooked the front yard, the whooshing sounds of her many layers making her sound like a parachute crumbling on the ground.
Like me, Violet had warm, tanned skin. Which was why the obvious mustard-colored foundation on her face stood out like a sore thumb. When it had been just her and I the night before, she hadn’t bothered hiding her face or her belly. But even though she knew that I’d told Keane what had happened, she felt the need to cover herself up again with the baggy clothes and makeup. Violet was always the more girly sister—I mean, she knew makeup like it was her job. She was the dreamer of the two of us, the more romantic, more emotional, funnier one.
But right now, she was visibly anxious, her boot-clad foot tapping on the floor as she peered out the window. But from the small smile that appeared on her lips, I could tell the anxiety wasn’t from nerves or worries but from excitement. She was always more of a free spirit than me, so maybe this felt like an adventure for her. Or, maybe she was excited to get out from under my worried gaze. I wished I could look at her like she was just my little sister, but she was so much more than that. She’d returned from L.A. a different person; someone I didn’t wholly recognize. In many ways, it was like I was learning about her all over again. She hadn’t cried since the morning before and by all accounts, she appeared stronger than I probably would’ve been, if I were in her shoes.
It would be hard to leave her at the cabin, I knew. To not constantly have her within arm’s reach or even a quick drive away. The cabin wasn’t as far as L.A., but suddenly it felt too far.
I wanted to ask her if she planned on pressing charges, to tell her we should take photos of her bruises and injuries as evidence if we needed them in the future. I wanted to talk to her about getting a job, and what jobs between waiting tables she’d had in L.A. so I could start building her a resume.
I was a fixer. That’s what my friends always said about me. It was my very nature to nurture and protect, to help heal what I could. But I had to mute my natural inclinations because I knew jumping into the questions and a plan of action with Violet wouldn’t work. She didn’t need action; she needed space. She needed space from me.
I grabbed the bags I’d picked up from the grocery store the night before. Basic groceries like her favorite sugary cereals and snacks and a few fridge items. We’d gotten her set up on a cell phone, but I didn’t know what the service would be out at the cabin, so I needed to talk to Keane about setting up internet service.
“What are those?”
“If you decide to stay up at the cabin tonight, you’ll need a few things.” In another bag was a bed-in-a-bag set. Keane told me there was a queen bed in the larger of two bedrooms, but no laundry on-site, so I’d picked up an extra few changes of clothes and some baby books from the department store, too. It didn’t matter that the cabin was forty-five minutes away, I knew I’d be up there every day until I felt confident in Violet’s safety and stability. It would be difficult to juggle the twins, the store, and the couple hours every day that I went up to the cabin, but I’d make it work.
“He’s here,” Violet called as she slid off the couch. The front door opened as it always did when he came over. My aunt had long ago told him never to knock again—he was family. Keane stepped inside and within seconds of his entrance, Violet had leapt into his arms like she always belonged there.
“Hey, buttmunch,” he said to her, a nickname he’d given her when she was half the age she was now.
“Hey, butthole.”
Keane smiled at me over her head and oh—why did it make my heart ache so much? His arms were much longer, much bigger, than her. He appeared to be at least three times her size and seeing him hold her like that made me remember Violet as a young girl. When she was less troubled and experiencing fewer hardships than she faced now.
“Hey, you’re a big girl now. Which means you can use big words like ‘asshole’ instead.”
“Thanks for the permission, Dad.” She stepped out his arms. “I mean, asshole.”
He grinned down at her. “And since you’re a big girl, I can call you assmunch now.”
“It doesn’t sound as fun as asshole does, but I’ll take it.”
This was the Violet I knew. I’d nearly gasped from seeing her meld back into my fun-loving and funny little sister. Not the quiet, guarded shell of who she’d become during her absence from us all. “You ready?” Keane asked us both, his eyes light and his smile easy, a smile that Violet readily echoed. I understood, because a hug, a smile, from Keane felt absolutely soul settling.
He had the kind of arms that could wrap you up and make you forget all your woes. The kind of eyes that wouldn’t tell you a lie. And the kind of smile, when it was aimed at you, that made it so terribly easy to fall in love.
Or maybe that was just me. Hell, I’d been joking when I’d told myself that any of this would be easy. My feelings for him had never died off, had never weakened. They still had the power to pour through me and flood all rational thought.
But I had to play it cool. Be the friend to him that we’d agreed years before.
Before I could pick up the remaining bags I’d collected, Keane swooped them up. “Let me help,” he said, meaningfully, taking them and then the bed-in-a-bag and grocery bags from my hands. He popped a casual kiss to the top of my head and Violet followed him out the front door, happily chatting his ear off.
And somehow, I hadn’t moved an inch from my spot since the moment he’d come in. I just stared after them both, wondering what the hell he’d just done to my heart.
“So, this is it.” Keane gestured with his arms wide at the postage stamp of a living/dining/kitchen area.