“You don’t know what I’m like when it’s just me and Auntie. You don’t even know me anymore. You moved out five years ago. You can’t act like you know how I treat our aunt when you’re not ever here. Because you’re not here. You’re there for strangers—like at the shelter—more than you are for me. Unless I’m causing a problem.”
She wasn’t wrong. And that was what gutted me the most. I was failing my sisters.
“Call Auntie, tell her I snuck out. I don’t care. You don’t have any right to be mad at me for lying to you. Because you’re the biggest liar out of all of us.”
I wouldn’t have taken much stock in her statement were it not for the way her eyes narrowed at me, like she knew something that I didn’t know about.
“Yeah. Exactly. Don’t preach to me about lying. You’re just lucky that I was the only one caught in a lie tonight.” And with that, she stomped back up to her bedroom, slamming her door hard enough to rattle the whole house.
“That was…” Hollis began after a moment, moving to pick up the shattered pieces I’d abandoned.
“I’m sorry, Hols,” I said. “I shouldn’t have had that discussion in front of you. It probably embarrassed her.”
“Yeah, yikes.” She grabbed the dustpan under the sink and swept up the remains of the mug. “You don’t need to say sorry to me though. And I don’t think you need to say sorry to Jade either, right now. She needs to cool off.” She picked up our glasses from the coffee table and the remains of the snacks I’d made.
“She called me a liar,” I said, washing the mug dust from my hands. “She’s not wrong. But I wonder what she thinks I’m lying about.” It made me sick in the pit of my stomach.
“I don’t know that you should ask her right now. She’s upset and embarrassed and she might just be calling you a liar for something you don’t even know you did. She’ll cool off.”
“Hopefully she cools off sooner than later. My aunt comes home a week from Monday.”
“I don’t have any advice for you. I don’t know how I would’ve reacted if I were you. But speaking as a little sister myself, I know what it’s like to be ignored by mine. And I’d much rather have a sister who cares as much as you do. Even if I’m embarrassed.”
“Yeah, well, unfortunately my sister doesn’t know what it’s like to not have a sister up her ass all the time. And I can’t freeze her out.”
“Maybe you both need space from each other this weekend.”
“She and Rose are going to their friend’s house tomorrow, for Memorial weekend. They’re going camping.”
“She might sneak out to meet her boyfriend,” Hollis said gently. “Are you going to be okay knowing it’s a possibility?”
I shrugged. “I don’t have control over it one way or another. I will be at the cabin Sunday night and they won’t be home until sometime next week.”
“Maybe you can talk to Keane about things.”
“I feel like that’s just one more stress on my mind.”
“So, think of how much less stressed you’ll feel once you lay your cards out, and have a real conversation with him. Then you’ll only have your job and your sisters to worry about.”
I laughed. “Only.” I walked her to the door after she grabbed her things, and she stopped to give me a hug.
“You look wrecked. Take some melatonin and pass out.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” I smiled but knew it didn’t quite reach my eyes. Navy was right when she said I was fraying at the ends. That was exactly how I felt. And I didn’t know how to pull it back together.
“And Navy? You need to cut yourself some slack, you know? You are doing the best you can right now.”
But my best wasn’t enough.
19
KEANE
Tori jumped out of her car, donning sunglasses and holding bottles of champagne in each hand. “Who’s ready to partaaaaay?” she cheered, à la Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids. She sidled up to the porch, giving me an air kiss on the cheek and stepped across the threshold like she’d been to the cabin a hundred times. “Whoa. This is a flashback to the sixties.”
“Yeah.” I wasn’t offended. The place was in desperate need of an update, so her comment wasn’t surprising.
She bounced on the middle seat of the couch. “Damn. Bet this couch has seen more ass than Casanova.”
“That’s… probably true.”
“I dig it. It’s funky.” She propped her feet up on the coffee table and kicked back. “Where’s everyone else?”
“Navy is on her way. She’s bringing wings and chips. The stove stopped working a couple days ago, so Violet and I have been surviving on microwaved meals and cereal.”
“Violet?” She tipped the sunglasses down her nose. “Your newest lady friend?”
The thought revolted me. She was more my little sister than romantic interest. Gross. I’d known her forever; I never would have looked at her like that.
Except, I had known Navy since we were kids and I still went there with her. I sure didn’t think of Navy like a sister. Fuck.
“No,” I said, taking the bottles of wine from her and putting them in the pathetically empty fridge. I’d have to do something about that, just because I lived like a bachelor didn’t mean that Violet should have to, too. “She’s Navy’s little sister.”
“How little are we talking?”
“She’s twenty. So, young, but not a kid.”
“That’s good, because I’m not on babysitting duty tonight.” She linked her fingers behind her head and stared out the large picture window that gazed out over the lake. “Pretty sweet spot you’ve got out here, bud.”
“It’s quiet.” I stood at the window, looking out over the lake. A few kids splashed and squealed across the way from us, but otherwise it was relatively quiet for a weekend. “Asa’s building his spot just over there.” I pointed out the giant concrete pad about a hundred yards from the cabin.
“Where’s he at?” she asked, standing and peering out the window.
“He’s home. He doesn’t stay nights out here, not until his cabin is built at least. Mine is too loud for him to consider staying here.” I knocked on the drywall that separated the living room from the bedrooms.
“I bet this place gets noisy in the summer. How’s he gonna block out sound?”
“It does get noisy here, but we’re applying damping compound between two sheets of drywall and we purchased insulation specifically made for soundproofing to help.”
“I love how you say that like I know what damping compound is.”
“Yeah,” I laughed. “I forget sometimes. My days have been filled with figuring this shit out.”
“It’s good. You look good. Tired, yeah, but you look happy.”
“Do I?” I scratched my chin. “I guess hard labor wears well on me.”
“I bet it wears really well on Asa.” She sent a low whistle through the air. “Is he still hot as fuck?”