Her question hung in the air between them.
He didn’t deny it nor did he give any indication that her guess was correct. He just continued to look at her with those incredible eyes of his until she nearly forgot she’d asked a question at all.
Once the silence dragged on to an uncomfortable length, she cleared her throat and began to backpedal. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that. Of course you don’t care what I’d think. You hardly know me.”
His frown deepened. “What are you looking for, Angelina Kroll?”
In that moment? With the job? In her bed? She wasn’t sure, but she answered as honestly as she could. “I thought I knew, but I’m not so sure I do anymore.”
He dropped his arms and stepped closer. In a tone close to a growl, he said, “I’m not the man you think I am.”
Her lips parted and her breathing quickened. “That would be a relief because my first impression of you wasn’t that good.”
There it was, that light of humor in his eyes again. He stepped even closer. “I’m who I need to be, not who I want to be.”
Lord, he smelled as good as he looked. He was so tall that she had to crane her neck back to look at him, and broad chested enough that she would have just as happily closed her eyes and wrapped herself around his middle. Even in a suit, the definition of his pecks made her want to run her hands up his flat stomach and over them. She was too levelheaded, though, to let herself do it. “Are any of us who we wish we were? In my mind I’m a hell of lot more exciting than I’d ever allow myself to actually be.”
A smile curled one side of his mouth and desire shone in his eyes. “I’d test your resolve, but that would be irresponsible and I’m not that anymore.”
There was a sexual sincerity in his words that struck a chord in her. Just above a whisper, she said, “I’m not either.”
He traced the line of her cheek gently. “Things were a lot easier when I didn’t think about how my actions would affect anyone else.”
“Yes.” She understood that feeling so well. “My son is and has to remain my first priority. I need this job more than I need . . .” She didn’t finish her sentence, sure he’d understand.
“Your job here is secure. You shouldn’t come to the photo shoot, but if you want to, be here by nine.”
Before she had a chance to respond, her phone beeped to remind her it was time to get Whitney. “I should go. I can’t be late for pickup on the first day.”
His smile widened. “Then go.”
Damn, it was hard to when he looked at her with promise in his eyes. Ever since Whitney’s biological father had signed off on his rights to him, relieved to not be part of the journey, Angelina had found it easy to say no to men. She couldn’t explain why it was different with Connor.
It simply was.
She forced herself to turn and start walking away. At the door, she stopped and looked back at him. She opened her mouth to wish him luck on his photo shoot. He was right—she shouldn’t go to the photo shoot. The responsible thing to do would be to hide in her office and kick ass at her job.
I shouldn’t go, but I really want to.
She left without saying what she’d decided, because she really didn’t know what she’d do.
Chapter Ten
“Look this way,” the woman behind the camera said. “Try to relax. We’ll get a few shots of you alone then we’ll bring out a puppy.”
Connor turned his head toward the photographer and tried to take her advice, but she wasn’t the reason he was tense. Thoughts of Angelina were distracting him. The way she sought him out the day before, leaned in, licked her lips. She wanted him.
So, where was she?
Why wasn’t he exchanging secret smiles with her between poses?
What was he doing wrong?
“Strong eyes are powerful, but the mood of the calendar is more playful. You’re a gentle giant. Confident. Imagine you’re at your girlfriend’s house, she has the most adorable kitten, you pick it up, cuddle it, then she walks in. Make me believe I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. Look at the camera and see the woman you want more than you’ve ever wanted anyone.”
Great, she wants me to think about Angelina more? How will that put me in a better mood?
“I like your posture. And you look amazing. Try shaking out your arms. See if you can release some of that tension.”
He did as he was asked but only grew more irritated. I used to have a swagger women found irresistible. All I had to do was nod toward the bedroom and their clothing started to fly. I can’t even get Angelina to watch me take off mine.
So, yeah, I’m tense.
I haven’t had sex since I met her. Can a man die from prolonged abstinence? I don’t know, I’ve never experienced a dry spell before. For all I know my dick will shrivel up and drop off. God knows, it hasn’t worked right since Angelina gave me a tour that was so long and so boring I had time to imagine a life with her.
I could have my pick of women right now. What is my problem?
“Why don’t we take a break?” the photographer suggested, excusing herself from the room.
A few minutes later Connor’s phone rang from the dressing room and was surprisingly fetched quickly by one of the photographer’s assistants. As soon as he saw the caller, he understood. “Hi, Claire.”
“Connor. What’s going on?”
“I’m mostly naked and apparently not living up to your famous photographer’s expectations.”
“She said you look angry. Did something happen?”
“I’m not angry. Confused. Not angry.”
“Okay, what in particular are you confused about today? Give me something to work with.” When Connor didn’t immediately volunteer something, Claire lowered her voice. “Is it about that woman you like? The one Bradford was looking into? Is she involved in the embezzlement somehow?”
Connor waved a hand dismissively through the air. “No. Of course not. She’s as strait-laced as they come.”
“But this is about her?”
“I don’t want to talk about Angelina. If you really want me smiling for this photo shoot, you’d be better off telling me a joke.”
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Someone who wants to know what’s going on in your head. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”
Connor shot a glare at the people still in the room. They hastily retreated. Honestly, there were perks to being a badass. Once he was alone, Connor said, “I’m not used to this feeling.”
“What feeling?”
“Liking a woman who may not like me back.”
Claire laughed, seemed to realize he wasn’t joking, and sobered. “I’m sorry. I did not mean to laugh. So, why do you think she doesn’t like you?”
“She’s not here, is she?”
“All right. I’m getting a clearer picture of what’s going on. You invited Angelina to your shoot and she said no.”
“I didn’t invite her. I told her she shouldn’t come. But she looked like she wanted to come. I used to understand women. I don’t get Angelina.”