‘You working here this evening?’ Jamie nodded at Ethan’s laptop.
‘I was.’
‘Own business?’
‘A new venture. I’m setting up my own painting and decorating business. Something to keep me out of mischief.’
‘Good idea, Ethan. There’s always call for handymen.’
‘That’s what I’m hoping.’
‘You’ll have all the old ladies ringing your hotline.’ Jamie laughed. ‘You’ll be Mr Popular round here in no time at all.’
‘I hope so!’
‘Well, look, it’s been really good seeing you.’ Jamie drained his glass. ‘We’ve got a busy few weeks ahead of us with moving and all that, but once we’re settled back in the village, hopefully we can do this again?’
‘I’d like that.’
‘Brilliant.’ Jamie stood up. ‘Best get back. I told Donna I wouldn’t be long and she gets a bit… crotchety if I don’t stick to my word. The hormones are driving her crazy and one minute she’s furious, the next she’s sobbing. It’s a minefield. She wanted me to go out for a bit so she could have a soak in the bath but if I’m gone too long, she’ll start to worry. I told her it’s different here and that we’re not in the heart of the City anymore but she still gets anxious.’
‘That’s understandable.’
‘See you soon, then.’ Jamie shook Ethan’s hand with the vigour of an old friend then he took his glass to the bar and left the pub.
Ethan finished his own drink. If only he had someone waiting at home for him. His mum would be there, but to have a partner, someone who loved him and wanted to spend time with him would be wonderful. The ache of missing Tilly, of missing being part of a couple opened again in his chest, the wound still too raw to completely heal. Finding a connection with another person was special and he wondered if he’d ever feel that kind of security and joy again.
It had been good seeing Jamie with his messy ginger hair, kind hazel eyes and the freckles that covered his nose and cheeks. He didn’t look that different to how he had when he was a teenager, he’d just grown taller and filled out across the shoulders a bit. Ethan hadn’t seen him in years but it was as if it had been just weeks. Jamie was still easy to talk to, still funny and friendly, and Ethan hoped he’d see him again soon. Many people found it difficult to be around Ethan, feeling the subject of his grief too overwhelming to navigate, some of them seeming to fear that it might be infectious and that they too might lose someone they loved. Ethan could understand that and he’d let people leave his life without putting up a fight for them, watched some of his mates and Tilly’s back in Tonbridge disappear from his life, accepting how difficult it was for them. He’d have found it difficult too, he knew that. But Jamie had been open and honest and Ethan appreciated that.
His thoughts drifted towards Lila and what his mother had told him about her earlier that afternoon when he’d found a chance to ask her. Lila had lived in the village for a few years and bought a cottage on Sunflower Street with her partner, Ben. They’d seemed happy enough, his mother had said, although she admitted that she had felt that something was off with Ben. It was, in his mother’s words, ‘a gut feeling’ that Ben wasn’t an honest character. His mother had said that Lila and Ben were both busy, he left for work early and returned home late and therefore she saw more of Lila than of Ben. However, she said she hadn’t got to know Lila very well as the younger woman seemed to spend a lot of time rushing around, even though she ran her own business from home. They sometimes crossed paths in the village wool shop and exchanged pleasantries, then Lila would go rushing off again. Lila and Ben had been about to get married, in a small ceremony of close friends and family – his mother knew this because a neighbour had told her – but Ben had failed to show up at the church. He had jilted Lila at the altar. It was a terribly sad affair and Ethan’s mother expressed her sympathy for Lila, having been abandoned by her own partner many years ago. She had taken Lila a few meals in the following weeks, but that had been about a year ago, and life on Sunflower Street and in the village had moved on. As it always had done and always would. Sad things happened but people survived. Lila was a survivor just like Ethan.
Time now to go home and rest, to think and to plan. Jamie seemed to think Ethan’s business was a good idea. Ethan hoped he was right.
5
Lila placed her mug on the draining board then wiped her wet hands on a towel. She turned and looked around her kitchen, at the dresser that was now tidy and dust free, at the slate floor that had been swept and mopped, at the large fridge with its magnets with quotes about friendship and seizing the day, with sweet motivational phrases like Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
She sighed as she let the words sink in. There had certainly been storms in her life and she did love to dance, but could there be dancing in the rain? Was it possible to smile even when times were tough? Lila really hoped so. She also hoped that the storm would eventually pass and leave behind a calm, sunny day.
Strolling around her cottage, she admired how clean and tidy everything was. Roxie had certainly made an impact on her home and helped her to get rid of anything she didn’t need, especially things that reminded her of Ben and would be of no help with her recovery; also known as moving on.
But something was missing today. The sunshine was streaming in through the sparkling windows, the floors were warm, the aromas of furniture polish and vanilla candles filled the air and she felt better knowing that there were no dead rodents stashed under her bed, but even so, the cottage was so quiet. It would be this quiet all day and all night unless she filled it with noise, with music and song. Her nights of singing had done this for her as she’d danced and sung in her wedding gown, trying to banish the silence, the loneliness, the emptiness. This cottage had been meant to house a family, to hold Lila, Ben and their babies safe within its walls, to watch over them as they grew, to show physical signs of this as Lila and Ben drew on the doorframe to show how their children were getting taller. Lila had imagined it all over the years. She had envisioned babies being brought through the front door in a brand new car seat, nursed in a fancy rocking chair upstairs. She had pictured holding chubby hands as little ones toddled around the kitchen and garden, supervised them as they baked cookies and muffins. Her heart had soared at the thought of celebrating birthdays at the kitchen table, cheering as her children blew out the candles on their cakes. It had all seemed possible, seemed real, seemed to be the perfect dream.
Then Ben had blown it all apart in an instant.
But now Lila knew that what she’d thought she and Ben had, had never been real, it had been a dream, and like most dreams it had held little substance. And now it was long gone. Like Ben.
What she was missing most today was Roxie. Her friend was so full of life, of enthusiasm and joie de vivre that she filled a room, made a house into a home, pushed the shadows away. Having her company had helped Lila and she wished Roxie could have stayed on. But Roxie had her own home and life, of course, including some issues with her marriage that she needed to deal with. Lila knew that nothing was perfect, that all relationships had difficult times, and she hoped with all her heart that Roxie and her husband would work through theirs. Roxie deserved to be happy.