A huff of air escaped her when he tightened his hand on the leather belt and gave a firm jerk, pulling her knees out from under her. With her fingers, she tried to hold onto the bed as he inexorably reeled her toward him, causing her dress to roll upward as she was tugged across the mattress.
“We should talk ….” Desperate, Ginny tried to reason with him while being flipped over onto her back.
“You had all the time last night and this morning to talk.”
Her awkward attempt to straighten her dress to a more modest covering was hampered by Gavin leaning over her, and it became more imperative to maintain a safe distance from him.
“I should have told you. I screwed up. Umph.”
Another huff of air escaped her when Gavin grabbed her upper arms, moving her higher up on the bed, and moving his massive body along with hers.
She brought her hands to his chest to push him away and was relieved when he raised up to sit on his knees between her splayed thighs, giving her breathing room.
“And you’re angry.”
“Angry doesn’t begin to describe how I feel.”
The man above her was as unapproachable as the first day she talked to him when he was working on his bike. There was no hint of warmth or understanding on his face.
She frowned up at him when he reached over and started taking her shoes off, throwing them onto the floor.
“Do you know how terrified I was when I read your letter, and the FBI told me you had already left Treepoint?”
“No.” Ginny moistened her dry lips.
“I drove like a madman to get to your house, only for Silas to tell me you were coming here, to an island owned by a man who wants to see you dead.”
If his intention was to make her regret the decisions she had made, he was achieving his goal.
“I’m so sorry.”
“As bad as I took the letter, it didn’t come close to how awful Trudy reacted.”
Ginny turned her head on satin comforter, looking away from him. “Don’t …,” she pleaded.
“She fucking started crying and screaming, Ginny. Your pregnant sister fucking loves you, and you fucking put me first instead of her in your lamebrained scheme.”
She swiveled her head back to shout up at him. “I did what I had to do! What I should have done before, if I had been brave enough. I knew Trudy would be hurt when she found out what I had done, but I also know she has Dalton, Sex Piston, Killyama, Fat Louise, and Crazy Bitch, who will make sure she and the baby are okay.”
“What about your brothers?”
“My brothers did fine without me for years after I was taken away. They’ll be hurt, but they will move forward … just as they did before.”
“What about me? Did you think I would just go on my merry way?”
She had to close her eyes tightly to prevent herself from crying. “Truthfully, yes.” Lifting her lashes, she held back the hurt she felt when he walked away without telling her about Taylor. “You don’t need me any more than Trudy does. You have Viper, The Last Riders, and Taylor. I saved you from having to come back to tell me you and she are together again. I was never going to be more than second-best to you, anyway. And,” she sighed, releasing the last of her anger, “I’m kind of tired of being in that position. That’s all I’ve ever been since I was three.”
“What in the hell does that mean?”
“I was working for the club when Viper and The Last Riders believed you were dead. Did you know I wasn’t even allowed to touch your jacket when it was hanging in the closet? You weren’t an afterthought, even years after you were gone.
“Did you know your father became a drunk and was constantly in fights at Mick’s? Viper would bring him into the diner a couple times a week just to make sure he was eating, and they would do nothing but talk about you, missing you, and how they would do things differently. They might have been surviving without you, yet each of them clung to their memories to still connect with you, as if you were still a part of their lives. Neither of them were willing to let you go entirely and to move on without you. You might not have been visibly present, yet you were there.
“The few times I was able to see Trudy, I had to pretend we were just casual acquaintances. The same with Sex Piston, Fat Louise, Killyama, and Crazy Bitch. We’d sneak around to hang out in a Lexington in hotel room. When I went back to Treepoint, and they returned to their families, do you think I was a blip on their radars?
“I love my brothers, but they have always had each other. My presence, or absence, has never made a difference in any of their lives, unlike you with Ton, Viper, and The Last Riders. Do you know why?”
“No.”
“Because I was never there. I’m expendable. If I disappeared off the face of the Earth, I would be missed, but never to the extent you were. I’m tired of being invisible, to only being there when it’s safe or if that person makes the effort, because I’m the one who initiated the contact. It’s painful to just take up space in their lives and not be a part of the whole picture. I refuse to deny Trudy being my sister any longer, and I’ll be damned if I have to pass my niece or nephew on the street and pretend I’m not their aunt. I need to be seen.”
As hard as she tried, she couldn’t prevent the tears from welling up in her eyes. “I just can’t do it anymore. Please try to understand, Gavin. As much as I love everyone in my life, I just can’t do it anymore. When I was singing with Mouth2Mouth, there wasn’t a night that I didn’t go out and think “Is someone going to recognize me? Will this be the moment Allerton finds me?” Every time I spoke with Hammer about contacting the FBI, he kept putting me off because I couldn’t remember what I had taken or where I put it. You just gave me the excuse to do what I needed to do.”
“Thanks,” he said snidely.
Gavin started unbuttoning the front of her dress, exposing the light-cream-colored bra she wore underneath.
“What are you doing?” Ginny asked before she sniffed hard to clear her stuffy nose, intent on not breaking down in tears after baring her soul.
“I’m about to show you that you’re not invisible.”
“I don’t want to have sex when you’re angry with me.” Ginny pulled the two parts of her dress back together to rebutton it. However, Gavin relentlessly lifted her and pulled it out from under her, leaving her in her bra and panties.
“Ginny, I’m so far beyond angry that it’s not even in the ballpark of what I’m feeling.”
“Then I definitely don’t want to have sex.”
“Good, I don’t either,” he said stonily.
If he didn’t want to have sex, then why was he removing her clothes? Realization dawned on her when Ginny felt the belt being removed from her foot. Not liking the expression on his face, self-preservation kicked in and she tried to wiggle out from underneath him.
“Nope, you have a lesson to learn, and you’re not getting off this bed until you learn it.”
Unwisely, Ginny gave him a haughty tilt of her head to jut her chin out at him. “I really don’t appreciate this caveman tactic.”
She was given a second of satisfaction when Gavin leveraged his body to the side—until she found herself face-planted in the mattress as he flipped her over.