She opened the box of pizza and tore the plastic covering off. “Would you rather I act like a gloomy Gus?”
Raising her eyes up to him, she saw Gavin fixated on the television set. “It was no big deal. Just act normal.”
She could either let it go and spare him further turmoil, or she could force him to confront the situation. Gavin had been tortured for years into complying with Slates demands. Did Killyama tell her everything she knew about Gavin’s capture? Did the ones responsible for rescuing him know the full sickening details of what he suffered? Coming to the conclusion she wasn’t going to fix the damage done to him in three days of having sex with her, if ever, she now understood that they were Gavin’s scars to heal, and much as she loved him only he could be the one who gauge when they no longer hurt.
Putting the pizza in the oven, she sat down on the couch with him, broaching the delicate subject despite her misgivings. “You sure you don’t want to talk—”
“No,” Gavin said harshly, tugging on his ear.
“Oh … okay.” Dropping the subject, she started watching the movie Gavin picked.
Five minutes into it, she realized she was freezing. Had Gavin turned the air conditioner down? Three minutes later, when she started shivering, she didn’t have to assume he had; she could practically see her breath in the chilly air.
Biting her lip, she wondered if he would get upset if she snuggled up to him. It was a couples thing to do, but she was unsure if he considered them a couple or just sexual partners. Regardless of what Gavin had gone through, she didn’t want him shutting her out anytime she accidently hit a raw nerve.
Confusion swamped her, and Ginny found she didn’t like it one bit not knowing if she any rights with him. After all, they were supposed to be married, weren’t they? That should give her snuggling privileges. Was she supposed to meekly allow him to call the shots where their relationship was concerned because it made him uncomfortable?
Hell no!
Picking her moment when the hero on the scene was battling a droid, Ginny inched over. Nothing got past Gavin, as he took his eyes off the movie. “How much longer before the pizza is done?”
Ginny drew back. “Ten minutes.”
Nodding, he turned back to the television.
A minute later, she got her courage back, inching back toward him.
His eyes shot around again. “What are you doing?”
“I’m cold.”
His eyes flickered down to her clothes. “Go put on more clothes.”
Hurt almost had her gasping out loud as the knife plunged deeper inside her heart.
“You could raise the temperature of the air conditioner.” Biting her lip at the quiver in her voice, Ginny remained seated.
“I’m hot.”
“I’m cold.” Her bottom lip began trembling. She wasn’t going to let Gavin run over her needs, as much as she loved the wild man. He had told her once they were both on the same street, heading in opposite directions. It was time for him to choose which one of them was going to change directions—and it isn’t going to be me, she told herself—despite every bone in her body wanting to give in to him.
Lifting a heavy arm, Gavin placed it across her shoulders, pulling her toward him.
Burrowing into his heat, Ginny snuggled against him. “Thank-you,” she sighed in relief.
“Watch the movie.”
Laying her head on his shoulder, she felt him stiffen. Ginny froze, realizing her mouth was too close to his throat. Still, they sat stiffly, watching the movie. Thankfully, Ginny heard the buzzer go off in the kitchen.
“The pizza is done.” Ginny started to get up, but Gavin beat her to it.
“Stay still. I’ll bring you a slice.”
Her attention wasn’t on the television, but she let him have his way, pretending an interest she didn’t feel as she heard the sounds coming from the kitchen.
“What would you like to drink?”
“I’ll take a glass of water.”
Gavin carried her water and pizza over, setting them down on the coffee table.
“Do you want me to wait until after you eat?”
“Yes,” he said, sitting back down but this time farther away from her.
“Do you have to be so obvious?” she asked pointedly.
“What?” he asked, his pizza poised halfway to his mouth.
“That you don’t want me near you.”
Gavin lowered his pizza back to the plate. Then, jerking himself to his feet, he bent down, scooped her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom, using his shoulder to close the door. He dumped her onto the bed.
“Is this what you want?” he snarled at her, throwing himself down on the bed after ripping his jeans off and using a foot to throw them halfway across the room. “Go ahead. Have at it.”
Thunderstruck, Ginny slowly rose to a sitting position, then slid off the bed. Bile was rising up her throat; she was afraid she was going to throw up.
“What? Isn’t this good enough for you? What in the fuck do you want?”
Ginny fell to her knees, bursting into tears. Unable to look at him, she covered her face with her hands. The sound of Gavin getting off the bed had her dropping her hands to crawl to the bathroom.
“Stop crying.”
Ginny found herself sitting on Gavin’s lap on the floor, sobbing into his shoulder, unable to stop crying.
“You humiliated both of us. Why did you do that?”
“Stop crying,” he slowly crooned, rocking her.
“Loving you should never feel like this,” she sobbed. “Why did you do that?”
“I was hurting, and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”
Lowering her hands, she was given a brief glimpse of Gavin’s suffering before he managed to erase it from his features. In hindsight, she had a better understanding why Trudy and Sex Piston doubted her staying power with Gavin.
She lovingly stroked down the side of his jaw just as she had the first day at the club. He’d been hurt and had struck out. That was what they had been trying to warn her about. They didn’t believe she was strong enough to deserve Gavin. She had to prove them wrong. Prove she was woman enough to deserve the gift of Gavin’s love.
“I’m okay. See? I’ve stopped crying.” She gently traced his bottom lip with her fingertip.
“It’s not fucking okay … I hurt you.”
“Gavin, being your soul mate doesn’t mean we’re only going to share in the joy. There’s pain too.”
Catching her hand, he held it still but didn’t move it away. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you. I knew you were still upset. I should have put on some warmer clothes.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I was the one being an ass. Ginny, there are things I don’t want to talk about that happened to me, not to you or anyone.”
“I shouldn’t have pushed … I was just trying to find out if ….”
“Find out what?” he asked patiently, stroking her back.
“If you consider us a couple? Or sex buddies? Do you even like me as a friend? Couples snuggle; friends don’t. I was just trying to find out which we are. I should have waited until you weren’t so upset about what happened earlier.”