“No…” I said, my stomach rolling. “You’ll kill him.”
Victor gave me a dead-eyed blink. Then he signed, “Move. Now. If you disrupt it again, I will reset the timer for five minutes. And I will not stop until it is done.”
Oh, God! Oh, God! How did this evening escalate to murder so damn quick?
When I didn’t move, Victor pulled out his phone to make good on his threat.
“Please!” Yaron said behind me. “You’re only making it worse.”
I could see that now. But I couldn’t just let Victor kill him.
“Wait! Wait, I’m not disrupting,” I yelled out. “I’m subbing in. I’m saying I’ll take Yaron’s five minutes. I’ll do whatever it takes for you not to kill him. He has a little girl. Please, you can’t do this. You can’t take away someone’s else father.”
Victor stills. I can hear Yaron behind me, his breathing ragged and wheezing. But other than that, there’s no sound in the room.
Then Victor tilted his head to both sides like a prizefighter. But then he signed two letters: “O” and “K.”
Okay…okay, we’re going to fight.
Fear ripples through me. I don’t think those hand full of kickboxing cardio classes I took at the gym had truly prepared me for this scenario.
But you know what? Math tests, ten-year marriage sentences, physical fights with Chinese gangsters….all I could do, all I could ever do, was my best.
I swallowed and raised both fists.
But instead of raising his own fists, Victor walked over to the couch and spread his legs wide.
“This is how we will spend our five minutes,” he said, leaning back.
Then he used a series of extremely graphic signs to tell me what to do next.
I froze. My face burned, and my legs wobbled like my body was deciding whether or not to faint while my mind scrambled to catch up.
“If you don’t want to honor my request, I am happy to resume the original fight,” Victor let me know. His smile was even more malicious than last year when he presented me with the wedding ring I’d hidden away in my nightstand drawer next to my back massager.
I glanced at Yaron, who was still swaying on his feet, then back to Victor.
“He will stay where he is,” Victor answered my unspoken question. “He must learn to.”
What he was asking…what he was commanding me to do was cruel. It was humiliating. Immoral was just one of the many terrible words to describe it. What he was doing broke all the rules of right and wrong that I’d been taught during college.
Consent… Female agency… personal autonomy… all the things I’d learned in college….they vaporized as he sat there before me, chin raised like a king waiting for his servant to do his bidding. Like fairytales based on legends that may or may not be true.
And that memory invaded again. Victor standing over a man his family members had maimed beyond all recognition…and emptying a gun into his destroyed body. Without a second of hesitation.
I glanced over my shoulder at Yaron, who had been so kind and helpful to me.
His biggest regret was that he hadn’t been more attentive to his girlfriend until she asked him to move out a couple of months ago. And now he was trying to prove he could be the boyfriend she deserved. The reason he hadn’t been at his post today when Victor arrived was because he’d gone out of his way to make it to her recital in Boston, even though he knew he’d be bored out of his mind.
He’d never, ever tell his ex-girlfriend that my adobo was better than hers, even after she dumped him. In fact, he liked this job because it held zero danger. And he’d been talking about moving them to Rhode Island and putting a down payment on a house. He’d told me that he could give them a whole house here in Providence for what a one-bedroom apartment costs in Beantown.
Yaron was a human being with hopes and dreams. And Victor gave zero fucks about that.
There were no rules when it came to this monster.
The opposite of love wasn’t hate; it was Victor.
And our so-called marriage? This first anniversary? It was about punishment. And only about punishment.
Somehow I’d forgotten that while playing my girlish game of Good As New. And trying to live my best life despite.
But I remembered now.
“I’ve reset the timer,” he informed from his seated position. “It’s now or never.”
All my hesitation time was up. Releasing a shaky breath, I got down on my knees, kneeling between the legs he’d spread wide. Victor watched me with those icy-cold, black eyes as I unbuckled his belt with trembling hands.
He liked that I was upset. Savored it like the fine wine he’d thrown away. I found him hard and ready when I pulled him out.
My throat went dry at the sight of him, remembering the first time I encountered him like this. His cock looked even bigger than I remembered. Long, thick, and pulsing.
“Show Ears who owns you,” he instructed above his cock.
Ears…that must have been the name sign he chosen for Yaron.
I hated him. I hated him so much. But I didn’t want Yaron getting hurt or worse because of me. His life wasn’t worth my pride.
Closing my eyes, I took Victor in my mouth. I began bobbing my head up and down energetically. The plan was to suck him off as quickly as possible to bring this ordeal to an end.
But he nested a hand in the back of my hair and forcibly pulled my head back.
“Eyes on me,” he signed one-handed. “Suck me slow while I watch you.”
His words were cruel. Not just because I knew he wanted to relish my humiliation. But also because they sent a new wave of heat through my body that had nothing to do with embarrassment.
This was supposed to be a perfunctory act—something I was doing under duress. But a weird, aching desire flooded my body at his command. It made my breasts feel heavier and my core squeeze on instinct.
I did as he said. Kept my eyes on him, slowed down my pace, and did my best to ignore what was happening inside my traitorous body.
Luckily it was a blow job. That meant I could turn my mind to other things. Like calling in sick tomorrow and day drinking until I passed out in front of Rap Star Wives. Sweet, sweet oblivion. Enough wine to make me forget this night ever happened.
But before I could get too far into that alternative fantasy, he signed. This time with both hands. “Masturbate. Make yourself come while you suck my cock.”
His signs were so mean and graphic, but another wave of heat rippled through me. The opposite of disgust. A puppet on his strings, I found my pussy underneath the band of my silk panties and started rubbing my fingers over my little button.
You think it would be hard to do both things at once, like rubbing your stomach and patting your head. But almost immediately, I found a natural rhythm. And soon, I began to whimper around his dick as I got closer.
He abruptly pulled my mouth off his cock just as I was about to arrive. At first, I thought maybe he was going to come all over my face like all those guys in porn videos. Which I really didn’t think I would enjoy, but okay.
Instead, he yanked me up and spun me around. And the next thing I knew, I was sitting in his lap. Facing Yaron directly.
Victor’s hands were underneath my skirt, pulling my panties aside…
He wouldn’t.