Still, the disappointment dogged me as I put the final touches on my presentation. And hollow loneliness set in when bedtime rolled around, and Victor still didn’t show up—just like I knew he wouldn’t.
It took me forever to fall asleep. And after I finally did, I tossed and turned and dreamed of terrible things I couldn’t remember the next morning when I woke up. Alone.
Still no Victor, so I didn’t bother with making us the kind of brunchy Sunday breakfasts I’d been going all out for over the last few weekends.
Again, this was for the best. I always got so nervous before speaking in public anyway. The last thing I wanted was pancakes and fruit compote coming up because I was trying to impress my monster of a husband with my breakfast-making skills.
I made myself some coffee, went over my notes one more time, and started setting up the presentation.
I positioned the projector and placed all the extra chairs I could find in the living room so people would have places to sit other than the floor.
I did a dry run of my presentation to make sure everything worked. It did. Still, my stomach was flip-flopping. I was trying my best not to miss Victor, but it was getting kind of hard.
He’d been weirdly good at reassuring me when I started fretting about whether I’d ever get Love Origins to where I wanted it in time for the presentation. Also, he’d brought me tea and snacks whenever I had to stay up late to get some class assignment or my part in a group project done on time.
And you know what feels really great when you’re bleary-eyed at two in the morning and seriously questioning your decision to become an animator in the first place? Tea and snacks.
But we were just pretending to be a real couple. I reminded myself that for the umpteenth time since he ditched my ass at the front gate. Me depending on him for emotional support was not how our relationship worked. And we could pretend all we wanted to. But when things got real, he disappeared. I needed to remember that. At least until May 26th.
My secret phone rang in my tote just as I was wondering if it was too early to put out the Costco trays of veggies and fruit to go along with the pizzas I had ordered.
See? Another good reason I should be glad Victor wasn’t here. He was the last person I wanted to know about my secret phone. And if someone had called while he was here, I would’ve had some explaining to do.
I pulled out the phone and frowned when I saw the name on the caller ID. Not Byron or mom, but someone who had never actually called me directly before, even when he wasn’t working.
“Dad, is everything okay?” I asked as soon as I picked up.
“Everything’s more than okay, sweet pea,” he answered with a wry laugh. “I’m calling with some good news. Your mom and I are moving to Virginia—near the D.C. area. I decided to transfer to a desk job at the DEA.”
I blinked, a little stunned. Not just because dad had essentially said that he was moving back to the East Coast. But also because I hadn’t actually known which international anti-crime organization he worked for. Apparently, it was the Drug Enforcement Administration. That explained a lot.
“That’s great news,” I said, recovering. “When will you guys be moving?”
“Actually. That was what I was calling to talk with you about. I’m moving us East next month, and I was hoping maybe you could come down.”
“I would… love that,” I answered, genuinely shocked at the invitation. “I’ll come for a visit after my thesis presentation. And maybe in June, you and mom can come up for my graduation from RhIDS.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Dad said with another wry chuckle. “You made up for a lot when you came down to sit with Doll before her surgery. Maybe she can swallow her pride now and watch you graduate from that art school. Good strategy.”
“Dad, that’s not why I came down.” Irritation made me grip the phone a little tighter. “You left her all alone in Texas. I was genuinely worried about her.”
“I know, I know, sweet pea. And believe me, I’m grateful. That surgery went off without a hitch. But I wouldn’t have ever forgiven myself if anything had gone wrong.” He cleared his throat. “I love your mama with all my heart. You too. You know that’s why I’m moving us back East, right? To help her and be closer to you.”
I lowered my chin, a little weirded out by my father’s emotional statement. We had never been the kind of family that said I love you all the time. It was always just assumed. “Dad, I love you too. But is everything all right?”
“Everything’s better than all right,” he assured me again. “Actually, I was hoping maybe you could come down a little earlier than June. Thing is, the Attorney General’s giving me a lifetime achievement award at this year’s International Law Enforcement Gala. It’s a little embarrassing. I keep on telling them I’m not all the way through my lifetime yet. I’m not even retiring for real. But they say I deserve it, so I guess I have to get all gussied up and go on ahead and accept this award for my service.”
I laugh at his self-deprecation. “Dad, that’s great! Wow! I’m so proud of you!”
“The thing is, your mama has some stuff she has to take care of in Texas. So she won’t be able to join me until June herself. But the ceremony’s in late May. Your brother is coming down for it, and I thought maybe you could too. You free on May 25th?”
I winced. “I’m so sorry, dad. That’s my big thesis showcase. If it were any day, but that day, I’d totally be there. I wouldn’t miss you getting this award for anything. But if I don’t present my thesis, then I won’t be able to graduate with my MFA.”
“You can’t get out of it? Maybe switch dates with somebody else?” My dad sounded legit disappointed.
“No, I can’t. Jacoby Pirelli, the head of the program, said absolutely no switches allowed.”
“Even if your dad is receiving a once-in-a-lifetime award?”
Guilt crashed over me in waves because I couldn’t even tell my dad the worst part. I’d used family as an excuse to get out of so many May 25th events. Jacoby wouldn’t even believe me if I tried to tell him that my former undercover agent dad was receiving a huge award. I was basically the grad student who called wolf.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” I said again, truly meaning it. “Jacoby’s a total hard-ass. He told us at the beginning of the year that there was no getting out of our presentation date, no matter what.”
Dad audibly sighed. “Well, I guess Byron’s better than no family at all.”
The mention of Byron made a new suspicion fire off in my head. Byron had been so worried about Dad discovering he was bi in Japan. But when Dad found out years later, he’d taken it unbelievably well. I’d assumed when Byron told me that we’d both underestimated him.
But now, I had to wonder if maybe his easy acceptance had come with time. Like, way more time than we’d initially thought.
The question needled at me. To the point that I had to risk our newfound peace to ask, “Dad? When Byron and I were in high school, did you…”
I trailed off when the doorbell rang. “I have to go. I’m hosting this grad school thing, and the pizzas just got here.”
“All right, if you change your mind about the ceremony, let me know,” Dad said.