He didn’t know if this unnatural desire was a result of Seta Zul’s will, or of the divine blood that formed the seal over his salavik—or if it truly was inspired solely by the alien pheromones of his drahi. He did know that it wasn’t enough to erase all the obstacles that stood between them. There had to be more for their mating to be successful. More than the promise of passion that only existed between a drahi and her mate.
When a flick of his tongue caught the flavor of Farona’s light, familiar scent, his tension eased. He turned to see her approaching the pavilion along the walkway. Her tail swayed behind her with her happiness as she sped her graceful steps to reach him faster, never quite breaking into a run that would disrupt the others walking along the suspended path of the lattice, yet still moving quick enough that she was joining him within a handful of breaths.
She sank onto the bench beside him, her eyes bright as she looked up into his face. “I heard about your battle with Kevos. You put on quite a show that pleased the crowd.”
Jotaha shrugged one shoulder. “He will be out of the healing pavilion by the end of the cycle.” He lifted his crock to take a long swig of his jetaak, made of fermented beach-grass seeds.
Farona snorted delicately in amusement. “I’m sure he regretted disrespecting you. Ane-ata was beside herself with upset at the condition you left him in.”
“Ane-ata is often beside herself with upset. It is one reason Kevos finds her so tiresome.” He smirked, his head spines vibrating as he met Farona’s eyes. “I hope she is visiting him now, and driving him mad with her endless fussing.”
“I did suggest to her that he would appreciate her company during his recovery.” Farona’s eyes gleamed as they met his.
He huffed with amusement. “You are wicked.”
Her head spines lifted. “Kevos offended you. He should have to pay a higher price than a defeat in the arena.”
Jotaha huffed again. “He is paying a higher price. I’m sure Ane-ata took your suggestion to heart.”
Farona’s expression lightened again, her gaze fixed on his face. “So, how is your nixir? I am surprised you have not returned to check on her.”
“Her name is Sarah,” Jotaha said flatly.
Farona looked away, her head bowing in apology. “I meant no offense, my beloved. I will refer to her by her name from now on.”
Jotaha sighed, his shoulders curving towards the table as if heavy weights had suddenly been added to his back. “Farona… you cannot call me that anymore.”
A long silence fell between them. He felt her gaze studying his face, though he kept his eyes on his now-empty crock.
“You don’t have to mate her, Ha-tah,” she said in a soft voice. “Seta Zul’s priest will remove her seal if you cannot bear the thought of taking this nixir as your drahi.”
He had considered it. The chasm between his world and Sarah’s was far greater than the size of the urvaka. While they were isolated in the caves, he could pretend everything would be okay, and that she could integrate easily into his society and become like another yan-kanat—albeit a strange-looking one. His first doubts had come when he encountered Kevos in the barrens and realized that not all of his people would be so eager to have Sarah living amongst them.
Almost losing her to the parasites that had infested her stomach made him realize how important she already was to him. The thought of sending her away—likely to a larger skilev like Bal Goro, because the elders would never let her return to Gaia to spread news of their lands to the other nixirs—made him more anxious than he had ever been before any dangerous battle. There were some nixirs in Bal Goro—a small enclave of them—but they were not from the same region of Gaia as Sarah. She might not feel any more at home among them than she did among the citizens of Draku Rin. Nixir cultures and languages were vastly varied, which was probably why they warred among their own kind so often.
Yes, he had considered having the seal removed, despite the consequences, but had to reject that idea. He couldn’t let Sarah go. He knew he would only end up following her, seal or no seal.
Farona sat silently, watching him as if she could read his thoughts in his expression. She knew him better than anyone in Draku Rin. If he was revealing his inner turmoil, she would understand it.
“I would be dishonored. Unable to sire nestlings. I would have to plead to Seta Zul to forgive me, and make a sacrifice to her simply to earn back any of her favor. That pilgrimage alone would take many cycles.” He shook his head, his head spines flattening. “I would return broken, impoverished, and forever infertile.”
Farona gripped his arm, her slender, long fingers settling on his bicep. “I would still love you! You will always have me, Ha-tah!” Her hold tightened as she pulled herself closer to him on the bench. “I don’t care if I can never have nestlings with you. You belong to me.”
Jotaha gently dislodged her hand, setting it on the table and settling his own over it for the briefest of moments. Her hand was cool beneath his palm. As cool as his own. Her scales were smooth, small, shiny—and familiar. Her scent reminded him of many warm seasons spent walking along the beach, searching for kivan shells together as they planned their future home.
None of that was enough to chase away the memories of hot, soft nixir skin warming his scales, or that teasing, otherworldly scent filling his head, or the flash of alien eyes brightened by the dangerous fire that seemed to burn inside all nixirs.
He pulled his hand away from Farona’s, wrapping it back around his crock to lift it up in a signal to the brewer to refill his drink. “I regret the outcome of my sealing, Farona. I regret that it is hurting you.” He fell silent as the brewer arrived at their table with a warm clay jug to pour another round for him.
Farona rejected his offer of a drink, her gaze never leaving his face, her eyes shadowed with her pain as she sensed his rejection.
When the brewer left, he kept his gaze fixed on the pale green liquid in his crock. “Seta Zul chose Sarah to be my drahi for a reason. One that is incomprehensible to us mortals, but she is a goddess and can see far beyond our narrow view.” He glanced her way only briefly, then looked away again, unable to face the growing pain he saw on her face. “I want to be with Sarah, Farona. I cannot think of being with anyone other than her, now that I have been marked.”
He heard her choked gasp. Knew it meant she was biting back tears. He wanted to be anywhere else in that moment, but knew that standing up to leave would only hurt her feelings more. He took a heavy swig of his drink without looking her way, giving her time to compose herself.
She drew her hand from the table, lower it to grasp her other hand in her lap to twist them together. “I only want you to be happy, Ha-tah. If this is your decision, then I will honor it. It will hurt. I cannot lie to you, my… old friend, but I will welcome your… Sarah to Draku Rin as a friend. She will need them among us, I suspect. You know that Kevos is not the only one who will defy Seta Zul’s will because of hatred for the nixirs.”
His shoulders slumped as all the tension left his body, gratitude for Farona’s understanding and kindness filling him with relief. Her commitment meant that other females would also accept Sarah more readily into their circle. That would help with integrating her into yan-kanat society.