"If you wanted to fool around again, all you had to do was ask." One of his hands drifted to my ass.
"What? Rory!" I pushed on his chest to make him step back. "We're just friends. Oh my God, you just made this incredibly weird!" I picked up the soap and began to lather up my breasts, cleaning off where he had touched me.
"I made it weird?" he asked as he watched me.
"Yes! And stop staring at me! What are you doing?! Get out!"
He ran his hand through his wet hair. "Wow, I really misread the situation. I just thought when you touched my..."
"Get out, Rory!" I yelled, cutting him off.
He stepped out of the shower and closed the curtain. A second later I heard the door close. I sighed and leaned against the cold tile wall. I was so close to having him again. If I had wanted to, I could have let him fuck me in the shower. But I didn't want to just fool around with him. I wanted more. I needed more.
Shit, I'm falling for him. Screw the article. I needed to talk to him. I quickly turned the water off and wrapped a towel around myself. "Rory?" I called when I went out into the hallway. When he didn't answer, I knocked on his door. "Rory? I need to talk to you." I was greeted by silence. "Come on, Rory. I'm sorry about the shower." This is ridiculous. I opened up his door, but he wasn't there. Damn it!
I closed his door, walked back into my room, and sat down at my desk. I may have been falling for him, but he wasn't falling for me. I opened up my laptop and began writing as fast as I could. Everything just came pouring out. I wrote about how I had fallen for my gorgeous, unobtainable roommate. I wrote about how I couldn't stop thinking about him, and about how living with him was unbearable. I even wrote about our one night stand that didn't feel at all like a one night stand to me.
The more I thought about him, the more I realized how much more this was to me than a one night stand. It wasn't the game, or the chase, it was him. Despite what Emily thought, he was perfect for me. I looked down at article I had just written.
I wanted to learn how to play with a player. I came up with the idea to write about my experience, with all the juicy details, so that every woman out there could do the same. This new norm of one night stands is completely horrendous and unacceptable. What happened to gentleman callers and flowers? We all want more. And I wanted to fix it. But I'm not sure I'm the right person for the job anymore. Because I'm falling for the guy I thought I could play.
A few weeks ago, I put an ad in the paper looking for a new roommate. That's when Rory showed up. Rory is the kind of guy that you crush on from a distance but have never actually talked to. You know, the one with the perfect amount of scruff on his perfect face, with abs that you only see on movie stars, and a smile that makes your knees weak. Trust me, I've tripped over my own feet quite a few times around him.
But since he was my roommate, we had to talk. Which may have been worse than admiring him from a distance because I'm so awkward when I have a crush. I ramble and say stupid stuff I don't mean. Somehow we agreed to just be friends in this weird, twisted roommate pact, which I actually wanted nothing to do with. So I started acting even more awkward. Listening to his bed squeaking with different women screaming his name every night made me physically sick. I couldn't handle it. I completely hated that he was a player. Because I wanted him to want me, and only me.
But I knew that was impossible. He barely even noticed me. So my brilliant idea? I asked him for advice on how to have a one night stand. And then I pathetically followed his advice and used it on him. Never in a million years would I normally do something like that. I've only ever had sex with my boyfriends. With Rory though, I'd take what I could get. So I experienced my first one night stand. Despite the label, it wasn't a one night stand to me. A better label probably would have been "best sex of my life" or "best night of my life". I was completely and utterly hooked. All I wanted was more. And now all I can think about is more. So I failed my assignment. I can't play with a player because I've been completely played.
I'm falling for a guy who just wants to be my friend. So I have to listen to his bed squeak and other women scream his name. I have to sit next to him on the couch and pretend everything is fine. And I have to watch the guy I'm falling for eventually fall for someone else.
The article was basically just me saying that I was an awkward failure. But I didn't want to write about this now anyway. Not when I knew that I was falling for Rory. I pressed send before I could change my mind. Hopefully Judy would just reject it and I could move onto writing something else. I got up and went into the kitchen. I had been writing for hours, and it was almost dark. If Rory had gone to work, he would have been back by now. He was definitely avoiding me. I walked back into my room and slammed the door. The thought of eating made me feel nauseous. None of this was fun anymore. Any thought I had of it being a game had disappeared. I laid my head down on my desk and started to cry.
My computer dinging, signaling I had a new email, pulled me out of my pity party. It was from Judy.
"What the hell was that? I said sexy, not sappy and boring. There was nothing about how to play with a player. Talk about what you've done. Do lists. Lists are hot right now. I've already pitched the idea to the top. Don't screw me on this."
-J
I laid my head back down on my desk. Fuck me.
Chapter 21
Rory never came home last night. I considered calling Emily and asking her what I should do, but that would involve confessing that I had taken her husband's advice instead of her own. She'd be so disappointed with me.
Rory's feelings wouldn't be hurt by this. He was playing me too. I bit my lip. He wasn't. He had warned me that a one night stand wasn't what I wanted. But I kept pushing him until he finally had sex with me. He had been trying to look out for me.
With each minute he didn't come home, the more I realized that none of this mattered. He had probably slept with another woman last night. He might even be fucking her again right now. He didn't want me. Screw this. I'd mix some lies in with the truth and use a different name. He'd never know it was him. I began typing furiously. I wrote down a list of things I had done to lead him on, trying to compile a step by step guide on how to play a player. After a lot of brainstorming I came up with five solid steps: give him a taste, remain unattached, flip the switch, turn up the heat, and make him jealous.
Step one was "Give Him a Taste." I described playing along with Rory's idea of a one night stand. Writing about it was actually fun. Just thinking about his lips pressed against mine sent a chill down my spine. I emailed my new article over to Judy along with the list of steps, presenting the idea that each part of the series would be a different step. This time I was confident that it was exactly what she wanted.
By the time I was done, it was almost 5 o'clock. Poker night was tonight, and even though Rory was avoiding me, I was hoping he'd at least be home for that. Which meant I needed to get ready fast.
***
I finished applying my mascara and looked in the mirror. My tight, lacy, crop top looked perfect with my super short skirt. I grabbed a necklace and put it on. It hung right between my breasts. Everything about this outfit screamed "whore." Fortunately I didn't actually have a date.