Sylvia shook her head. “No. I don’t think that is possible. I don’t even think it would be advisable.”
“Not advisable?” Now he was truly puzzled. “Why wouldn’t it be advisable to make amends with the girl I used to love and who a part of me still might love? You wish me to marry someone with good connections, and she has better ones than Miss Rutherford.”
He watched as his mother hesitated, clearly having something to say but troubled for some reason. He gave her a moment, and then saw her come to a decision. The pursing of her lips before she began to speak, hinted she believed he would not like what she had to say.
“Walter, you have never paid any attention to gossip, and I don’t think you have ever understood how gossip works. Men in general do not seem to pay as much mind to such things, but it does not even seem to enter your mind.”
“What are you getting at, Mother?” he asked, wanting her to get to the point.
“Do you have any clue as to what rumors you started when you left so suddenly and at such a time?”
Walter shifted in his seat, slightly uncomfortable with the topic, which was doing nothing but increase his sense of guilt. Still, he replied, “I imagine it was believed Georgiana and I had some sort of a disagreement…”
“Yes. But gossip never stops there; gossip is almost like a living thing that feels the need to poke and pry and guess at anything that isn’t known. In this case, there was much gossip as to what could have caused so great a rift between you.”
She paused to make sure he was still paying attention before she continued, “I will not bore you with all the various conjectures but, suffice it to say, one of the idle speculations was that you discovered that Georgiana … that she was not pure, and that you left in disgust.”
Walter felt his eyes widen in shock and felt a sickening feeling in his stomach, but his mother had not finished. “Another had you as the offender, saying you must have left after having got what you wanted from her. The fact she all but fled to her uncle’s country estate—no doubt due to her broken heart—did nothing to help matters. In fact, the crassest of the gossip suggested she was deliberately hiding away to cover up … an obvious sign of her loose morals.”
He felt his mouth open and close several times while his mother spoke, the sickening feeling in his stomach only growing. Such thoughts had never entered his mind, and to have them stated so bluntly…
“Were such things really said about her?” he asked with a hoarse voice.
“Yes. In France, you would not have heard of any of it. But, here, she no doubt caught bits and pieces of it, no matter how hard the earl and countess tried to shield her from it. More than that, she must know from what you said to her today that it was all your doing. Do you truly think she will accept you, even as an acquaintance, after that?”
Walter felt the pain sharpened by the full weight of the anguish his actions had caused Georgiana. How could he have been so selfish? What must Georgiana have felt, with all those horrible rumors going around? And having her heart broken by him on top of it all?
His mother was probably right. It was no wonder Georgiana wanted to be away from him. However, there was something more his mother had hinted at which he felt the need to know.
“You … you mentioned something else a moment ago…” He paused, not entirely certain he even wanted to know, but it was best to have the worst of it over with. “What did you mean when you said it might not be advisable for me to pursue Georgiana?”
“It is simple. If you were to pursue her again after what has already happened, there would be some gossip about the marriage and the reasons behind it. I don’t consider it would be any real objection, but it is something which would not occur if you wedded another young lady.”
“But wouldn’t me marrying someone else confirm the rumors about Georgiana?”
“Perhaps,” Sylvia admitted. “But, if you can manage to prove you are friends, or even acquaintances, by talking with her every now and then at events, it should help to set those rumors to rest.”
“And you truly think Georgiana will never forgive me for what I did?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.
“My dear boy… all things considered, I am impressed her aunt even allowed either of us to attend her tea party. The only reason I can see that we are being allowed anywhere near her is because her aunt and uncle understand such avoidance would draw attention.”
“I … I want to try to apologize. I owe her that much. I owe her so much more than that … I was so surprised by the knowledge that … well, I was mistaken, and I don’t believe I gave her a proper apology.”
“She may not want to speak with you again long enough to let you apologize,” Sylvia warned.
“I know. But I must still try.”
“Very well. And then what?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, then, seeing his mother’s expression, realizing what she was referring to. He sighed as he replied, “I don’t know…”
“You are a handsome gentleman, and it is obvious Clarissa is interested in you.”
“Mostly because I am one of the only barons who is both wealthy, single, and not too much older than she is,” he said, voicing for the first time the impression he had of her.
“I think you misjudge her,” was the quick reply, as his mother reached for one of his hands and squeezed it. “I think you should at least give Clarissa a chance. She really is a sweet girl. You seem to forget, many marriages are made for comfort rather than for love, but that doesn’t mean those marriages are at all unhappy. I truly think you and Miss Rutherford could be happy together if you gave it a chance.”
Walter felt doubtful but did not feel up to objecting. Part of him felt what she had pointed out was true. He had to admit he felt he could be content with Miss Rutherford. Or, at least, he could have been content with her—if it were not for Georgiana…
It took several minutes before he noticed his mother was waiting for him to say something. There was little doubt in his mind as to what it was, and he was mildly surprised she didn’t voice her question aloud.
“Just give me a little time. I will try to apologize to Georgiana at the first opportunity. After that … I will continue to pay attention to Miss Rutherford. In the meantime, I will use the excuse of business for my not calling on her.”
Seeing the moderate satisfaction at his reply, the carriage was then silent once again. Not a word more was spoken, even when they arrived home and he assisted his mother out of the carriage.
“I will be going out again in a little while, to a small dinner with a friend. I will not ask you to come, but I will be using the carriage.”