***
After the confrontation with Walter, Georgiana found she had a hard time concentrating on the opera performance as it began. She had not expected to see him here, and to have him approach so suddenly had caught her completely by surprise.
As the performance continued, she felt a slight sensation of guilt. He had been trying to apologize, but, at that moment, she had wanted to hear no part of it.
True, Ambrose had looked at her approvingly once they were out of sight, even whispering to her that she had responded splendidly, but she had perhaps behaved a little too coldly towards him.
Would it really have been so bad to just let him apologize? I could have told him that I forgive him but that I don’t want to see him again. If I don’t let him apologize, he is stubborn enough to persist, which means he will carry on trying to confront me…
She was tempted to ask Ambrose about it, but the knowledge there were others around them who would not appreciate a whispered conversation prevented her from doing so. She could tell he noticed her preoccupation, because he reached over and held her hand for the remainder of the opera.
Georgiana felt some of the tension in her ease at the friendly gesture, and she was then able to focus on the performance. Then, near the end of the play, when the women so quickly forgave their men for tricking them, she felt a tug on her heart. Somehow it made her think of Walter.
“How are you?” was the first thing Ambrose asked the moment it was over.
“Hmm … I was just thinking…”
“I hope it wasn’t about Baron Bartlett. He is not worth so much of your thoughts.”
Slowly she stood up from where she had been sitting, and admitted, “Actually, I was. I was thinking that, perhaps, I should have let him apologize earlier. Now he will no doubt try again some other time.”
“I understand that…” he reluctantly admitted, as he began to walk with her out of the theater. “However, I really don’t think you should let him apologize. He is only doing it to make himself feel better. It is not as if his apology is going to help you in any way. He will give up eventually.”
She considered this point of view while they walked, and Ambrose seemed content to let her think without pressing the issue. He had raised a good point … it was Walter’s fault for believing a false rumor in the first place.
Still, she still felt she probably would let him apologize the next time he tried to do so. Even though he was completely to blame, there would then be less tension between them.
As they neared the Irvington carriage, she spotted Walter talking pleasantly with Clarissa. Seeing him bow and smile at Miss Rutherford sent a pang through Georgiana. A pang which she was shocked to recognize as jealousy.
Why should I be jealous to see him with someone else? It is not as though there is any way I would accept him back after all he has put me through…
Her thoughts were interrupted when Ambrose caught her attention to help her inside the carriage. However, the moment they were settled in and the carriage started to move, she found herself merely sitting in stunned silence.
Going back in her thoughts to the times when she had seen him, she was forced to acknowledge, while the main feeling had been pain, there had also been an element of jealousy each time she had seen him with Clarissa.
It was ridiculous! Even if she did forgive him, he was obviously no longer interested in her. There was no chance of them ever being what they had once used to be to each other. So, she must simply ignore the feeling…
Chapter 19
Georgiana sighed the next day, as she took a seat to allow Lucy to style her hair for the evening. Normally, she would be ready by now, but that day was a special occasion. Her second cousin, Lady Jane, was having her coming out ball.
Though not related to her by blood, she was related to her through her aunt Adelaide. Adelaide’s cousin was the Marchioness of Dalwater, and Jane was her daughter, which made her a rather distant relative, but a relative, nevertheless.
Georgiana had only met her once or twice, and recalled she had been pleasant enough, though they had little in common. Still, it was an important occasion, which required more dressing up than usual, which was why getting prepared to attend the ball was taking an exceptionally long time that day.
“I should be done soon, Miss Georgiana,” Lucy said, startling her out of her thoughts.
“I’m sorry. I am not doing well at sitting still today, am I?”
“Not really, but I think that is to be expected.”
She scoffed. “From what I recall of Lady Jane, she could no doubt sit still for twice as long without fidgeting. I doubt she is even nervous at all.”
“And what about you? Are you worried about the possibility of seeing Lord Bartlett there?”
After thinking about it for a moment, she shook her head, freezing when she heard a gasp from Lucy, who was still working on her hair. “Sorry! I forgot for a moment … never mind. In answer to your question, no, I am not really worried about it. I can’t say I am looking forward to it, but it is something I know I must expect.”
She saw Lucy nod as they both lapsed into silence. A few minutes later, Lucy stepped back with an approving nod and said, “There, I am done, and just in time, too, since I am sure it is close to time for you to leave.”
“I think you are right,” Georgiana replied as she stood. Heading out of her room and down the stairs, she saw her uncle Jonas and Ambrose at the door waiting.
“Ah, good, we are ready to go,” Georgiana heard a voice behind her say. Turning, she saw her aunt heading in the same direction.
“Yes, I thought you would want to leave early,” Jonas replied, as they went out of the door and towards the carriage. “Dalwater Manor is some distance away, and we don’t know what delays there might be.”
“Well, you were right,” Adelaide replied with a smile at her husband.
Soon, they were in the carriage and on their way, the ride taking them almost two hours. There was not a lot of conversation in the carriage during the journey, but what little there was consisted of light topics, such as the last time they had seen the marquess and marchioness.
As soon as they arrived at the house, they were escorted to the drawing room, where a few of the other guests were already mingling. Georgiana was not surprised to see Jane looking completely at ease with all the attention on her. She looked as though she was quite enjoying it.
Georgiana still took her moment to talk to Jane as soon as she could. “Well, if you were anyone else, I would be telling you not to be nervous, but I know you have no need of such advice.”
“Of course not. I have been looking forward to this for far too long. I am just glad to finally be making my debut. My younger sisters must wait their turn for such attention.”