“Good morning,” Filly said with a grin.
Emma’s hands went to her chest and then down her arms. “I’m dressed,” she said.
“Yep, you sure are. You kids fall asleep listening to music?” Filly carried the plate over to the bar.
“We must have,” Emma said.
“I knew that fancy phone Josh got you would be just the thing. Thought you might like some of my blueberry scones for breakfast,” Filly said. “I’ll leave y’all to them. Got another plateful out on the table that I’m sharing with Arty this morning.”
“Thank you.” Josh sat up on the end of the sofa and fumbled around on the floor for his glasses. When he put them on, he slowly scanned the room. “I thought I was dreaming.”
Filly giggled and waved as she stepped outside.
Emma turned around to face him. “What happened?”
“We fell asleep. I don’t remember us stretching out together, but we must have gotten comfortable sometime in the early hours of the morning,” he answered. “Are you mad at me?”
“Why would I be angry?” She crossed the room and started to make a pot of coffee. “You kept me from falling off the sofa. Come on over here and have some scones with me. Want a glass of milk to go with them?”
“Love one.” He was so relieved that she wasn’t angry with him or uncomfortable that he crossed the short distance from sofa to the bar and sat on one of the barstools. “I didn’t intend to stay the whole night.”
“I liked having you here.” She set two mugs on the bar and then rounded the end to sit down beside him. “I slept really well, even if we were sharing the sofa. Now, what were we talking about when we fell asleep?” she asked.
“Music,” he answered.
“That’s right.” She nodded. “We were discussing how the songs on the playlist seemed to fit my situation.”
“Kenny Chesney and David Lee Murphy singing ‘Everything’s Gonna Be Alright.’” He grinned. “It will be, you know. You’re going to be fine, Em, I promise. Sophie’s lawyer will take care of your financial stuff, and even if you have to go to court and lose the case, you can make money on your own selling your art.”
“I hope I can live by my own wits. We heard a Rascal Flatts song last night that kind of fits my situation. It talks about a broken road that led me to this place in my life. Looking back at all the bad things—like when Mother fired Rebel, the rape, and the repressed memories—I’m glad that I’m right here today, Josh. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my whole life.”
What if this is all you ever get? the voice in Josh’s head asked. She’s experienced trauma in ways that she has to fix on her own. You can be here to help her if she needs to talk, but there are things you can’t fix.
I would if I could, Josh thought as he picked up a scone and bit it. The buttery layers and bits of blueberries tasted sweet in his mouth. Sweet like Emma had been to make him feel less awkward about staying over. He wanted her to be more than a friend, but he didn’t have any experience with women, and what she’d had with men was downright horrible.
Just be yourself, and spend time with her. His grandpa’s voice was clear in his head.
“Hey,” he said, “I’m taking my four-wheeler out this morning. Want to go with me?”
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“I thought I’d ride out to the base of the mountain for some inspiration on what to do next. We’ve got to work on some pieces for both Leo and Sophie now.”
“I’d love to,” Emma said, but she had doubts. Could she really crawl on the four-wheeler behind him? She had cuddled up next to him on the sofa, her back against his chest, but she didn’t remember how they’d gotten in that position. Her mother would have a fit if she knew that she’d slept with Josh or that she was going out into the desert with him on a four-wheeler. Even though he had money, he would never be good enough for a Merrill daughter, not even an unloved one.
Whoa! she thought. It’s not Mother’s business what I do anymore. I have to get past thinking like that.
And the dependence on Sophie? Victoria’s whispers were so icy that they gave her a chill even though the woman wasn’t there.
“Great,” he said. “I’m going home to get my supplies ready. I’ll make us sandwiches in case we want to stay out past lunchtime. Be back in an hour.” He disappeared out the door, and Emma reached for the cordless phone.
“I realize I’m depending on Sophie, but I need advice.” Emma poked in the number for Sophie, and then she hung up.
She paced the floor for five minutes. “I can’t do this on my own today. I need help,” she declared.
“Admitting that you need help is part of the healing process,” Nancy had said in a session. “Let me help you remember what you have locked away, Emma. Tell me why you left college and never went back. What happened to you there? It’s all right to talk about it and to ask for help when you are overwhelmed.”
She carried the phone over to the refrigerator, where Sophie had written down the phone numbers for Filly, Arty, Josh, Rebel, and herself. She started to call Sophie again, and then remembered that she would probably be getting things ready for her next showing. She should be thinking about that, not giving Emma dating advice. She was still thinking about calling Sophie when the phone rang. The noise startled her so badly that she dropped the receiver on the floor and had to scramble to pick it up. She finally answered on the fourth ring.
“Good morning again, Em. I wanted to tell you that I didn’t mean to embarrass you kids this morning,” Filly said.
“Lord, I’m glad you called,” Emma said.
“Honey, I’m not the Lord, but what’s going on?” Filly giggled.
“I just need to talk to someone. I’ve got all these strange feelings and . . .” She sucked in a lungful of air.
“I’ll be over there in two minutes,” Filly said, and the line went silent.
“Thank you,” Emma said with relief and went to the door to watch for Filly. Sure enough, in a few seconds, she came out of her trailer. Her bare feet peeked out from under her flowing skirt as she hurried across the yard. When she was on the porch, Emma threw the door open.
The first thing Filly did was stop and hug her tightly. Then she took her by the hand and led her to the sofa and pulled her down beside her. “I’m here, honey. Tell me what’s happened.”
“I thought when I remembered what happened in college, it would all be over, and I would be a whole person again, but here I am needing help.”
Filly patted her on the arm. “We all need help. Talk to me.”
“I like Josh, but I’m afraid to like him,” Emma said.
“Why? He’s a good man, independent, solid, upstanding,” Filly said. “I could go on and on, but you know him, Em, so what’s the problem?”
“It’s not Josh, it’s me,” Emma whispered.
Filly slipped an arm around Emma’s shoulders and hugged her. “You are a good woman. You and Josh have a lot in common, and you—”
“I have stuff in my past.” She frowned. The nightmares had brought out the story to Sophie, and Emma had told Josh because she wanted him to understand her issues.