I tucked a leg under me. “Wow, who’s watching all of them?”
Kristen snorted. “Jason’s mom. The woman’s a saint.” She put her drink on the coffee table and leaned in. “Okay, you have to tell me. How’s the penis? Is it big?”
Sloan groaned and sat back in her chair. “Oh God, the penis thing again.”
I looked back and forth between them. “What? What’s the penis thing?”
Sloan shook her head at her best friend. “They’re just friends. She hasn’t seen it. Leave her alone.”
I put up a hand. “Uh, no, wait, I’m here for this. What’s the penis thing?”
“She’s here for it, Sloan. Stay out of it.” Kristen smiled, sitting on the edge of the sofa.
Sloan rolled her eyes at her.
“Josh has this enormous penis and I have a theory it’s hereditary,” Kristen said.
My eyes darted to Adrian across the room. “Really?” I whispered.
Kristen nodded. “Yup.” Then she made a space between her hands to show me, and Sloan started choking on her drink.
Sloan shook her head at her best friend, coughing. “This is so not appropriate.”
Kristen blinked at her. “This is important research, Sloan.”
I nodded quickly. “I agree, further study is needed.”
Kristen laughed, and Sloan looked slightly horrified. I got the feeling flustering Sloan was one of Kristen’s hobbies. She seemed very good at it.
I sat back against the sofa. “I would love to explore the possibility of Adrian’s magic peen. But unfortunately he’s not into me.”
Kristen and Sloan shared a look.
I glanced back and forth between them. “What?”
Kristen leveled her eyes on me. “I don’t know what he tells you, but that dude’s whipped.”
Sloan was giving me a slow, wide-eyed nod.
I scrunched my forehead. “What? No.”
Kristen looked up over me. “He’s literally staring at the back of your head right now. He’s been staring at you all night.”
I looked sideways, but I didn’t turn around. “Is it like he’s watching a tennis match?” I whispered. “Like, his head goes this way and that way watching me walk around?”
Sloan nodded. “It’s exactly like he’s watching a tennis match. That’s really accurate, actually.”
“He talked about you for thirty minutes straight on the phone with Josh when he called to ask us to come,” Kristen said. “Josh hung up and was all ‘Daaaaamn, I’ve never seen him like that.’”
My heart fluttered a little. And then it remembered it had no reason to.
I let out a sigh. “I really don’t think he’s interested.”
Sloan drew her eyebrows together. “Why?”
Impending death?
“My lifestyle isn’t conducive to relationships,” I said instead.
Kristen nodded. “Oh yeah, the fame thing. That shit sucks. You try dating and you end up with some dude who’s obsessed with your dryer lint.”
Sloan nodded. “It was hard for Jason too. He didn’t even tell me who he was until two weeks after we met. It’s not easy.”
“Yeah, it’s not really that,” I said. “Just some stuff I’d rather not talk about.”
Sloan smiled gently in a way that told me she followed my channel. “Well, just remember, the universe doesn’t give you more than you can handle.”
Kristen scoffed. “Yeah it does. It does all the time. The universe doesn’t give a shit, it’s a total asshole.”
CHAPTER 17
WILL YOUR CRUSH
EVER NOTICE YOU?
TAKE THIS QUIZ!
ADRIAN
I watched the women huddled together in the living room. “What do you think they’re talking about?”
Jason took a swallow of his drink. “Well, looks like Kristen has activated my wife’s nervous eye twitch, so I’m going to say it’s something inappropriate.”
Kristen threw her hands up. “It’s science, Sloan!”
Vanessa laughed and peered over at me, her pretty eyes twinkling.
I grinned at her. “What are you ladies doing?” I called.
Vanessa twisted to smile at me over the back of the couch. “Summoning the devil to Eastwick. Don’t come over here.”
Josh chuckled and handed me an old-fashioned.
“Just one,” I said, taking it. “I’m driving.”
“I’m glad you called,” Josh said. “We should get together more often. Come up to Ely and see the new house.” He nodded at the girls. “Bring Vanessa.”
I looked over at her and smiled. I’d like to bring her. I’d like to bring Vanessa anywhere. She made me proud to know her. She was exactly what her YouTube channel said she was—a social butterfly. A woman you could put in any situation and she’d charm the pants off whoever she was with.
Vanessa was effervescent. I’d never met a person that I could describe that way, but it was true. She glowed. Energy came off her and illuminated everything and everyone around her.
It wasn’t until I noticed that Jason was talking to the side of my face that I realized I was staring at her. “I’m sorry, what?” I asked, looking back at him.
“I was just saying I’m glad you didn’t pull out all these stops on your date with Sloan or my wife might have married you instead of me.”
I chuckled. “I never stood a chance. To this day, I have never had a woman run out of a date faster.”
Jason laughed. His wife looked up at the sound, and he winked at her.
“How long have you two been dating?” Jason asked.
“We’re not,” I said, talking into my tumbler. “We’re just friends.”
Josh snorted. “Are you sure?”
“Vanessa’s not interested in dating,” I said.
Josh laughed. “My wife told me the same thing once.” He nodded to the vestibule. “Hey, I think there’s some mistletoe hanging by the front door.” He bounced his eyebrows.
I didn’t want Vanessa to kiss me just because we were standing under mistletoe. I didn’t want her to kiss me because it was midnight on New Year’s. I didn’t want a one-night stand or to be friends with benefits. I wanted all of her. I wanted it the right way.
I wanted her to want me back.
CHAPTER 18
HOW TO LOSE A GUY BY MAKING THIS ONE BIG MISTAKE!
VANESSA
Adrian pulled into the garage under our apartment building. It was around 10:00 p.m. and I was still pretty buzzed. I lolled my head on the seat to look at him. “So what’d you guys talk about over by the bar?”
He put the car in park. “Diaper cream, mostly. Jason and Sloan’s daughter has a rash.”
I put my lip out in a pout. “I know, poor baby Emma.”
He turned off the ignition. “What did you guys talk about?”
I gave a shrug. “Your penis mostly.”
He blanched. “What?”
“Josh’s too,” I said defensively. “But mostly yours.”