I saw the world through a different lens now. I noticed how hard it was to get wheelchair-accessible taxis and hotels. How rare it was in some places to find things I’d always taken for granted, like sidewalks. How so many restaurants and souvenir shops didn’t have ramps. On our last trip to New York, I saw blatant violations of the Americans with Disabilities Act with subways lacking elevators in most of their stations.
If Vanessa ever did get sick, I wanted her world to stay as big as possible. I didn’t want there to be anywhere she, or others like her, couldn’t go and I’d spend the rest of my life fighting to make that a reality. It was rewarding and fulfilling—and I finally had my balance.
I kept up with my therapy sessions and I was in an online support group for people living with terminal loved ones. I took care of my mental well-being with the same commitment that I took care of my family—because I couldn’t do one unless I did the other.
Vanessa snuggled up to me and I put an arm around her. Grace leaned into me on the other side, holding her favorite stuffed bear.
I told them I loved them every day. I never took tomorrow for granted. Aaaaand I read the horoscopes Becky texted me without exception.
“Are you ready?” I asked, hovering my finger over the button that would send the file through. “We can’t get it back once it’s gone.”
Vanessa grinned. “I don’t think ALS will know what hit it.”
My lips twisted up into a smile. “Good.”
{Send}.
READING GROUP GUIDE
Author’s Note
While Vanessa’s character is fiction, I went into this book in awe of the inspirational real-life activist and YouTuber Claire Wineland.
Claire lived with cystic fibrosis, an illness she refused to let define her. She used her platform to inspire and educate, traveling the world to speak to others about her life and encouraging those with chronic illnesses to find fulfillment and live proudly. A documentary about her life titled Claire can be found exclusively on YouTube.
Claire passed away in 2018 at twenty-one from complications after a lung transplant. She donated her organs to those in need.
She was a beautiful soul.
Discussion Questions
Would you have given your baby to a strange man at 4:00 a.m.?
Would you help friends and family suffering from addiction? At what point is it enabling, and when should you stop?
How difficult is it for you to live in the moment and enjoy life to the fullest today versus saving and investing for the future? Can you do both?
How do you feel about Vanessa’s decision not to seek treatment?
Do you believe that couples in a relationship should make decisions about end of life and medical care together? Or is that for the dying person to decide?
Could you enter a relationship knowing your partner might have only a year to live? Is it better not to know?
If you had the platform, what issue or cause would you raise awareness for? What can you do now to make a difference today?
Adrian’s Chicken and Wild Rice Soup
3½ 32-ounce cartons chicken broth (or 112 ounces)
14 ounces mirepoix mix (or 2 carrots, 1 stalk of celery, 1 large white onion—chopped)
2 cups sliced mushrooms (optional)
Fresh poultry bouquet (two stems each of rosemary, sage, thyme)
1 pound cooked shredded chicken
2 boxes of Rice-A-Roni Long Grain & Wild Rice with seasoning
Salt to taste
Roux:
¾ cup butter
1 cup flour
3 cloves minced garlic
¼ cup cooking sherry
1 pint heavy whipping cream
Directions:
Put broth, onions, carrots, celery, mushrooms (if using), herbs (on the stems), chicken, and rice and seasoning packets into a large stock pot and simmer until the rice is cooked and the carrots are soft, approximately 20 minutes. Remove the herb stems and any loose sage leaves. Add salt to taste.
Make the roux:
In a medium saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the flour and garlic, whisking constantly until the mixture boils. Boil for one minute. Slowly pour in the sherry and cream, mixing constantly until thick. Add the roux to the soup and serve.
Note: If soup is too thick, it can be thinned with more broth or milk.
Makes 12 servings
Tastes extra yummy in bread bowls. Can be frozen up to three months for later.
Vanessa’s Horseradish Mashed Potatoes
3 pounds quartered russet potatoes, skins on
8 ounces cream cheese
¼ cup butter
4 tablespoons creamy horseradish or horseradish sauce, plus more to taste
Salt to taste
Directions:
Bring water to boil in a large stockpot. Add potatoes. Boil the potatoes until soft, approximately 15 to 25 minutes. Drain.
Use a handheld mixer to combine all ingredients, adding the horseradish 1 tablespoon at a time until you reach the desired flavor.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to pharmacist Tracy Nelson for helping me get the narcotics and the details surrounding addiction in this book right.
A big thank-you to attorneys Lisa and Katie Tuntigian-Ringer and attorney Larry Hales for your legal prowess. Thank you, Terri Saenz and Dan Schoonover, and as always a huge thank-you to my group admins, who make so much of what I do possible. Jeanette Jett, Terri Puffer Burrell, Lindsay Van Horn, and Dawn Cooper, you guys rock.
Thank you to beta readers Kim Kao, Lyndse Kay, Amy Edwards Norman, Trish Gee, Lisa Stremmel, and Leigh Kramer. To my agent, Stacey Graham; my editor, Leah Hultenschmidt; my publicist, Estelle Hallick; cover designer Sarah Congdon; production editor Mari Okuda; production coordinator Marie Mundaca; and the whole Forever Romance team. I can’t believe I suckered you guys into another three-book deal—haha!
Additional thanks to these fabulous supporters!
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