I try to get up without making a sound but the creaking noise the mattress’ springs are making seems to be coming from a megaphone. Still, Colt doesn’t stir. I take the pillow and put it on the floor next to him. He is already leaning to the side if I can get him to go down all the way I can get the door open enough to squeeze through.
I push softly on his shoulder, realizing quickly that he is much heavier than I anticipated. I start pushing him over with both of my hands until his head hits the pillow. I wait for a moment making sure he really didn’t wake up. When I am certain that he is still out, I pry the door open and few inches and squeeze myself through.
I sneak down the hallway until I reach the door I am looking for. I slide the dead bolt over and push the door open. The woman is sitting on the floor, looking at me wide-eyed.
“Come on, you need to leave!” I scream to whisper, looking back and forth to her and down the hall. She is on her feet and by my side the next instant. She pads my arm like she is checking if I’m really here. “It’s okay. Go on and get help. I’ll keep him busy.”
“Are you sure?” She whispers back. “You should come with me.”
“No, go ahead. I’ll be fine.”
I stand frozen in the barely lit hallway as I watch her run down the stairs. Am I going to be fine? I did the thing again, where I acted before thinking. Colt is going to be furious about this. He said he isn’t going to hurt me and I want to believe him. I really can’t imagine him hurting me, but I also can’t imagine him hurting anyone else and I know he has. So, there is that.
Should I make a run for it and break my promise or should I stay and risk getting hurt? While I have an inner debate with myself I hear someone move around down the hall. I look up and meets Colt’s angry stare. “What did you do?” He growls, jogging toward me.
“I-I let…I let her go,” I stutter, suddenly not sure if I made the right decision. I take a step to the side when Colt stops a few inches away from me. I press myself against the wall, next to the door frame. Colt’s eyes turn two shades darker as he looks from me, to the open door.
I flatten myself against the wall. Making myself as small as I can, I wish the wall would suck me in and hide me. He looks mad. No, furious. His body is shaking with anger. I’m shaking for a different reason. His hands are balled into tight fists making his knuckles turn white and he is breathing heavily. He swings his arm back like he is about to punch me. All I can do is close my eyes and wait for the pain to come. A loud smash next to my ear makes my whole body jerk, but the pain never reaches me.
Slowly, I open one of my eyes to take a peek. Colt punched the wall next to my head. His fist is still there when he leans into me. His face only an inch away from mine. Our foreheads are almost touching and I can feel his breath on my skin when he whispers, “you don’t belong here.”
I don’t belong here? What is that supposed to mean?
He brought me here. I might not exactly know where I belong yet, but it is not here for sure. He leans away from me and I try to get my ragged breathing under control.
“We need to leave, now.” He grabs my wrist and pulls me to the other room to gather all of his stuff in lightning speed. He leads me back down the hallway and into the stairwell. We only make it one flight of stairs before we hear the door open a few floors below us and someone running up the stairs. Before I have even time to think about screaming, Colt’s arms come around me. One hand is tightly covering my mouth as he drags me to a dark corner in the hallway leading away from the stairs. I don’t even fight him, I just let him push me against the wall so we are hidden by the darkness.
I am wedged between Colt and the wall. From where we are positioned we can see into the staircase but nobody should be able to see us. A few seconds later, I see two figures run up the stairs. We wait. I don’t move.
Sobs echo down the stairwell, bouncing off the walls. They become louder as two sets footsteps slowly make their way downstairs. When the two figures reappear into view I try to step closer to them, but Colt tightens his grip on me. My own sob is silenced by his hand over my mouth, but a few tears still escape my eyes.
Jenna looks like she is barely holding on. Hunter is holding her, carrying most of her weight. I’ve never seen him in person, but Jen showed me a bunch of pictures of her friends. The same friends who didn’t even know that I existed, until now.
8
Colt
I drive down the bumpy dirt road surrounded by nothing besides mud puddles, bare trees, and endless fields. The old trailer is tucked away in the middle of nowhere. I hate coming here, I have never liked this place. Too many bad memories are floating around in the air. I am only here now because this is the safest option right now. Josie is sitting silently in the passenger seat beside me. She looks sad, but she doesn’t look like she is scared senseless anymore.
I park the car right in front of the run down double wide. I should burn this place down. Maybe I can burn the images that have been engraved in my mind with it. Then I can finally let go of the things I went through while I was here.
Josie walks with me around to the back of the trailer and watches me while I start the generator. It takes me a few tries before I get this rusty old thing going. “You want to take a shower?” I ask her on the way in.
“Yes, please.”
I lead her to the bathroom and get out some clean towels and toiletries from my bag. “Leave the door cracked open, take off all your clothes and throw them out the door before you get into the shower.”
Her eyes double in size at my orders. “Why?”
“Because I am going to start the washer and I thought you might want some clean clothes. Also, I figured you are less likely to climb out the window and run away when you are naked.”
“Yes, you are right. In both cases.” She gets into the bathroom and does what I told her to do, while I wait next to the door for her clothes. Her bare arms come into view and she lets her stuff fall into a pile on the floor next to me. I pick them up and shut the door behind her to give her more privacy. I gather more clothes and throw them all in the washer.
Walking around this place trying to find some clean sheets, without being reminded of all the things that have happened here is futile. From my childhood until the day I brought Eliza here, this house has been nothing but a pillar of sorrow. I should really burn it down.
Ten years ago
It’s been a week since granny’s funeral. I still can’t believe she is gone. She was fine in the morning and then, a few hours later she was just gone. A whole life full of memories, a million moments, endless thoughts, hopes and dreams, just gone.
I don’t think Uncle Rick likes me being here. I’m a burden, he said.
I take out the small yellow ceramic bird I stole from the store this morning and set it on the dresser next to my bed. I took it because it reminds me of her, she would have loved it and it would have matched the rest of her pretty decorated house perfectly.
Today was only my second day at the new school and I have a lot of catching up to do. I work on my homework on my bed, so I can glance at the bird while I work. The afternoon sun hangs low in the sky and the rays coming through the window bounce of the bird’s shiny surface. It’s pretty and it is the only beautiful thing in this place.