She shook her head grimly. “I told her what happened. I could take what they were doing to me, but the thought of them hurting you …”
I swallowed a sob, resisting the urge to get up and comfort her.
“I knew I couldn’t leave with you, but Zara was planning a dinner that night for the visiting guests. We thought that maybe she could get you outside of the pack by saying she needed to make a special trip to the town nearby for groceries.” She glanced at Nikolai. “Zara knew about you, Nik. I didn’t know exactly what pack you were from, but I knew it was Russian. Zara said she would figure it out.”
“I never told you,” Nikolai murmured, regret and shame on his face. “I only gave you the basic information. I spent most of my life being known for my pack. I came to America to get away after the death of my mother. We were only together that night … I assumed I would have plenty of time to tell you everything later.”
“I remember,” Mom whispered, giving him a sad smile. “We spent that night living in the moment. We didn’t speak of our packs and our pasts.”
“Only the future,” he finished, meeting her gaze. “Our future.”
“I didn’t know much about your pack other than it was in Russia,” she admitted. “That was all I could tell Zara. She was going to call her parents to come and get Skye. They were going to arrange her trip to you or find another way to hide her. The plan was so flimsy, but we were desperate. I was desperate.”
Tears filled Mom’s eyes, and she rubbed her temples, wincing. “I still don’t know how he found out we were planning to get Skye out, but he did. Linden, Allan, and a few others from the council showed up a few hours later. They dragged Zara into the house with them.” She gave me a tight smile. “You were out back playing.”
I frowned. “I remember that night. I hated the way Allan smelled. How he looked at me, so I hid when I heard his voice.”
“They made me choose,” she went on softly. “You or Zara. One of you had to pay for me planning to get you out. They reminded me that you were pack property and what I had done was similar to theft.”
Her lower lip wobbled as she looked at me through glassy, wet eyes. “There was no question, baby. I picked Zara. Linden broke her arm. And then Allan and the others dragged me upstairs.” Her gaze dropped to her lap where she was twisting her fingers. “I don’t have to tell you how that went.”
I shuddered, my body folding in on itself as I absorbed the memory like a physical punch. I covered my face with my hands, horrified. A second later, Nikolai’s hand settled on my shoulder reassuringly. But I still felt the tremor pass from his body into mine.
Mom sniffled, her shoulders curved inward. “I never should have left you that morning, Nik. I had no idea what would happen. I had no idea that I would be putting Skye in danger.”
“Of course you didn’t,” he said gently, kindly.
I looked up from between my fingers, my heart shattering to see Mom crying.
She blinked and more tears fell. “It happened so fast. I knew things were wrong in Long Mesa. It’s why I didn’t want you there when I went to tell them I was leaving. I knew my parents would be furious that I was breaking the marriage contract.”
“I should have insisted on going with you,” he replied, almost furiously. The hand on my back shook as he reined in his emotions. “I never should have let you out of my site.”
Mom swiped at her eyes. “Omegas had never been treated well in Long Mesa, but it wasn’t what I endured. That was a special hell they set up just for me. That was my punishment.”
“Why?” I demanded, my voice cracking. “For the sin of bonding with your mate?”
“For betraying Long Mesa,” she corrected bitterly.
“You can’t control who you bond to,” I argued.
“No, you can’t,” she replied. “But there’s a reason Long Mesa never had any bonded mates. I wasn’t the only mate who had her bond broken. I found that out later.”
“What?” I gasped out the word as Nikolai stiffened beside me.
Her lips twisted into a grimace. “Bonded mates are more loyal to each other than to the Alpha. My father couldn’t have that. He demanded absolute loyalty. All the Alphas of Long Mesa did.”
“So, that’s why he broke your bond?”
“That was all my mother,” she answered with a wince. “I came home, and I was so happy. I told her I had met my mate. That we were leaving. I knew how much the marriage contract meant to my parents and the pack. I knew they would never accept Nikolai, and honestly? I was sick of Long Mesa and the way the pack was run.”
Nikolai sucked in a deep breath through his teeth with another growl.
“My mother was … calm. I expected her to yell and scream, but she didn’t. That should have been my first warning. The going away tea she made me should have been my second.”
Mom shook her head and leaned back against the couch. “She was being so understanding, telling me what I wanted to hear. Even mentioned that she wanted to meet my new mate one day.”
“I’ll gladly meet her tomorrow,” Nikolai hissed.
“She’s dead.”
His eyes narrowed. “Can’t say I’m too broken up. I can only hope it was slow and painful.”
Mom gave him a curious look. She shrugged finally and said, “I stood up to leave, and the room started spinning.”
“She drugged you,” I stated, practically spitting the words.
She nodded. “I didn’t knock me out. I was … awake the entire time. Felt everything. But I couldn’t move. I couldn’t fight him.”
With a curse, Nikolai lunged to his feet and stalked towards the window. His fists opened and closed reflexively as he struggled to stay in control.
“Allan.” I was barely able to form the name on my lips, let alone get the sound out. “He’s the one who …”
Mom swallowed. “Yes.”
“And he is still alive,” Nikolai demanded harshly, spinning around with bloodlust in his eyes. “For now.”
I swallowed, watching him start to unravel before my eyes. He had already threatened to kill Allan, but I had a feeling now it wasn’t a threat. It was a vow.
Mom’s eyes shuttered a second later, and she turned her face away. “I felt the bond break. Even after eighteen years, that pain was still something I carried with me every single day, Nik. That hurt more than whatever he did to me. I felt every single piece of my heart break and grind to dust. My mother sat there, sipping her tea, watching Allan to make sure the bond was really broken. In that moment, I lost my mate, my future, and whatever family I thought I had.”
I pulled my legs up onto the couch, wrapping my arms around my shins and propping my chin on my knees. Everything in me felt cold.
Mom blinked, clearly away the memories. “After that I didn’t really care what happened to me. There were three weeks to the wedding and I just … existed. Mother acted like nothing happened. Same for my father. Until a few days before the wedding when I had to see the doctor to be declared fit for marriage, and they found out I was pregnant.”
Her eyes cut to me, the emerald shade of her eyes vibrant against her pale skin. “I knew from the second I found out that you existed that you were my world. I fought like hell to keep you, and I was so relieved when you, my beautiful baby girl, came out looking just like your father.”