I couldn’t blame them, either. Wasn’t that exactly what I wanted? For her to stay around forever? The woman was a balm to my temperament, and despite still getting angry, I found myself always considering how it would affect her before reacting.
The part of me that wasn’t tempered? The fact that I wanted to tie Maya to myself to make sure that she never left. It was absurd, and she would probably be scared by that notion, but I very much had considered finding a way to tie us together so that she couldn’t leave. Hell. The thought of handcuffs had even crossed my mind.
Atlas would probably punch me for even thinking that.
“Sai?” Maya’s voice was a whisper, and I immediately snapped my gaze from the window to the beautiful woman looking up at me. A rumble escaped my throat as I stared at her, afraid to talk because I was worried about what would come out. That I would admit to loving her. Obsessing over her. Beg her to never leave me.
My gaze moved down her body as I briefly realized that she had been changed from the dress into a soft oversized shirt, her breasts pressed against the material, one side falling off her shoulder and tempting me to bite it. To leave my mark. I swallowed as she sat up, the material of the blanket falling and revealing her long legs that looked far too fucking amazing. They would have looked even better wrapped around my waist.
I must have been staring too long because a shiver trailed over her skin, and as I looked back up at her, a growl caught in my throat upon realizing her nipples were hard and pressed against the material. Her face flushed and eyes dilated.
“Kitten.” I felt relief hit me like a goddamn lightning strike. “Thank fuck you’re awake.”
“I passed out?” She winced.
“Your magic went into overload, probably a mixture of everything going on and reconnecting with your mom’s magic,” I murmured, panic gripping my chest at the possibility that my words could remind her of the options she had. Not that Maya didn’t have options before… but I had never been one to point those out to her. Rather the opposite, frankly.
“Sai, are you okay?” she asked softly, her voice filled with confusion while sitting up and moving her legs to the side of the bed. I inhaled sharply, keeping my hands on the bedding as I tried to not focus on her legs right in front of me and how easy it would be to push them open and go down on her. To taste her. I wish I could tell you I gave a fuck that her parents were in the other room. Or that the door was unlocked. Neither of those mattered to me.
“No,” I admitted honestly. I should have been asking her if she was okay. Instead, I was practically soaking in the attention and concern she was offering me.
“Why?” Maya’s fingers found their way into my hair as my hands moved to her hips, my mouth fucking watering at the scent of desire saturating the space around us. I wanted to lick up her wet heat and let her ride my face until she came. Hard. She probably didn’t even realize where my mind was at. Of course I wasn’t okay. How could I be any version of okay when Maya could leave us? When my mark wasn’t on her? When I wasn’t inside of her?
Her touch had my body reacting on instinct. I pulled her forward, her legs splitting on either side of my chest as her breathing hitched. I wanted nothing more than to crawl up onto the bed and pin her to it, not letting her escape the pleasure I wanted to give her. A small whimper broke from her lips as her skin flushed a delicate pink.
I knew I hadn’t answered her question yet, but I couldn’t find it in myself to admit my problem. I knew I needed to tell her the truth, but I also would have rather done a million far more interesting things. I put my forehead down on her thigh, tempted to sink my teeth into the soft flesh.
“Sai?” she questioned again.
“I’m worried about you finding your family.”
“What? Why?” Maya asked, confusion filling her voice and making this so much more difficult. I was so incredibly selfish, and nothing I said would make my thoughts and words less horrible. Who looked at the woman they loved and asked them to pick them over the family that she only recently discovered? It was so fucked up. I was fucked up.
I needed to feel like she was choosing me, though.
“I don’t want to lose you,” I admitted roughly. “I can’t lose you, kitten. It would gut me.” My words were met with surprise that I could feel in the slight tension that ran through her frame. Her hands cupped my jaw as I looked up at her from where I was kneeling before this perfect fucking woman. My pride was completely and utterly absent. I hadn’t realized how desperate I was for her reassurance until I was kneeling in front of her, practically begging for it.
“You will never lose me.” Her words had hope nearly suffocating me. “I may have found my parents, but they aren’t my family. Not how you guys are. You are my mates, Sai. Wherever we go, we go together… at least, that’s how I thought it worked. Unless you want something different.”
“No,” I hissed out immediately and winced, feeling like an ass at my harsh tone. “I wouldn’t blame you, though, finding out you’re the princess of an entire realm. You have a massive family that would love nothing more than to keep you.”
Maya’s voice was edged in vulnerability as she spoke softly. “Do you want to keep me, Sai?”
How was that a fucking question?
In a second flat I had her pinned to the bed, cupping her face and examining the slight surprised but worried expression. How the hell had she reached that conclusion? I wanted to kiss that expression away, but instead I decided to tell her exactly how I felt.
“Of course I want to fucking keep you, Maya. You’re all I want. I’m terrified that you are going to realize that you don’t want us. That you have better options.”
Her eyes widened. “Better options? Sai, you guys saved me. You changed my entire world in a day. There aren’t any other options because I could never feel this way about anyone else.”
I swallowed back my words of utter devotion as I considered laying all my cards on the table, but my dragon was demanding that I approach the topic that bothered him the most. I felt weak giving into it, but I knew her answer would relieve or break me, and the anticipation of it was driving me to insanity.
“You marked Ledger,” I whispered. The realization of part of what had truly been bothering me becoming all too clear as the weight from not asking her was lifted from me.
Her eyes filled with confusion. “Was I not supposed to?”
How the hell did I explain this without sounding absolutely mental?
“It’s not that.” I frowned, ignoring the rumble that tried to escape my chest. “My dragon is just upset that he came before us. You marked the other three but skipped over us.”
It was stupid, so stupid, that dominance mattered to my dragon, but it did, and it was driving me up the goddamn wall. It was a slight that made my dragon feel as though we weren’t worthy of being her mate, and that concept was painful enough to damn well cripple me.
“I didn’t skip you.” Her authentic confusion had me feeling even worse.
“I understand that,” I murmured, “but my dragon is a dick.”
“Is this because of the hierarchy thing Croy explained?” she asked softly.
I nodded, and her eyes filled with a softness, her lips pressing up into a beautiful smile. “Sai, I want to mark all of you. As soon as possible.”