“Kiss?” I tilted my head back, offering him a smile as he let out a soft rumble, gripping my jaw and slanting a kiss over my lips. As he left, I bit my lip, feeling a smile creep on my face at how satisfied yet sore I felt. My toes curled as I went towards the undergarment drawer where I had found my gold ensemble from before, this time selecting a vibrant blue. Pulling it on, I made sure to check the straps on the dress, happy to actually be able to wear a bra that had straps rather than strapless. I was finding the latter was always falling slightly, which was very annoying to constantly have to adjust. I took out the dress from the garment bag and examined it.
Honestly, this was a dress I would have never chosen to wear either.
Not because it wasn’t something I liked. In fact, it was probably my favorite dress to date. It was beautiful, but I would have never chosen it for myself. It looked like something fit for Queen Cyra, and you had to have a level of confidence that I wasn’t positive I had to pull it off. I wanted to believe I did since it appeared the woman who was actually my mother was so vastly different than the one who raised me.
My eyes closed as a shudder rolled through me, tightening my arms around myself as my breathing went rough. There were times that I could forget that I had been through all of that. Times were it was so far in the back of my mind that I forgot it even happened. But then sometimes it hit me hard.
Sometimes I felt like an imposter living a life that I didn’t deserve.
Wasn’t that the largest issue? I couldn’t find a way to connect the Maya who had been starving in a basement, cold and alone, with this version of myself. The disconnect had me feeling off and caused me to spiral to a place that I didn’t know how to fully deal with.
I knew this was my chance to be happy. I knew this was a second chance to escape the shitty cards I’d been dealt. But the ghosts from my past? They had taken permanent residence, and I wasn’t positive how to get rid of them.
Sometimes all I could see, all I could hear, was the woman that raised me. Her violent hands and words. My throat closed up, the taste of soap in my mouth as I remembered the way she beat me. Mercilessly. A gasp came from my throat as my head started to spin, my hands dropping the dress as I stumbled back to a velvet bench, not making it all the way there before sinking to the floor.
The room began to feel smaller as I put my head to my knees. I was nearly positive that this was one of the panic attacks Jordan had been talking about. A rasping sound that I realized was my breath rapidly drawing in and out echoed through my ears. This was too much. All of it was, and the onslaught of emotion that came with all this realization was hitting me hard enough to make me feel dazed.
I had an entire family I hadn’t known about.
I had been taken and locked away, imprisoned by a witch coven.
I was someone of note in a realm I didn’t even know existed until recently.
My eyes fluttered shut as I pulled my knees up further, my head pulsating in pain. Not even my mating marks could calm me down, and I wasn’t focused on anything but the internal panic racing through me, so I had no idea if they could feel my panic.
“Maya?” Henry’s voice was suddenly against my ear as I trembled, my toes and fingers going numb as I curled further against myself.
“What the hell happened?” Croy’s voice was panicked. “I was just with her—”
“Maya.” Henry’s voice rang more clear in my ear, making my eyes flutter open. It wasn’t just in my ear, though—his voice seemed to resonate through all of me, almost as if he was speaking in my head.
The man in question was crouched before me where I had somehow sunk to the floor, his hands on either side of my face. I sucked in a breath as he said something, my eyes tracing his lips but not really understanding what was coming out. I felt the room spin as I tried to ground myself. That was when I felt a cool, soft energy fill my head and Henry’s magic truly took over, rolling my consciousness completely. Had he been able to do that this entire time?
The relief was nearly instant. My body went limp as I leaned against him, all the anxiety draining from my body as I trembled, tears pricking my eyes.
I wasn’t positive how long I stared at the floor of the closet, my heart slowing, but soon I realized the room was silent, and I could feel both Croy and Henry watching me intently. I lifted my chin and found myself looking into Croy’s eyes. He was crouched next to us, both of them dressed and me barely in clothes, curled up against Henry on the floor. I blinked away residual tears that I hadn’t even realized had fallen. I reached a hand up and smoothed it over his jaw as he let out a concerned sound, our bond filling with vibrant emotion that went from fear to worry.
“Sorry,” I rasped out. “I just… I got really overwhelmed all at once.”
“Nothing to apologize for,” Henry promised, his voice filled with a warmth I knew he reserved for me. “What triggered it?”
Triggered it? I frowned and rubbed my head. “I honestly don’t know.”
Suddenly, a cold chill rolled over me and I shivered, making Croy stand up as he quickly got a robe. I slipped it on my arms and tried to stand, Henry helping me up despite my shaky legs.
“We should… I should get ready,” I murmured, walking over to the dress and picking it up before looking back at them. I frowned, feeling almost numb and realizing that it may have been the dress in part that triggered thoughts about my real mom and the woman that raised me. My heart jumped as I nodded.
Yeah, that had been the reason for sure.
“Let me help,” Croy offered as he unzipped the dress, and Henry offered me a hand as I somewhat unsteadily stepped into it. I swallowed, feeling a bit off base as he helped zip up the back and I adjusted the waist and cleavage up front. I didn’t look in the mirror, searching the room for heels that I would need to wear. I didn’t realize both boys had gone quiet until I looked up and found both of them staring at me with wide eyes.
Suddenly, I felt self-conscious. “Do I look bad?”
“No.” Henry’s voice was rough. “Fuck no.”
“Maya, you look pale. Are you sure you want to go through with this? We don’t have to go,” Croy insisted, seeming to shake himself.
Finally, I found gold heels and slipped them on, running my fingers through my hair. I shook my head, knowing that not going wasn’t really an option, especially because I wanted to know more about my mother, and the way to do that wasn’t from afar. Plus, having extra help dealing with the coven sounded extremely appealing. As in my mates wouldn’t be in nearly as much danger if we had more help.
Stepping out from the closet, I froze as I caught my reflection in the mirror, realizing possibly why the boys had been staring.
I didn’t look like myself.
I mean, I did, literally, but the woman looking back at me looked like a princess, something that I apparently very much was despite that seeming impossible. There were a lot of factors that played into it, but the dress was… spectacular. That was the only word for it. It had to have some magical element to it that made you look more beautiful than you were. More confident. More self-composed.
Everything that I wasn’t feeling right now.
The actual structure of the dress was far more simple than the other. The bodice was two panels of thick material that were bound in the center with laces. They went over my shoulders and wrapped around the back as well, leaving the sides bare, dipping down to the waist. The thick material appeared to be a satin, but the shoulders were decorated in feathers that started in a deep blue over the gold material and transitioned into shades of purple and then gold where the dress cinched at my waist. From there, the gorgeous tulle skirt went out in a ombre effect in the opposite order down to where it brushed the floor. All of it was dusted with sparkles of pink and gold that seemed to highlight my skin tone. It was a gorgeous garment… and where I should have felt lacking, I instead felt empowered and beautiful.