Lane stands tall, shoulders back, confusion at war with irritation in his eyes. “Yeah. And we talked about that already.”
“Ask me again.”
“What?” He gives a short, defensive laugh and heads to the fridge.
“Ask. Me. Again.”
He pulls out a beer, twists off the top and tips back a swig. “Why the hell would I want to do that?”
“Why the hell would you try and make me feel like shit for something you already knew about?”
His brow creases over dark eyes. “What the hell are you talking about?”
I slide the letter from beneath the newspaper on the counter and watch as the color drains from his face.
“You went through my desk?” He clenches his jaw and his knuckles turn white around the bottle.
“I was looking for the mortgage file.”
“It’s in the same spot it always is.”
“Not today, it wasn’t.”
“You shouldn’t have gone through my shit, Hayden. You know there’s confidential information in there.”
“I consider this confidential, too, but I guess you thought otherwise.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” His voice rises and his eyes narrow. “It was four fucking years ago.”
“Four years that you’ve lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie about anything.” He chuckles again, this time running his hand around the back of his neck. “But if you want to talk about blowing smoke, maybe we should talk again about how you didn’t give a shit about him.”
“I never said I didn’t care!” I slam the mug to the counter, my hands instantly balling into fists. “I told you that, despite it all, I chose you!”
“Then why are you flipping your shit right now, Hayden? Huh?”
“You took something that was meant for me. And knowing what you knew, you made me feel guilty about it every chance you got!”
He lifts an easy shoulder. “Maybe you should have told me on your own, so I didn’t have to work it out of you.”
“Why would I tell you that I cared about another man, Lane? Why would I do that to you? When it didn’t matter.”
“If it didn’t matter, why is it such a big fucking deal now?” he bites back.
“It matters because I had every right to know and every right to—”
“To what? Make the biggest mistake of your life? He said it himself, Hayden. It wasn’t what you wanted. Hell, he didn’t even want it.”
“That was for me to decide!”
“We both know what you would have done and, in six months or maybe even a year, you would have come crawling back just like you did the first time.” He throws back another swig of beer and I want to knock the bottle from his hand.
Nostrils flaring, I tighten my fists until my nails dig into my palms. “How many times do I need to remind you that isn’t how it happened?”
“Isn’t it?” He shakes his head, a crooked smirk on his face. “I mean, I bought your story until he left that fucking letter at the hospital and I realized the only reason you were with me was because you thought you didn’t have anywhere else to go. You needed someone to help raise his fucking kid.”
“I didn’t need you!” I roar. “I could have done this on my own if I wanted to!”
His grins widens as he lifts his beer and bites off a simple, “Wow.”
His audacity hits my last nerve and I throw my hands in the air. “I chose you! YOU!” I spit, as tears pour down my face. “But you had no right to keep that from me!”
“You keep saying you chose me. Who the hell are you trying to convince, Hayden, huh? Me or yourself?”
“I’m not trying to convince anyone! I’m telling you exactly what happened!”
“Do you honestly believe any of this shit you’re spewing?” His jaw pulses.
“I believe you lied to me and used what you knew to manipulate the situation.”
“I didn’t manipulate shit.” He runs a hand around the back of his neck again. “And how could I manipulate something you apparently wanted?”
I wet my lips and swallow. “I had the right to know. That letter was for me.”
He arches an eyebrow. “You don’t actually believe he meant any of that, do you? Because if he cared at all about you, it wouldn’t have taken you shitting out his fucking kid to make him realize it.”
I storm forward and my hand connects with his cheek as a strangled sob breaks free in my chest.
“That is my son you’re talking about!”
Lane holds the side of his face, stretching his jaw from side to side.
“You pretend you care, but the truth is he’s become nothing but an inconvenience to you. In fact, it all makes sense now.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Did you ever want this?” I cry. “Did you ever truly want to marry me or was all of this a big fucking game to make sure Jesse stayed away?”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“The more he does for Jett, the more threatened you feel, but it has nothing to do with actually giving a shit about Jett. It’s because you know that the more Jesse does, the more he’s living up to his promise.”
“His promise? He left you a fucking letter, Hayden. Couldn’t spew his sob story to your face and damn sure couldn’t do it before you had Jett, because he knew it was bullshit.” He shakes his head. “He thought if he caught you when you were most vulnerable, maybe you’d actually buy it. I can’t fucking believe you’re buying it now.”
“That doesn’t even make sense, Lane! Why would his letter be a last ditch effort to try and convince me of something he didn’t want? He’s never lied to me! He’s never used me to get what he wanted.”
“Oh, and I did that, huh?” His nostrils flare as his temper rises. “What are you really pissed about? The fact that I took the letter or the fact that it kept you away from him?”
My emotions boil over and my hands ball into fists again. “I trusted you. After everything we’d been through, I trusted you and you betrayed me.”
“And you never told me you fucking loved him.”
“That isn’t the point!”
His eyes go wide. “You’re not even going to deny it, are you? You loved him after two fucking weeks together. Before you even knew you were pregnant.”
“I—”
“We were together for two-and-a-half years!” He throws his hands in the air, face red. “How in the hell do you think that made me feel?”
“And how do you think I felt when you cheated on me!”
“I didn’t give a shit about her!” he roars.
“It doesn’t matter!” Tears stream down my face. “You don’t get to be mad that I had something with someone else while we were apart!”
“Maybe not. But the second you came back to me pregnant with his fucking kid, that changed.” He clenches his jaw. “I knew you wanted him. I knew you would have given anything for him to fucking want you back, but he didn’t, Hayden. He didn’t and the only reason he said he did was because he felt obligated.”