I’m just not sure how I’ll fare when it does.
I dream about her at night. We’re at a cabin, and she’s sitting by a window with a paintbrush in her hand. I’m standing in the doorway, watching her. I’m so damn happy. And then I wake up and feel the loss of that immediately.
“Well, you’d have a hard time getting out of bed, too, if you’ve been through what I’ve been through,” I grumble.
“By the looks of it, you’ve been through Hell.”
“A Hell of my own creation.”
“Use a comb next time you come to work,” Matt says, throwing up his hands. “Or at least put on a hat.”
I grab my belt from the corner and fasten it around my waist. My gaze catches on the dice on my arm like it’s done a million times since I got the tattoo. Only these days, I get all fucked up about it and have to pause and stare. It’s something I would’ve made fun of other guys for doing. But I’m starting to get it now.
It’s like she gets me without me having to explain myself. Even more, she wants to get me. At least for now.
“Where is everyone at?” I ask.
“Avery went with Meredith to pick out paint. Since we’re just about done in this room, they can get some paint on the walls. I asked them to wait for you because I knew you’d appreciate spending the morning with Meredith, but they left.”
I flip him the bird.
“Jake is here somewhere. I think he’s just killing time before he meets his dad for golf,” Matt says.
“Of course they golf,” I say, trying to remember where I left off yesterday. “They probably have Sunday dinners and give each other ties for Father’s Day.”
“Probably.”
I’ve told myself my whole life that I don’t care about that shit. I mean, how much smarter or better off does it make you if you and your pops have a standing golf time on Saturday mornings? And who golfs, anyway? It takes years off your life.
“I think I left my hammer in the back room,” I tell Matt. “Be right back.”
It takes a few minutes to find where I stashed my tool. As I turn to leave, my gaze falls on the table by the wall that Avery sat on when she kissed me. That feels like it was forever ago, like she’s been in my life for ages.
I think back over the last couple of weeks. She’s been patient with me. She’s given me room to figure this out as best I can. She makes me feel good about myself, and I love hearing her laugh. Even more, I like knowing she’s an arm’s reach away in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep.
Maybe I’m overthinking everything. She’s certainly not like any other woman I’ve ever known.
I feel lighter as I start down the hallway again. Avery’s voice filters down the corridor.
“There you are,” I whisper, my face breaking into a smile. My steps get quicker as I march toward her voice.
“I’ve been here for a few hours already,” I hear her say. “Meredith is the best person to paint-shop with.”
“I’m the best person to shop with period,” Meredith says, as I round the corner. She takes off her sunglasses and hooks them on the V of her shirt. “You and I need to go to Nashville one weekend. We’ll take Haley and make it a girls’ trip. It’ll be a blast.”
Avery laughs. “Count me in.”
I can’t help but notice how happy she looks as I set my sights on her. Her cheeks are rosy. There’s a bounce in her step that I decide I’m taking credit for instead of giving it to Dogwood Café’s omelets.
Meredith looks around the room. “Jake is going to bring the paint in. Where do you want it?”
“Let’s see . . . Can he put it in that corner back there?” Avery points across the room. “I’ll set up a little staging area.”
“Have him come through the side door,” I say. “He’ll have to carry them a lot shorter distance.”
Meredith nods. “Let me go tell him before he gets them out of the car.” Her heels click against the tile as she scurries back out.
I wrap my arm around Avery’s back and pull her into me. I kiss the top of her head and pause to breathe her in.
“Stop staking a claim to her and get to work,” Matt jokes. “She’s yours. We all know.”
“I’m not staking a claim,” I say, making a face at Matt. “And I can get more work done in an hour than you can in five.”
Avery pulls away.
“Both of those statements are lies,” Matt says.
“Let’s have a build-off. We each build a frame for one wall and see who finishes first.” I toss out the challenge and reach for Avery again.
She walks toward Matt instead of letting me grab her. I make a face to lure her back in, but she’s not looking at me.
“I’d kill you. Wouldn’t even be hard,” Matt says before looking at Avery. “If I beat him, will that make you rethink your relationship with Penn? I wouldn’t want to cause problems in paradise.”
She puts a hand on her hip and lifts her chin to me. “I don’t know. Would you call this a relationship, Penn?”
I shrug, my stomach knotting tight. I have half a notion to tackle Matt for doing this.
“I don’t know. We decided to not put a label on it, didn’t we?”
Avery’s gaze cools as she turns it back to Matt. “We’re friends.”
“Interesting.” Matt raises his brows. “Guess I didn’t understand the definition of ‘friends,’ but there are lots of things I don’t know. As long as you two have it figured out . . .”
Meredith calls for Avery, who gives me a tight look, one that leaves me a bit rattled, and heads toward the boss lady.
Once she’s gone, Matt sighs.
“What?” I ask.
“Do you know what you’re doing?”
“Always.”
“No, really. I’m asking you a serious question.”
“Yes, Matt. I know what I’m doing.” I glance at the plans in front of him. “Why? What has your panties in a bind?”
He puts his hand in the middle of the plans so I have to look up at him.
“What?” I ask. “Stop being a dick.”
“I’m trying to help you here.”
“Help me with what?”
He shakes his head. “Didn’t you just see any of that? Your little game of being friends with Avery is getting old.”
“It’s not a game,” I counter.
“Then whatever it is. The words you use. The denial. Penn, she wants you to . . . you know, be proud she’s with you. Stake a claim to her. Say she’s your girlfriend.”
My stomach twists around. I think he’s serious, but I don’t know if he’s right this time. Avery gets what’s happening here. We’re getting to know each other. Having fun. Whatever it is, it’s working, and Avery understands.
Doesn’t she?
He shakes his head like he’s not done sorting through something. After a few seconds, he seems to give up. “Come hold this. It’s hard to keep it straight and hammer it at the same time.”
We get to work on the final frame, trading off hammering and holding. The joint effort makes it go quickly, and the repetitive motions let me think.