She stared silently at him and he squeezed her hand. “Look, I know you don’t have any complaints in the sex department with me, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t, I don’t know, have sex with another guy at least once. At the very least, sleeping with some random dude will show you how good you have it with me, right?”
She wanted to be angry. She wanted to stand up and rage and scream at him. But a debilitating sorrow was stealing into her bones, making her muscles ache and her skin warm. Maybe he was right. Maybe this really was all her fault. A part of her always worried that she wasn’t good at sex, and Harrison’s waning interest in her had confirmed that fear. She’d ruined their relationship, was losing the man she loved, because she sucked in bed.
Shame washed over her and she fought back the tears. She wouldn’t cry in front of Harrison. She was done crying in front of him. He would never see weakness from her again.
“Babe,” Harrison was still holding her hand, his fingers twisting the engagement ring around and around on her finger, “I know postponing the wedding stuff is gonna be tough, I know it’s gonna lose me some money, but I need this. And you do too. A break will be good for us. You’ll see.”
She pulled her hand away from his and stared at the ring on her finger. This might be her fault, she might be to blame for the failure of her relationship, but she wouldn’t sit like a faithful dog waiting for its master to come home. He could say he loved her all he wanted, but even she wasn’t stupid or naïve enough to believe that.
She stood, slipped the ring off her finger and stared at the way the light glinted off the diamond then set it on the table in front of Harrison. “Goodbye, Harrison.”
“It won’t be forever,” he called as she walked out of the kitchen. “Do some exploring, babe. You won’t regret it. I’ll call you in a few weeks! I love you!”
She closed the door with a soft click and climbed into her car. Like before, she managed to drive a few blocks before her shaking hands and blurry vision made her pull over. Tears gushing down her cheeks, she called Harper.
“Honey?” Harper answered on the first ring. “How did it go?”
“It was my fault,” Addison said dully. “I was right. I don’t do it for him in bed and that’s why he cheated. He wants to take a break. He still loves me, but he wants to do some exploring with other women and he said that I – that I could sleep with another man too, if I wanted.”
“That motherfucking rectum waffle,” Harper seethed. “Honey, don’t listen to a thing he said. He’s doing exactly what I said he would do. He’s gaslighting you.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Addison whispered. “I gave him his ring back and walked out and now I – I don’t know what to do.”
“The school year is finished. You can come to New York,” Harper said. “You need to get away from there for a while.”
“I can’t,” Addison whispered. “I have so much stuff to do now with cancelling the wedding. I can’t – I mean…”
“You can do most of it by phone, sweetheart,” Harper said. “Or it can wait a few days. It’s mostly Harrison’s money anyway, right?”
“Yeah,” Addison said. “My parents have only paid for a few things so far.”
“Then who fucking cares if you lose your deposits. Fuck that pompous nut box and his goddamn money. I’m looking at flights and there’s one that leaves tomorrow morning. I can book it right now.”
“I…” Addison took a deep breath. “Yeah, book it. I can’t be here, not right now.”
“Consider it done,” Harper said. “Pack your stuff, honey and I’ll email you your itinerary. I’ll see you tomorrow. Okay?”
“Okay,” Addison said. “I love you, Harper.”
“I love you too, Addie.”
Chapter Thirteen
“Poor Addie.” Kira merged onto the freeway and headed back toward Harmony Falls. “Gracie, I feel so bad for her. I don’t even know what to say or do for her. I can’t believe Harrison tried to tell her he cheated because she was bad in bed. What a shithead.”
“I know,” Grace said. “But it’s good that she’s going to Harper’s for a while. Harper will take care of her and say all the right things.”
Kira smiled a little. “Want to bet me twenty bucks that Harper has a voodoo doll of Harrison ready and waiting for when Addison gets there?”
“Easy money for you,” Grace said.
Kira laughed. “God, I miss Harper. Is it selfish of me to wish she’d move back home?”
“Nope. I wish she would too. But she’s living her dream, right?”
“Yeah. Thanks for driving with me to take Addison to the airport,” Kira said. “I know you have better things to do on your day off.”
“It’s not a problem at all,” Gracie said. “It’s a long drive to New Cassel.”
“It is, but also… it’s still kind of tough to make this drive. Even now,” Kira said.
“I know, honey.” Gracie reached across and squeezed Kira’s leg. It was Kira who’d driven her parents to the airport. Kira who’d been the last one to see them before they died in a plane crash. “You okay?”
“I am,” Kira said. “My therapist says it’s good to do these kinds of things. Even if they’re hard. It’s why I made myself get on the plane with you and Addie last year to visit Harper for her birthday.”
“You did really well,” Grace said.
“Yeah, with the help of some Xanax and a lot of leaning on you and Addie. Gideon still hasn’t flown in a plane.”
Grace’s pulse fluttered just hearing his name. “He hasn’t?”
“Nope. He tried two years ago. There was this cop convention thing in Maine, and he signed up for the convention and booked his flight and everything. He even made it as far as the airport.”
“What happened?”
“He had a panic attack and couldn’t do it. Thank God, Preacher was with us. I started kind of panicking because Gideon was panicking – he’s usually so calm and in control – and I was basically useless. Preacher hauled him out of the airport and calmed him down. But we had to cancel his flight. He just couldn’t do it.”
Tears pricked at Grace’s eyes. Gideon being afraid tore at her heart, and she knuckled away the tears that escaped down her cheeks.
“You okay?” Kira glanced at her.
“Yeah. Just feel bad for him.”
“I do too,” Kira said. “But any time I try to tactfully suggest that maybe he should get some therapy, he tells me that I shouldn’t worry about him, and I should concentrate on being healthy myself. I’ve told him repeatedly that I’m doing much better, but you know how he is. I don’t think he’ll ever truly believe me. You should talk to him about it. I know you’ve been bickering a lot the last few months, but I still think it’s worth a shot. He listens to you better than he listens to me. He always has.”
“I don’t think it’s my place,” Grace said.