Gil might’ve saved Olive but he’d lost any right to keep her.
I thought he’d have more time before they tried to take her away from him.
It wasn’t fair.
What would happen now?
Who would have custody while he was arrested and put on trial for a murder that he did commit? A murder that would come with prison time.
I froze as the future unravelled before me. Gil in jail. Olive with foster parents. A lifetime of broken families. We weren’t just talking about a few days here; we were talking about Olive’s entire livelihood.
She can’t be allowed to leave with them.
Justin followed the same path I did. His harsh inhale wrenched everyone’s attention to him. He looked at Olive with a pained expression, wanting to talk frankly but aware that word selection had to be careful.
“Clark...” He cleared his throat. “Um, seeing as your hospital stay might be longer than a few days...” His hand shook as he rubbed his mouth. “And we all know how slow doctors can be...” He looked at me, seeking support, refusing to look at the agents. “Perhaps we should arrange a longer-term arrangement for Olive than just a few days.”
The agents crossed their arms, tapping their feet.
Olive narrowed her eyes, trying to follow the cryptic conversation.
I deciphered it and my heart sank further. Seeing as you’re arrested and we all know how slow court dates and hearings can take, Olive needs a caregiver for the next few weeks at least. And longer if you’re convicted. These CPS agents can’t be allowed to take her. Who knows if you’ll ever get her back.
Gil’s whitewashed face turned a greenish hue. He rested on the edge of the bed as he buried his hands in his hair, tugging hard as the ramifications crashed into him. “Oh, God.” He looked as if he’d be sick.
I wanted to go to him. To rub his back. To assure him he wouldn’t lose her for the second time.
But if I did, I’d fall into the same pattern.
The pattern I was trying to break.
The pattern you’re stuck in now that you’ve offered to care for Olive.
“What? What is it?” Olive asked.
I pulled her into my side. “Nothing. Your father is just sad he can’t come home with you for a while.” Turning her to face me, I added, giving her options, giving myself options where I could still leave and not be linked to Gil, “Justin has the coolest place, and you can stay with him for a bit. It’s probably best if you stay with him.” I smiled as wide as I could. “He’s your godfather, after all. He’s kind of like an angel who will look after you. It will be fun. A little holiday.”
Olive’s eyes welled with fresh tears. “But I don’t want a holiday. I want to go home.”
“How about I come stay at your place then?” Justin offered. “It will be a holiday for me, instead.”
She cried harder. “I just want to go home with my dad.”
I hugged her close, my heart a bleeding ruin.
Gil looked into me, his stare piercing and full of so many troubled, hurting things. He nodded in thanks while I rocked his most precious belonging.
My stomach knotted.
My heart pounded in answer to his gratefulness, his sorrow.
God, what a mess.
“Look, we can discuss the fine print in a few days when emotions aren’t running so high.” The redhead tried to pry Olive out of my arms. “Just give us Olive, and we’ll ensure she’s well taken care of—”
“No!” Olive’s little hand slipped into mine again, deepening the bond between us that’d formed from dark forests and her father’s blood. “I’m not going anywhere with you!”
I stood, keeping Olive’s hand tight in mine. “I think it’s best if you come back later.”
“We can’t leave until we’re sure Olive’s living arrangements are satisfactory.”
“Can...can you look after me?”
I looked down as Olive tugged on my hand. Her face seemed older, alive with understanding that I was the lesser of the evils. She couldn’t have her father. She didn’t want Justin. She definitely didn’t want to be given to strangers.
She’d chosen me.
And her choice sentenced me to yet another cycle of not being able to say no.
“Can you? Please? Can you come stay until Daddy can come home?”
Justin stiffened.
Gil groaned, putting my welfare above Olive’s in a way that made me feel both cherished and utterly guilty. “No, little spinach. Let her go. O has already done far too much. She’s going away—”
“Please?” Olive looked up, her fingers so perfect and trusting in mine. “I’ll be good, I promise.” She practically climbed up my body with her panic. “I’ll go to bed when you tell me. You won’t have to tie me to a tree outside for being naughty. I’ll be super quiet and good, you’ll see.”
My eyes flew to the CPS agents.
Shit.
The dark-haired one narrowed her eyes, hearing what I did. That Olive had been subject to abuse that needed to be repaired. Abuse that I wasn’t qualified to deal with.
Gil made a broken noise, forgetting our unwanted audience. “God, he tied you to a tree?” His hands curled. “What else did he—”
“Gil.” I flashed him a warning look. “Now is not the time.”
He choked, his face white and hospital gown bright red. A crimson trickle ran down his naked calf, licking through leg hair and plopping onto the disinfected floor.
He shouldn’t be vertical. He shouldn’t be fighting such fear.
This wasn’t fair on either father or daughter, and I’d had enough.
No wonder I despised hospitals.
They were the steppingstone to hell.
A stopping place where those injured had to get better and those waiting had to hope their loved ones returned. It was purgatory and I wouldn’t let them suffer anymore.
I looked down at a little girl who’d somehow replaced my desire to run with unbreakable loyalty.
Olive’s tears were fast and fat, heavy with hurt. “Please! I don’t want to go with them—”
“You’re not going anywhere.” My vow hissed with promise. “Ever.”
She burrowed into me, trusting me. She trembled; the brave, curious girl who I thought was resilient to what she’d gone through buckled in my arms. She was fragile beneath her courageous exterior. She was hurting beneath her spirited exterior.
She’s like Gil.
A perfect chameleon, hiding her true feelings until she couldn’t hide them anymore.
This promise would break me all over again.
But I also couldn’t deny her.
Glaring at the agents, I clipped, “I’ll take care of Olive. She can stay at my apartment with me until Gilbert Clark is released from hospital. I’ll ensure she attends school and any other requirements you have. I’ll fill in any reports and do what you ask as long as you don’t take her away from her father.”
I could care for her in my home, as long as she didn’t want to return to the warehouse.
I couldn’t go back there.
Not yet.
“And when he goes on trial?” The redhead crossed her arms. “Who’s going to look after her then?”