I didn’t trust anyone. Literally anyone.
But Olin...she shone with sincerity. She made me wonder what it would be like to trust her. To have the luxury of her friendship, knowing she’d have my back because that was who she was. She wasn’t fake. She didn’t protect others for recognition or reward.
She helped others because she was good.
And being good these days was one of the rarest things in the world.
For God sake’s, even the wildlife wasn’t safe from her sweetness.
The sparrows got her sandwich crumbs; the squirrels earned nuts bought to school especially for them. Even the scratched, scarred, and ill-tempered tom cat got loved on as she walked home at the end of the day.
Home time was the only moment when her happiness faded. Her dancing gracefulness fell flat. Her positive personality clouding over.
Yet another reason why she intrigued me.
She gave everything she had to those around her, but when it came time to return to loved ones, she dragged her heels and acted as if home wasn’t an enjoyable place to be.
I understood that far too well.
“I asked you a question, Miss Moss. Where do you think you’re going?”
Olin rolled into herself, intimidated by Ms Tallup’s stare.
Couldn’t blame her. Ms Tallup had a nasty streak that was deadly intimidating.
“Bathroom?” Her voice pitched with guilt.
The two girls she hung out with snickered beside her. Olin didn’t look at them.
She was the opposite of me.
I was the boy everyone left alone.
She was the girl everyone wanted to be with. Girls flocked to her side. Boys beamed whenever she walked by. But I had a suspicion she was lonely beneath the popularity.
I didn’t know how I knew but her drive to protect others must come from somewhere, and it usually came from a desire to have someone do the same for them.
I got it.
I wanted someone to look after me, too. I was sick of fighting through life and dealing with punches, kicks, and sleepless nights. But I was far too wary to go out of my way to help like she did. Far too closed off to give the meagre energy I had to others.
Ms Tallup narrowed her cold, grey eyes. “You went to the bathroom ten minutes ago.”
“Tiny bladder.” Olin dropped her gaze, a blush working over pretty cheekbones.
“I don’t believe you.” Ms Tallup stomped to her desk and tossed down a notepad. “But I have to let you go, school policy and all.” Her head snapped up. “But you’re taking another student.”
“Oh.” Olin wrinkled her nose. “But, I—”
“No buts.” Ms Tallup surveyed the congregation of students. “Mr. Clark. You’ll accompany Miss Moss and make sure she doesn’t get lost on her journey.”
“Me?” I coughed.
What the hell?
I was fine nursing my crush from afar.
Happy to watch her good deeds and selfless acts without her ever knowing how much I missed her when she wasn’t there. How much I thought about her when I was at home with screaming whores and cursing fathers.
She didn’t need to be tainted by me.
Not when she was literally the only good thing in my world.
An addiction really.
Not only did her kindness trigger a hunger deep inside me to be on the participating end of her generosity but she was just so goddamn beautiful.
Inside and out.
However, that didn’t mean I wanted her to—
Olin looked over her shoulder, noticing me for the first time. Her nose smoothed from its embarrassed wrinkle, looking me up and down. She took in the grubby T-shirt I hadn’t washed in a while and the jeans that should’ve been recycled rather than cursed to keep covering my overgrown legs.
She smiled a little, her heart pure and perfect.
She didn’t grimace or shame me. She didn’t act as if having me escort her would be a death sentence like so many of the girls in our grade would do.
I tore my eyes from hers, unable to hold her open, accepting stare.
She sucked in a tiny gasp before turning back to our teacher. “It’s okay, Ms Tallup. I think Mr. Clark would prefer I go with someone else. I can take Patty—”
“No. You will take Mr. Clark.” Ms Tallup eyed Patty—the red-haired troublemaker—and smirked. “I don’t trust you girls together.”
I flinched as Ms Tallup’s gaze found mine, freezing me in place. “I trust Mr. Clark. Don’t I, Gilbert?”
My flinch became a cower which I tried to hide with a nonchalant grunt. My hand shook as I dropped my eraser and stood.
There would be no arguments.
Ms Tallup had taught me that last year when she’d held me back a grade. And the year before that when she’d decided I was too stupid to advance with the other students.
Two years of repeats.
Two years of living a nightmare.
I was at her mercy if I wanted to stay in school and get the hell out of this life.
“Yes, Ms Tallup.”
“Good boy.” Turning toward the board again, she waved at the exit. “Run along now and come back to me quickly.”
Standing, I moved toward Olin and hesitated beside her. Already whispers and snickers filled the classroom. My back crawled being centre of attention. My temper spiked.
If we were going to do this, I wanted it over with.
Not thinking of the ramifications, I grabbed her wrist, yanked her from her seat, and dragged her from the classroom. I didn’t let the fact that this was the first time I’d touched her knot my stomach or the fact that she’d probably never want to be alone with me again stop me.
I just couldn’t stand there with so many eyes upon us.
Instead of fighting me, Olin slipped into step, her dainty dancer’s feet light and balanced.
Yet another thing that drew me to her.
The way she moved was magic.
A cat-like grace to her every stride.
I’d often hid in the dusty hall when the school squad practiced their dancing. Her feet had wings. Her body could twist and bend like some silky, perfect ribbon.
She truly was my every fantasy, and that terrified me because the girl in my grasp could never live up to the illusion I’d created, and I didn’t want to lose her. Didn’t want to lose the dream-girl who made my days slightly better just by watching her dance in the field or sneaking home-baked goods to substitute teachers.
I didn’t have much, but I did have my version of Olin. I’d daydreamed her into something my heart desperately wanted because I needed an escape from reality.
I couldn’t afford to risk finding out the real girl wasn’t nearly as good as my creation.
The second we were in the corridor and the door closed behind us, Olin wriggled her wrist gently. She didn’t rip out of my hold, just politely cleared her throat and murmured, “You can let go now. No one is watching us anymore.”
I tore my hand off her, my fingers trembling.
Goddammit, even her voice affected me.
Soft and lyrical, gentle and calming.
My heart tripped and stumbled, a black temper doing its best to protect me from falling hard and falling forever. “Hurry.” I nudged my chin at the bathrooms down the hall. “Be quick.”
She sighed sadly. “I’ll be as fast as I can.” Reaching into her pocket for her cell phone, she didn’t move toward the facilities.