“The prettiest arse I’ve ever seen.” I pressed her nose.
She wrinkled it, tossing her head. “I want to draw a donkey now. Wait here.” Dashing away, she barrelled to her dresser, ripping open drawers and finding stationery and pencils.
I smiled, entranced by her innocence and total faith that in this moment, nothing could be more perfect.
Gil came toward me, sucking all the air from my lungs.
He stopped within touching distance, his eyes firing, lips parted. For the longest moment, he stared at me. His intensity was bright and fierce. His shields fell, revealing every emotion I’d never been allowed to see. “I shouldn’t have messaged you what I did last night. I shouldn’t have told you I’ve always been in love with you. That even now I want you, all while knowing I’ve ensured I’ll never have you.”
I shivered, needing to back away, unable to move. “It’s fine.”
His hand came up, cupping my cheek as if he couldn’t control himself. “Fuck, I’m so fucking sorry.”
My skin blistered beneath his touch. My stomach bottomed out. My heart cried. I backed up, forcing his hand to drop and my skin to scream in denial.
“Don’t.” I did my best to keep my stupid heart in its iron-clad box.
This was one promise I wouldn’t break.
He’d broken my faith.
My confidence.
Me.
And with that came a distance I wasn’t prepared to cross.
I was struggling, I would admit.
I came here offering condolences and concern but nothing more.
But standing there? God, every part of me wanted to be touched. Every cell wanted to combust with lust and lunacy. I wanted to scratch him, scar him, and show him just what he’d thrown away. But I shook my head, forbidding both of us from thinking there was any chance to repair this.
He sighed and raked a hand through his hair. The strands were unkempt and wild, as usual. “I’m so deeply indebted to you...for everything.”
“You don’t need to keep saying that, Gil. You don’t have to repay me...for anything.”
He licked his lips. “Are you sure? There’s nothing I can do to fix this?”
Kiss me.
Fight for me.
Prove that I’m wrong to leave.
It was time to go.
Time to walk out of Olive’s life after falling headfirst into it the past week. Loss kicked me in the stomach. I would miss her. I would miss watching her come alive again.
I could understand why she’d helped Gil so much. She was a natural cure to the hardships of life.
“I...I better go.”
He tried to hide his flinch but wasn’t successful. “Of course.”
“Will...will you be okay? Do you have arrangements made for Olive if you’re...”
He swallowed. “I’ll figure it out. It’s my problem, not yours.”
“If you need help...”
“I’ll manage. You’ve done far too much already.” His face twisted. “I’ll never be able to apologise enough for what I did.”
“Stop. Honestly, you don’t have to mention it again.” I tripped backward, instincts ordering me to leave now, before more memories of murdered girls and body painting sprang anew. “You killed your uncle...for that I’m grateful. But...”
I couldn’t ask.
I couldn’t not ask.
My voice abandoned me.
“What? What do you want to know?” His eyebrows tugged over his gaze, shadowing him. “I’ll answer anything you want.”
My heart raced. “What part of this did you play, Gil? Did you...did you hurt those girls?” My question fell like unexploded dynamite, dangerous and volatile.
Silence stole the carnage before Gil shifted and sucked in a breath. His stare smoked with apology. “I painted them.” He shrugged, holding up his palms. “It was my paint on their skin.”
I trembled. “I don’t want to believe that.”
“It’s true.”
“I can’t believe you could paint someone knowing they would die.”
His face fell. “I painted you.”
Silence fell.
Truth fell.
Despair fell.
My insides collapsed into one another.
He’d painted me in olives. He’d prepared to sacrifice me.
If he could do that to someone who’d been in his bed and in his heart...what made strangers any different?
The chilly warehouse prickled my arms. “Those people online and the ones on the street...they want you dead.”
“I know.” He no longer glittered with the ice he’d used to keep me at bay but wore a cape of desolation. Of acceptance that everything had gone wrong and the only thing he could do now was pay the price. “I’m aware that I’ve fucked everything up all over again. And Olive will pay the most.”
“What if they put you away for decades?”
“I’ll find her a family worthy of having her love before it’s too late.”
“And you? What will you do?”
He gave me the saddest, rawest smile. “I’ll tell the truth. I’m done hiding, O. When they come for me, I’m going to tell them...everything.”
Chapter Fifteen
______________________________
Olin
“THANK YOU FOR seeing us, Miss Moss.”
I nodded, cupping my warm cup of tea with icy hands. “You’re welcome.”
They weren’t welcome, but it wasn’t like I had a choice. I’d woken to a rude knock at seven a.m. I’d made the mistake of opening it. I now stood in my pyjamas and dressing gown in an apartment that felt even more lonely and oppressive now that Olive had gone home, and did my best to shake away the nightmares.
Nightmares of Gil being given the death sentence. Of him being fried in an electric chair. Of Olive going to live in a whore-house with a backpack stained in dumpster dirt. Of Ms Tallup selling her off to the highest bidder.
It’d been three days since I’d dropped Olive off.
And I was going out of my mind.
I needed to do something.
Go somewhere.
Figure out what the hell I should do from here.
“Are you okay? Healthwise?” Two new officers interrogated me today. Two women. One plump with her uniform neatly pressed and her name tag, Gloria, proudly pinned to her breast, and the other as skinny as a pen with her hair tied tight at the base of her nape.
“I’m fine. I wasn’t hurt.”
“You were found naked in a forest, on a cold evening in England. It’s lucky you didn’t have hypothermia.”
“The adrenaline kept me warm.” I stared into my milky tea, wishing I’d never opened my door. What did they want? What could I tell them that would benefit anyone?
Almost as if they sensed my unwillingness, they jumped straight to their point. “Can you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night Gilbert Clark painted you and took you into Lickey Hills Country Park?”
I looked up. “I already told the officers who found me.”
“Yes, but we’d like to hear it again.”
“There isn’t anything to add.”
Gloria scowled. “Just in your own words, please give us an account of the evening in question.”