“Where did you learn to paint like that?” I asked quietly, doing my best to hide my trembles.
The link I’d had with him was gone. He’d successfully pushed me away so he no longer seemed affected by me.
He sighed heavily.
I tasted impatience.
Felt his annoyance.
The impertinent dismissal.
The closed off heart.
Just like before.
Exactly like before.
My mouth turned dry.
My heart curled around itself in safety.
Before he could reply, my pain exploded outward. I’d asked gently. I’d waited patiently. If this was the last time I’d see him, I needed to know.
I need to know so I can move on.
“Why did you walk away?” I swiped at my cheek. “Without a single word? Why did you let me fall in love with you if you knew you didn’t want me?”
The air turned instantly oppressive.
The warehouse was no longer a building but a prison, and I was trapped with Gil as he slowly unwound his legs and arms and pushed off predator-slow from his table. His eyes flickered with truth but his lips delivered lies. “I decided I didn’t like school.”
“You were almost finished. You managed to stay an extra two years. You could’ve—”
“Enough.” Coming toward me, he kept his chin down, shading his eyes with dark eyebrows. His untidy hair licked his eyelashes, slicing his forehead with black strands. “Leave, Olin. You’ve been here too long already.”
I backed toward the door like a coward. I would never have run from him before. I’d even fought some of his battles for him. I’d stuck up for him with Ms Tallup—the teacher from hell. I’d snuck money into his backpack when he wasn’t looking so he could buy groceries.
I’m not afraid of him.
Are you sure about that?
“Gil...I just want to understand.”
“There’s nothing to understand.” He herded me toward the exit, efficiently, ruthlessly. For every step I took, he took one, hunting me down. His hands remained balled at his sides, his jaw tight and body tense.
He would’ve been insanely handsome if it hadn’t been for the harsh edge that warned this wasn’t a game for him. I was a threat, and he wouldn’t hesitate to deal with that threat with whatever means necessary.
“I tried to move on.” I held my chin higher, glad my voice didn’t wobble. “I almost succeeded. But seeing you again? It’s just reminded me that so much didn’t make sense. You were the one who chased me, remember? You were the one who—”
“I remember.” He kept stalking me, smooth and unruffled—nothing like the wild boy in school. I didn’t think this version knew how to smile or laugh. He’d mastered the scowl and guarded walls to the point it was a physical reprimand.
“If you remember, then talk to me. Let’s go for a drink. Catch up. Tell me what you did for the past few years and how you started Total Trickery.”
“I’m not interested in talking.” The way his voice thickened like a river churning gravel made me hesitate.
My heart raced. I tilted my head. “What are you interested in?” It was a breathy question. A gambling question. Technically, I knew what he was interested in.
Throwing me from his warehouse.
But there was something else.
Something just beneath the surface.
Something he didn’t have the strength to acknowledge.
“Nothing you can give me. Not anymore.” He stopped an arm’s length away. I stepped back, only to slam against the large metal roller door. The clang vibrated through my bones, making me wince.
He seemed bigger, blacker, more determined to scar me forever. “I’ve paid you. Our deal is done. I need you to go now.”
I couldn’t tear my eyes from his. “Can I come by sometime...just to say hi?”
“No.” He opened the pedestrian access beside me. “Like I warned you before, you are no longer welcome here. I appreciate your help today. I’m grateful for your time. But you’re not permitted to visit. Forget about me because I have nothing to give you.”
“Forget about you like you forgot about me?”
His jaw worked. “I didn’t forget you.”
“You left me.”
“We were kids. It meant nothing.” His voice sounded like scissors, sharp and deliberate, slicing through my attempt at talking. “I won’t reminisce with you, Olin. I’m not trying to be cruel. I just...I really need you to go and promise me you won’t ever come ba—”
“You’ve moved on. I get it.” I clutched my bag to my side. The crinkle of the envelope inside reminded me I’d fulfilled why I was here. Trying to talk to him was utterly pointless, and I had groceries to buy so I didn’t starve tonight.
Common sense tried to bow me into surrender. My eyes flickered to the door.
But...
But.
I squared my shoulders, speaking my thoughts aloud rather than keeping them silent. “You know...if I walk out of here now, without trying, I’ll forever wonder. So...here it goes.” I forced myself to smile kindly—to let him know I didn’t hold grudges or hate.
I might forgive him, but I would never settle unless he talked to me...just once.
He owed me that.
Surely, he owes me that.
“Olin, stop—” He held up his hand, but it was too late.
“I was in love with you. Did you know that? Of course you knew that. I told you. So many times. And even if I didn’t, it was obvious. I was totally, stupidly besotted in only the way a silly teenage girl can be. I had fantasies of saving you. Moving you into my house. Making you my family to replace those we didn’t want. And I know you loved me too. You told me with every touch, Gil. Every nickname.”
His gaze flew to my shoulder, no doubt thinking of the tattoo hidden on my back. Then his eyes landed back on mine, lashing me in place with unyielding insolence.
“That day...the day I invited you to my place. I wanted to give you everything.” I blushed. “So many times, we came close to kissing. So many times, we were this close. In fact, we kinda did kiss if you count a quick brush a kiss. We both wanted it. But then...you cut me out with no explanation. You broke up with me so easily. You humiliated me. You ignored me from that point on. You—”
“It’s in the past.” His teeth bared between indignant lips. “I can’t change what I did. Just like I can’t change a great number of things, no matter how much I wish I could.”
I stilled. “What things?”
He sighed, rubbing his eyes with harsh fingers. “Doesn’t matter.”
“It obviously does.”
He groaned, a tormented sound deep in his chest. “You need to go now.”
“Do you...do you wish you hadn’t broken up with me?”
His eyebrows tugged down, annoyed at his slip. “What do you want from me, Olin? I’m being as courteous as I can, but you’re not listening to me. I need you to leave.” His eyes battled with hot and cold. “Never come back.”
“I need to know why.”
“You don’t need to know. I had my reasons, and those reasons still stand. That’s enough.”
“For you maybe. But not for me. You have to see it from my point of view.”