“Ms Moss?” the man prompted. “The vehicle and license plate?”
Every part of me wanted to go to Gil. To shake him back to the world of the living and demand to know what he was hiding. He almost crippled beneath the weight of whatever he carried. I could forgive him for what he’d done to me just from the way he stared helplessly into nothing.
Stared as if he had no one. No one to lean on. No one to help.
I’d been the one he could turn to once upon a time.
I would be her again.
Help him.
My spine straightened, my headache faded, and I said in a clear, crisp voice, “The van was older. White with blue stripes. A Mazda, I think. And the license plate was XT867ND.”
The stream of fibs flowed seamlessly.
Gil jerked as if I’d yanked him back from Hell. His gaze met mine, holding far longer than he should in the presence of police.
My skin prickled with the utmost gratefulness that shone there. My heart broke for the way he stared at me, as if he couldn’t stop loving me even though he wished he could.
He made me believe in us.
He made me cling to decaying hope.
Forcibly looking away from him, I focused on the police. “Is that everything?”
The two cops looked at each other, lack of belief on their faces but unable to do anything about it.
I’d answered their questions.
We weren’t the criminals.
He was out there. In a black van. Making Gil’s life an utter nightmare.
I hate this.
I hated feeling so trapped. So alone. So afraid.
Gil moved to stand beside me, his hand twitching as if fighting the urge to touch me.
A habit from our youth.
A desire to touch and reaffirm that the other was safe.
The police didn’t move for a moment, studying us closely.
The four of us stood there, waiting for someone to back down.
Finally, the man coughed and tucked his notebook into his front pocket. “We’ll be in touch.”
The woman never took her intense gaze off Gil. Distrust once again flickered over her features. “You sure you’re all right, Ms Moss?”
I answered her question, all while she stared Gil down. “Yes, I’m very lucky Gilbert was there. I’m safe with him.”
Are you?
Are you truly?
The cops pursed their lips as if sensing my lack of conviction. One final stare and they nodded. “Okay, then.”
“I’ll walk you out.” Gil strode with long legs to the exit and wrenched it open for them. He didn’t say goodbye as they stepped through it.
With a grunt, he slammed it closed. Hard. So hard it rattled the entire roller door, echoing around the warehouse with fury.
Silence chased the twang, filling all the corners, suffocating all the air.
We stayed in that soundless cocoon for ages, Gil bracing himself on the door as if unable to stand unassisted, me soothing my aching head and trying to delete my confusion.
I honestly didn’t know what was expected or what would come next.
All I knew was I was tired.
Exhausted.
And I wanted to be alone.
I’d been on my own so much of my life that it was the only way I could relax. The only way I truly felt safe...with only my thoughts and worry for company.
I’d lied for him. I’d drained myself of everything at his request.
I was spent.
Go.
Stepping toward the exit, my motion snapped Gil back into awareness. He flicked the lock on the door, preventing anyone from entering or leaving. Turning to face me, he let go of the coldness in his eyes, sighing heavily. “I know you have no right to trust me. I know I’ve been nothing but a bastard since you walked back into my life. But...I can never repay you for what you just did.” He moved toward me, stiff and sore. “Thank you...from the bottom of my heart.”
My body wanted to collapse in relief. My heart wanted to scream for everything.
I shivered as he closed the distance between us, predator slow, as if he didn’t know if I’d run or strike.
Hugging myself at the sudden chill in my blood, I asked quietly, “Why did I just lie to the police?”
“Because I asked you to.” He gave me a complicated, grief-stricken smile.
“Because you begged me to.”
He nodded gravely. “Because I begged you to.”
“Will you tell me why?”
“No.”
“Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?” My arms wrapped tighter around me. “Don’t you think I deserve to know why you let that arsehole beat you up? Don’t you think I deserve to know why you knocked me out? Don’t you think I deserve—”
“You deserve all those answers and more.” He raked a hand through his wild hair, only making the mess worse. “It doesn’t mean I can give them to you.” Brushing past me, he headed toward the trestle where I’d placed the thick envelope of cash.
His jaw worked as he plucked it with fingers meant to paint and create. His shoulders tensed as he turned to face me, holding the money up, offering it to me all over again. “You earned this. Take it.”
I fought the hiccup in my heart and arched my chin. “I took what was owed. The rest you overpaid.”
“I just said I can never repay you for what you did. There is no such thing as overpayment. Take it.”
“No.”
“Isn’t it up to me to pay a canvas what I think she’s worth?”
My voice cracked with residual pain. “You cheapened me.”
His eyes darkened; his forehead furrowed. “Cheapened you? How?”
“You paid me for a kiss. You—”
“That’s what you think?” He threw the money down as if it was contaminated. “What an idiotic thing—”
“Gil.”
His nostrils flared, anger glowing on his tortured face. “You’ll take a kiss, you’ll goddamn lie for me, yet my money isn’t good enough for you?”
I stepped toward him, carefully, fearfully. “Pay me in answers. I’ll accept those.”
His chest heaved as he sucked in a breath. “That’s a currency I can’t afford.”
“Why? What’s happened to you, Gil? What’s going on? What are you so afraid—”
“I’m not afraid.”
I smiled sadly. “You are. It’s painfully obvious.”
He crossed his arms, forming an impenetrable barrier around him. “Stop.”
“But if I do, you’ll still be dealing with this nightmare...alone.” I dropped my arms, spreading my hands in surrender. “I found you again by some crazy twist of fate. Our connection is still there, even if you deny it. I’m willing to help you, Gil, just like we helped each other in the past. I forgive you for hurting me. I’ll be patient if you need time. But...I can’t walk away when I know—”
“You know nothing.”
“I know enough that you’re alone in this and I made a promise a long time ago that you’d never be alone again.”
He flinched. “Promises are easy things to break.”
“Not mine.”
“I broke plenty.” His voice trespassed on bitterness. “I left you.”
“You said you had reasons.”
He laughed icily. “You’re willing to forgive me for that too? Fuck, what do I have to do to you to make you hate me?”