Something he was sure neither of them had felt before this moment. The tiny flare of fear he could feel in her, the tremulous beat of her heart, and the subtle change in her scent made that clear to him. She was afraid of trusting him with her heart, but she didn’t need to fear. If she offered it to him, he would treat it with the utmost care, would cherish it.
And he would offer his in return.
“This, Mackenzie.” He pressed a hand to his chest, flattening his palm over his heart, and his brow furrowed as he gave up trying to control his emotions, as he let them flood him so she could sense them and see them in his eyes. “Gods, I cannot stop thinking about you, and I feel sure that if you left me as Iolanthe did, I would never stop thinking about you. I would search to the uncharted edges of Hell for you, would scour every inch of the mortal world, and I wouldn’t give up until I found you. I would fight for you.”
“Because you want your fated one.” She hugged herself tighter and fear gripped him as he saw the wall coming up, as her eyes lost all warmth.
“No,” he bit out and took a hard step towards her, his fear abating a little when she didn’t move away from him, when she let him be closer to her and didn’t push him away. “Not because I want my fated one.”
He wasn’t sure how to convince her of that.
His eyes widened slightly as it hit him.
“If you told me to never claim you as my mate, I would not. I would deny these ridiculous instincts and not take your blood if that would prove to you that my feelings for you are real and I don’t just want my ki’ara.”
Her hand flew to her throat, her eyes as round as full moons. “You can’t have my blood.”
The acrid scent of her fear hit him hard and he growled as he realised he was messing things up. She backed off a step as her pulse jacked up in his ears, and he wanted to growl again as he realised it was because she thought he was angry she was denying him her blood.
He held his hands up, palms facing her.
He should have known the mention of taking her blood would be a mistake. Witches had caged her and stolen her blood, had murdered her family in pursuit of that precious liquid. He couldn’t blame her for being protective of it.
The hope that had been slowly blooming inside him faded a little as he thought about what she had been through, about how defensive she looked as she stood with her hand on her throat, her wide eyes filled with horror and fear.
Maybe this thing between them had been doomed from the very start. His instincts as her fated male were going to press him to mate with her, to take her blood and bind them together. They would have him on edge all the time, vicious around any male until she was his and he had claimed her.
Fight as he might, he wasn’t sure he would be able to resist the allure of her blood and the call of the bond.
He wasn’t sure it was wise to deny it.
It was dangerous enough for normal elves to ignore the mating instinct, but for an elf like him it was a thousand times worse. The darkness he had courted strengthened his need to claim her, constantly snarled and writhed inside him, an oily tide that smothered his more sensible side. Even now, mere minutes after he had vowed to never take her blood, he couldn’t stop thinking about sinking his fangs into her delicate flesh to mark her and claim her.
Maybe it was better he walked away right now and let her go. He didn’t want to hurt her, and he feared he would end up doing just that if he remained near her. He would fight his instincts, but he was no fool. He was soul-deep aware there would come a moment when he wasn’t strong enough to hold them back, when the temptation was too great.
She would never forgive him if he crossed that line.
He went to take a step back.
Her soft words stopped him in his tracks.
“We can just see where things go. It’s not a definite no… but I need time… I need to know these feelings I have are real and so are yours.”
He blinked and met her gaze, relaxed a little as he stared into her eyes, fascinated by the fire that flickered against the gold of her irises, made to look all the brighter by the reddish-brown makeup that surrounded her eyes. The tension that had been filling him melted away as her words ran around his head and seeped deep into his soul, soothing the darkness, calming it until he no longer felt a desperate need to stake a claim on her.
Resolve filled him instead, determination to take this chance she had given him and prove to her that the attraction they felt, and the emotions steadily growing inside them, were real.
“Can you give me that?” she whispered, her eyes darting between his, searching them.
He nodded. “I’ll give you all the time you need and I’ll do my best to ignore my instincts and keep them under control, but… if they get too much… I might have to leave for a while.”
And it would kill him.
“Oh,” she murmured, her eyebrows rising high on her forehead, her eyes filling with a soft look of surprise, and he fancied it was tinged with disappointment, imagined her wanting him to stay at her side no matter what.
Hoped she would miss him like crazy if he had to leave her, just as he would miss her.
A strange chirruping sound cut through the tense silence and Mackenzie stiffened, her shoulders going rigid just as they had been relaxing and she had looked on the verge of saying something.
Something he had hoped would be a request for him to remain with her no matter what.
She fished her phone from the pocket of her burgundy leathers and scowled at it, and then at him. “It’s a message. From Syn. She says you threatened her.”
Fire lit her irises.
Hartt crossed the room in a handful of strides, snatched the device from her and glared at the screen. “I did not. She threatened me. How do I make it tell her that?”
He wanted to growl when Mackenzie snatched the phone back and tucked it to her chest. Her mouth flapped open and for a moment he thought she would accuse him of lying, would side with her friend over him, but then she snapped it closed and frowned.
She pulled the phone away from her chest and sighed as she glanced at the screen. “It does sound like her. She was a little upset, and with good reason.”
“Because I hurt you. I am sorry, Mackenzie. I truly am. I thought I needed time to get my head straight and that is the only reason I didn’t stop you from leaving. Only it turned out my head was on straight all along. I realised that when I returned to the guild.” He reached for her hand, wanted to sigh as she let him take hold of it and didn’t reject him.
“You didn’t go back to Underworld?” Her golden eyes darted between his again.
He shook his head. “There was nothing for me there. Harbin made me realise what I was looking for wasn’t at the guild either. Well, it wasn’t at my guild.”
She twisted her hand in his and toyed with his fingers, her eyes remaining locked on his. “How did this Harbin character make you realise it?”
She looked as if she was fishing now, wanting to hear how crazy he was about her and that he hadn’t been able to live without her.
“We got into a fight.” He rubbed his eyes as he thought about that, must have missed her horrified look but didn’t miss her gasp.
“You got into a fight?”
“It’s the instincts. Being apart from you made me anxious, and normally both Harbin and I release any pent-up energy or work out aggression by sparring with each other.”