I stilled, frowning, and dropping my forehead down to rest against Ollie’s as she suddenly started to quake from head to toe. A warm rush of wetness raced across my fingers, and a soft sigh slipped out from behind her clamped hands.
“No. I keep meaning to but haven’t had the time or a weekend free.” And I had more important things on my mind lately.
I looked down at the girl who was glaring up at me. The old man wouldn’t like this turn of events at all. It was supposed to be hands off. The thought made me grin down at Ollie. I wasn’t shocked when one of her fists knocked into my chest.
“Well, when Harlen and I went upstairs, there was no squeak. No creak. No noise at all. I even ran up and down the steps a couple of times. There was nothing.” I heard him sigh, and there was another thump on the door like he was pushing away from the wood. “Anyway, I’m going to crawl into Harlen’s bed. This was a weird night, and I have a bad feeling. Don’t send Ollie back upstairs.”
I looked at Ollie and told her more than him, “Don’t worry; she isn’t going anywhere.”
And not just for tonight. I also had a bad feeling, that odd tingling at the back of my neck that indicated shit was about to get real, and I needed to be on high alert.
Before things went any further between us tonight, I tucked her head under my chin, and wrapped my arms around her tight enough she couldn’t get away. I didn’t want to rush her, or give her another excuse to use when she tried to put distance between us now that she thought I was in danger because of her. “Let’s talk tomorrow. We can figure out some kind of plan and you can tell me the reason why you’re worried someone is watching you. When you told me you didn’t have a choice about what happened before, I wasn’t ready to listen.” I squeezed her until she squeaked. “Now I am.”
She must’ve been lost in her own thoughts about the situation because for once she didn’t argue and settled quietly inside the cage I created with my embrace.
Whether she was playing the role of friend or foe, I was keeping Ollie close.
So close it would be impossible to tell where I started and she ended.
Ollie
Sneaking out of Huck’s bed early in the morning was easier than I thought it was going to be. After all, we’d been up late, and as Vernon mentioned, it was a weird night. He was obviously exhausted and had faint shadows under his eyes, indicating he was worn out, even as he slept soundly. It was also a piece of cake to tip-toe up the stairs now that they no longer squeaked with each step. I didn’t want to think about the why or how behind the suddenly silent steps. All I knew was that I now needed to get out of the house and far away from Huck, almost as badly as I wanted to get close to him not even a day ago.
My heart twisted painfully as I grabbed a stuffed duffel bag I kept packed and stored in a far corner of the room. I wanted the option to run as quickly as possible if I ever had proof that Sawyer was an immediate threat. Logically, I knew there was no way he could be creeping around in the dark and lurking around the house, fixing the noisy stairs while we were in class—he was in a wheelchair, after all—but fear ruled out any kind of rational thinking where my forever nemesis was concerned.
Obviously, I needed to stop making the wrong choices where Huck and Sawyer were concerned.
I had to stop being selfish and putting my own thoughts and feelings first. Huck tried to tell me from the moment I trespassed into his resituated life that I would bring it all crashing down, and I hadn’t cared. All I could see in my tunnel vision were scenes of my own redemption. All I could feel was the first easy breath I’d taken since he’d been so brutally ripped from my life. It wasn’t until I saw how spooked Vernon was, or the sharp concern on Huck’s handsome face, that I realized how right he’d been that I could possibly put other innocent people in the line of fire. I’d already done it once to that poor boy from college, but he’d been a stranger, so the guilt hadn’t been nearly as bad as it was right now.
I finally understood Huck’s resentment and all the reasons why he wanted nothing to do with me when I first showed up. I was always thinking of myself to the point I could barely see anyone else.
From the jump, I’d been wrong. Completely, inexplicably wrong.
I never should have let Sawyer use my mother as a weapon against me. And once he started, I should’ve been honest with her about what he was doing. Maybe she would’ve left to protect me, instead of having me suffer to protect her. It was such a convoluted mess.
And I never should’ve brought the past to Huck’s front door after all he’d done to leave it behind.
I hurt him, and he’d healed. Then I’d popped back up, because I had nowhere else to go, and was still as clueless and clumsy as I’d been at fourteen, and tore his scars wide open.
I was a really bad person. Even more so because I knew I would never forget the way his hands felt moving over my skin last night. I had no doubt the way he tasted was going to be a memory that haunted me until I died.
Mercer was correct. There was no way to describe the difference between being with someone just because, and being with someone because you really wanted to. Honestly, it passed through my mind that Huck was the only one I ever needed, but now, he was also the only one I ever wanted. He was the only one I was starting to wonder if I could live without.
Which meant I had to do what he’d told me to do from the get-go.
I had to get as far away from him as possible. I needed to make sure Sawyer had no reason to mess with Huck’s life. I’d been using Huck as a shield, but he’d already taken more than enough bullets for me. If I didn’t do something now, there was no telling what his half brother might do to him, or how badly I could hurt him inadvertently.
And I couldn’t bear the thought of that happening. I’d done enough damage already.
I’d been so messed up that he’d been disowned and effectively run out of town because of me that I let people who had zero consideration for me take over my entire life. If something tragic happened to Huck because of my dumb decisions and inability to fight for myself, I knew I would never get over it.
I tried to call Mercer as I left the house that no longer felt like an impenetrable shelter. Of course, she didn’t answer. The bad thing about keeping to myself was that I had no one to rely on when I was in a bind. I knew I needed to get as far away from Huck and his friends as quickly as possible, but I also needed a minute to put an actual plan together. It wasn’t like I had a ton of money on hand to flee with.
I needed someone to talk to.
Someone to share my fear with.
Since Huck was out of the question, and Mercer was clearly dealing with her own issues, that left the only other person I currently trusted.
Mr. Peters.
He didn’t know everything about my past or how I was connected to Huck, but he knew enough. I told him I’d just lost my mother and that money was tight when I first begged him to move into the Victorian. And even without an explanation, he understood that I was afraid and needed help. Without question, he’d taken my side when Huck tried to send me away. He was the only person I could turn to right now, but again, I didn’t want him to be in danger because of me, so I had to make some quick decisions and hope they didn’t bite me in the ass down the road.