Laurel groaned. Why couldn’t life ever be simple?
“Are you okay?” Kennedy asked kindly, her pale blue eyes evaluating each and every clench of Laurel’s jaw.
“Yes, thanks.” Laurel smiled and gently took her arm back. It was new and a little intimidating to have so many people concerned about her wellbeing. Sometimes it could feel invasive, though she knew they didn’t mean it to be. Especially when, at that very moment, she was already doing so much better than she’d ever been before in her lifetime.
Her sister-in-law edged nearer. “Do you want me to call James to come spend some time with you? I’m not sure what’s going on, but it seems like you could use someone in your corner.”
Devon glared at Nolan. She might have been the smallest of the women gathered around, but she was intense. She and Devra stood shoulder to shoulder. The contrast between their blond and black hair was dramatic, and yet each of them was gorgeous. They were made of the same stuff—dignity, power, and self-assuredness.
Laurel hoped one day she could be more like them. Wren too. Jordan’s wife, much taller than her friends, peeked over their shoulders, then scowled at Nolan too.
“Why do you all assume I did something stupid?” He shrugged.
Laurel couldn’t help it—she laughed. “To be fair, Jace started it.”
“See.” Nolan winked at her and she thought, maybe for the first time in forever, that everything was going to be okay. This could be her future, if she adapted and allowed herself to grow. Nolan had been right about that.
“Well, that I believe.” Kennedy shook her head, setting her wavy platinum hair dancing around her. “He has the look of a troublemaker. An awfully sexy one, mind you, but a heartbreaker for sure.”
“Don’t let Marcus hear you talking like that.” Sola nudged her co-worker with her elbow and Kennedy groaned.
“Do not start acting like Nolan, please. One of him is enough on our team.”
Nolan scooched closer to Sola, probably to take the heat off himself. “You know, she has a point. Why is it that Marcus always ends up covering your ass on missions, huh?”
“We work well together.” Kennedy shrugged. “That doesn’t mean there’s anything else going on. I’ve pretty much sworn off men—they’re more trouble than they’re worth. I have a vibrator. I can take care of myself without the inevitable disappointment.”
Laurel thought she had a point. Maybe with some of their spare cash she should treat herself to a mechanical boyfriend and leave the rest of this stuff alone before she fucked up one of the best things in her life: her partnership with Jace.
Devon cracked up at that. “If you think sex toys can replace a man, or five, who know their way around a woman’s body, you’ve been doing this wrong, friend.”
“Well, I’m not about to argue with that. I suck at dating.” Kennedy’s wry smile brimmed with sadness. “Which is why I certainly wouldn’t screw around with someone I entrust my life to regularly. Could you imagine getting in a fight then being distracted in the middle of one of our ops? I wouldn’t put myself or any of you in a deadly position like that. Our jobs are a little more dangerous than most, you know?”
“You’re right. That sounds like a horrible idea.” Why did Sola seem bummed at the revelation? Maybe she was more into Aarav than she was letting on. Whew. Laurel hated to think it, but she was glad she wasn’t the only one around there with issues. It made her feel less broken, and…oddly…more normal. Huh.
These people were so open and made her comfortable. Before she realized it, she said, “I hear you about swearing off guys. I did the same. I haven’t been with anyone, well, ever, really. You know in a consenting relationship anyway, and now I’m stuck day and night with both Jace and Nolan being all…”
Laurel waved her hands at Nolan’s ripped abs and that alluring V that vanished beneath the waistband of his shorts. She didn’t blame Jace for dipping his hand inside and copping a feel of the prominent bulge the thin cotton couldn’t disguise when he was working out, which he spent a significant portion of each day doing.
“I could see where that could get frustrating.” Devra grinned. “Believe it or not, you and I have some things in common. Did you know Trevon and I were married before we met Quinn, but we, uh, didn’t consummate our vows until after he came into the picture?”
“Seriously?” Laurel leaned forward. “You three seem so perfect together, and Trevon adores you.”
“Sometimes it takes the right combination to unlock the bullshit we’re carrying around that’s holding us back. And no one would blame you at all for having more than the usual share of that.” Devra smiled kindly.
Which reminded Laurel… She looked to Kennedy. “Nolan mentioned that there’s counseling available through the Shields for agents and informants.”
She cleared her throat, wondering if it had been a mistake to ask for help, but Kennedy bridged what could have been an awkward gap and drew out her phone without question.
“Girl, yeah. I put info about it in the pile of papers that went into your onboarding packet. I should have circled back to make sure you’d read through it. I’m sending you a link to the mental health site right now. Your username and password are in the behavioral health folder. Dig it up, log in, read the therapists’ bios and pick someone you think could help. You can set up a meeting to get to know them, and if it’s a good fit, Jordan’s insurance will take care of the rest. Anything you need, we’ll make sure you have it.” Kennedy looked up at Wren, who smiled sadly.
“Jordan and I lost someone very special to us. It wrecked us for a long time and we only recently found each other again.” Wren lowered her voice. “Learn from our mistakes. Get help and work through your issues, so you can figure out what you really want before you miss out on what could be the best thing in your life.”
“Are you implying I should hook up with Jace?”
“Fuck yes.” Devon was first to say it, but the rest of the women nodded. “It’s obvious you two belong together.”
“What if he’s not the only guy I’m interested in?” Laurel scanned the room waiting to see what the women’s reaction would be. All of them were grinning and Nolan looked like he might pass out from holding his breath.
“If you’re expecting one of us to tell you that it’s wrong to want two men for yourself, you’ll be waiting until your pussy dries up and falls off. Go ahead, be a greedy bitch.” Devon didn’t mess around. Laurel could see why James adored her. “I never imagined this is how my life would turn out, but being spoiled by my two guys and the rest of their friends—not only in bed but through all of life’s ups and downs—yeah, it’s the best thing I have going.”
Laurel snorted at Devon’s irreverence, but she was touched too. Something in her unfurled, and she peeked at Nolan’s reaction out of the corner of her eye.
He held his hand out to her. “Maybe we should go check in on Jace?”
It certainly didn’t make her like him any less when he thought of her best friend at least as much as he was considering the ramifications for himself or even her.