“Oh yes, we do!” Delilah snapped. “She’s in trouble.”
“The only way to help her is to let her fight this one alone. Plus, the Feds have a plan. Don’t worry, they’re going to protect her,” Queen said.
“More like use her,” Delilah mumbled.
“Armand is working with us, now. He’s going with her to Saudi Arabia. He’s going to help us get inside. When he returns, so will she. You will see,” Queen said. “This nightmare will be over, and she will be safe. Her and the baby.”
“It’s happening all over again.” Delilah set the beer down. “People, men, friends, whomever, someone is using one of us. Making us their pawns in their games.”
“What are you talking about?” Queen asked. “Are you still upset with Mother Abigail?”
The last six hours crushed down on Delilah, and she felt herself weaken. Her friend sat forward, alarmed. Delilah did her best to cover her distress with her hands, but the tears kept flowing. “Dee? She’s going to be okay. We have to trust the system. Let it play out. She’ll be okay, I promise you.”
“The system! How can you? What has any of it ever done for either of us, Queen?”
“Whoa,” Queen said. “What is this really about? Don’t say Goodiva because I can tell it’s not.”
“Mama! You told Mama that you killed Peter Collins after we swore we would never tell any adult as kids! You told her that we all stood there and watched him die.” Delilah was unable to pull back her hurt and rage when she shouted at her. “Well? Didn’t you! Answer me! Didn’t you! After I begged you to keep quiet. You told her.”
“I was a kid,” Queen stammered.
“So the fuck was I! And I knew to keep my mouth shut!” Delilah countered.
“Is this what Mother Abigail was holding over your mother? The big secret we’ve been trying to protect the world from knowing?” Queen asked.
Delilah nodded her head.
“I should have known,” Queen sighed.
“That’s only the beginning, honey. You’re going to love this one. My mother blackmailed your mother into dropping the charges against Mr. Collins,” Delilah's gaze slowly lifted to latch on to Queen’s. “She tricked you into your little confession and recorded all of it. She destroyed your life. Queen, she did all of it for the approval of that witch. That’s the secret.”
“She didn’t do it for approval. She did it for you,” Queen said.
“You’re right. She did it for me. For me only. And no one cared about what happened to you. I’m sorry, for it Queen. I’m sorry that this happened. I’m so sorry,” Delilah wept.
Queen left her chair. She walked over to Delilah and hugged her. Delilah clung to her, crying against her shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“Stop,” Queen said.
“How can you forgive any of us for what we’ve done to you?” Delilah asked.
Queen forced her to look up and into her eyes. “There is no we. You didn’t do anything. And this isn’t a surprise to me. I know what Delores did. I know what Mother Abigail did. I’ve always known. I just kept it a secret so you wouldn’t blame yourself. You were so damn insistent on us keeping guard over this secret, and we were only kids. Goodiva and I decided together the best secret is keeping this from you.”
“She knew too?”
Queen left the room and went to the bathroom, and brought back tissue. Delilah felt as if the world had stopped spinning and the oxygen had been siphoned off the planet.
“Here, take it,” Queen offered her the tissue.
“No.”
“Take it!” she insisted.
“What do you mean you both knew and kept it a secret from me? Who told you? How did you know?”
Queen sat next to Delilah and wiped her tears for her. She sighed with deep patience and understanding before she explained further. “Mama told me. She was a drunk, Dee. Drunks don’t keep secrets.” Queen chuckled. “After your mom did her little job on her Mama drank for days. And I nursed her through it all. She wasn’t grateful during her sober moments. She was angrier than I’d ever seen her. She told me about the recording and said I brought it on myself. It was all my fault that Peter Collins chose me. It was my fault that I couldn’t defend myself.”
They were out of beer, so Queen couldn’t finish one-off to share the rest of the story. It was hard for her, but she continued.
“Your mom did that to you?” Delilah asked.
Queen nodded. “She claimed she tried to defend me, but after hearing my confession on tape, she knew I’d never been worth the effort. I humiliated her. Can you believe that? After everything that woman had done to me, she said I humiliated her.”
“Debbie has issues,” Delilah mumbled.
“No kidding,” Queen chuckled. “Big issues. My mother hated everything and told me often. She hated giving birth to me, she hated raising me, she felt I destroyed her life. That night after she got so drunk she blacked out, I ran away, again. This time I went to Shelly’s house. We wanted to tell you, Dee. I swear we did. We were just too scared you’d be angry with us. You were smarter than us, and your plan protected us. I ruined everything. We thought your mother would break us up as friends. So we agreed to never say anything. One more secret. This one I kept.”
“We were kids. It was an accident that Peter Collins fell into that well. There was no way we could have saved him,” Delilah reasoned.
“I know, I know,” Queen assured her. “What I’m saying is, I didn’t care that your mother taped me.”
“Why not? You should have. You trusted her,” Delilah reasoned.
“She was good to me. And so was Mother Abigail, Dee. They both were.”
“No, they weren’t; you don’t understand,” Delilah scoffed.
“Yes, they were. When you left to go off to Massachusetts, Mother Abigail stepped up with her support of me. She helped keep our lights on at our house. And she made sure food was delivered during some of the worst snowstorms in this town. She helped me get little odd jobs in town. You know how it went. She and Charles got me into the police academy. Mother Abigail pretty much moved my life toward something positive. And you know why she did this. Momma was nothing more than a burden to me from the day I could stand and wipe my own butt. She put the pressure on me.”
“What Abigail did was not helping. It was child labor. It’s called abuse!” Delilah insisted.
“You have to stop this.”
“Stop what?” Delilah asked.
“Stop judging everyone, protecting everyone, finding reasons to be angry and defensive over everything and everyone,” said Queen.
“That’s not what I’m doing—”
“You have your past and your way of living with it. I have mine. You don’t get to tell me how to deal with all of this crap. Not anymore. Goodiva is gone. She’s a grown woman, Dee. Let her learn whatever lesson is out there for her without you. We both have to. It’s time we all grew up and fought our own battles. Don’t you think?”
DELILAH COULDN’T COUNTER her statement with a greater argument against freedom. She stood there, holding on to her pain like a shield. Without her righteous anger over her pain, what did she have left? She didn’t know how to lower her defenses. They were at war with the world. How would it all end if she didn’t plan for the worst?