“Let’s get you a drink and then back to the hospital. I think you need her more than she needs you right now.”
I nod, the thought of getting back to Poppy easing the fury. “I’ll take care of her, Ryanne.”
“I do not doubt that.”
“Natasha may have thought she was vulnerable, but—”
“This wasn’t your fault,” she cuts me off.
“No, it wasn’t,” Dad agrees. “Let that go.”
“I want to hurt them.”
“So do I. Focus on priorities and lock that away.”
Chapter 26
Poppy
My nurse glances over her shoulder, her eyes loaded with sympathy and regret. I wait for the urge to scream, yell, cry, and throw something to kick in, but it never does.
The numbness chills me to my bones.
A tinge in my leg barely registers, and I welcome the discomfort. It makes this all more real.
I was pregnant.
My baby is gone.
The door slowly opens, Evin slipping in quietly on the assumption I’m asleep. God, what I’d do to be asleep right now and wake up from this nightmare that has become my life. Instead, I’m fully awake, and the horror is real. How do I break the news? What do you tell your husband when you’ve lost your career and your child in the same swoop?
He turns, his eyes locking with mine, and I realize I don’t have to tell him anything. His expression goes to stone, his jaw clenching tight.
“Who told you?”
The numbness flips to fury I can barely contain. “Who told me doesn’t fucking matter, considering my goddamn husband kept it from me.”
His head jerks and his eyes grow soft and apologetic. “Baby, I didn’t keep it from you. I was waiting until—”
“Until what? Until you decided the time was right? Until you felt I could handle it?”
“Yes. You needed to concentrate on getting through the surgery.”
“Newsflash, Evin, I came through surgery with flying fucking colors yesterday morning. It’s been a complete day you could have shared.”
He steps forward, and I throw my hand out. “Stop right there. Don’t come near me.”
There’s a flash of pain in his gaze, but I can’t find it in me to care.
“I was watching out for you. Up through this morning, you were still dazed.”
“Dazed maybe, but not incoherent. You could have talked to me.”
“Fuck, Poppy, there hasn’t exactly been a good time to bring up that you may have been pregnant based on a random blood test.” His tone is barbed and sharp.
“I was pregnant, Evin. There is no ‘may’ about it. My body rejected our baby when I fell!”
“You can’t know. Even the doctors aren’t one-hundred percent sure. It’s all hypothetical based on blood drawn for a different reason.”
My back straightens, my body stringing tight. “Yes, BABY,” I sneer sarcastically. “I can know because the other morning everything was different. I begged for more because I physically needed it more than my next breath. You sucked my tit in your mouth, biting my nipple, and pain shot directly to my toes. It was exquisite and torture at the same time. I felt every inch of your dick swell until it stretched me more than ever. Then you demanded I come and it wouldn’t stop, the pleasure so powerful I blacked out. There was no explanation for what was happening. Now it makes sense.” I’m panting when my rant is over.
A flash of shock crosses his face before the primal beast clicks into place. In less than a second, he’s in my space, lifting me across his lap, and elevating my braced leg. Anger roars in my ears, but the unmistakable intent on his face sets my pulse racing for a different reason.
His hand goes to the back of my head, fingers fisting in my hair, and he slams his lips to mine. The taste of spearmint coats my mouth as his tongue sweeps through. The racing of my heart joins in rhythm to the roaring in my ears. I thread my fingers into the back of his hair, tugging hard and shifting so there’s no space between us.
I fight for control, meeting him stroke for stroke. My tongue tangles with his roughly, anger and resentment fueling me. As if he senses what’s happening, his fingers caress my scalp tenderly and he slows, giving in. The kiss turns greedy as I soak in the warmth of him pressed close, the scent of his cologne filling the air, the safety of being in his arms. I need this, need him.
All the anger turns to a slashing pain and something inside me snaps. My body convulses as the heartache erupts, and I cry into his mouth. He breaks away, tucking my face into his neck and holding me tighter.
“Let it out, baby. I’m here.” He kisses across my temple.
“She did this.”
“She won’t get away with it.”
His words don’t register as I cry for much more than the loss of my career. “Our baby, Evin. We made a baby and it’s gone because of her!”
“I know.” This time, his voice is scratchy and hoarse. A drop of wetness hits my cheek, and when I peer up, a sob wracks my body.
My beautiful Evin is staring at me with glassy eyes filled with misery and devastation. His unshakable strength has fractured.
“I hate her with everything I have!”
“I do too.” He lays his cheek to my forehead, cocooning me deeper into his protective hold.”
I clutch to him, crying until my throat is raw and body exhausted. He only moves enough to slide some tissue into my lap. Faintly, I hear a nurse come in and ask if I’m okay. Evin simply nods, giving me the quiet to recover. After however long, I finally find my voice. “It was the nurse who told me. She thought I knew about the blood results. She offered me a menstrual suppressant to help delay my period, considering the situation I’m in.”
“It should have come from me and I’m sorry it didn’t. But fuck, Poppy, the thought of you hurting worse killed me. It was a judgment call. I was protecting you from something we’d never know was true.”
“My instincts are telling me it was real.”
He stays quiet, but after a minute, his chest vibrates. I raise my head to find him full-out, grinning wide.
“What can you possibly find funny?”
“Baby, there’s nothing funny about this shitty situation. Once again, you shocked the hell out of me. Thought I knew most of your moods, but good to know when you get riled up, you unleash the mouth of a sailor.”
“I may have been a little haughty, but I was pissed.”
“Got that. If I wasn’t so stunned at your outburst and scared you’d launch yourself off the bed, there’d be a different reaction. Thinking about it now has my cock hard as a rock.”
“Oh my God.” Mortification sets in thinking about how loud and crass I was.
“Don’t be embarrassed. It’s hot as hell knowing you needed my dick more than your next breath.”
“Jeez, can we forget about that?”
“And the thing about biting your tit, the pleasure and pain… coming until you blacked out—can’t wait to reenact that, baby.”
“Evin,” I groan, burying my face back in his neck, “stop.”
“Not a chance. Me drilling you against the headboard is coming back to me hard and fast.”