“Do you want that?”
“My wants don’t factor in. This is about you and what will satisfy your personal goals.”
“You don’t think your opinion matters on where we live?”
His blank expression grips me in terror. “Are we living together?”
“I’ll travel back and forth. It’ll be like before.”
I try to pull my hand away, but he catches my wrist, holding it in place. “Poppy, this is all for you.”
“Are you trying to punish me?”
His head jerks, his eyebrows drawing together. “Punish you? Never. I’m trying to give you back your normalcy.”
“No.” I shake my head fiercely, squeezing my eyes to stop the blistering agony building inside. “There’s nothing normal about us living apart.”
“We did it before.”
“Yes, before, Evin!” My eyes pop open, panic creeping into my voice. “Before this happened and I knew what it was truly like to have the beauty we have together every day. What about Devin’s birthday? What about the birth of the babies? What about the holidays, decorating our home for the first time? Do you think I want to miss all those things to work-out with my Cirque crew? You think that will make me feel normal?”
“If this is what you choose, we’ll deal with the details.”
“There are no details to deal with because my answer is no. No way in hell am I giving up what we have.”
My nose, eyes, and throat sting, his face becoming blurry.
“Come here.”
I scoot and fall into him at once, attaching myself and holding back the tears. He doesn’t need to comfort me. “I love you. And I love that you’re protective, even if I pretend differently. I love that your first reaction today was concern for me.”
“I love you, too, baby.”
Baby. I’ve never wanted to hear that so badly in my life. After a few minutes, he shifts us, the muscles pressed against me twitching. Years of training tell me he’s over-exhausted them. Another reminder of my selfishness.
No matter what happens, I’m never fucking up like that again.
Chapter 35
Evin
“Want to unload whatever is bothering you?” All eyes are on me with Jackson’s inquiry.
“He’s been truculent since he arrived.”
“Truculent?” My eyebrow shoots up at Pierce’s choice of words.
“Foul, grumpy, surly,” he continues.
“I know what it means. I’m wondering why you’re pulling out the adult words. Didn’t know you spoke in advanced terminology.”
“You’re an ass.”
“It’s a little late to educate you now.” Miller joins the harassment.
“You’re an asshole, too. Darby convinced me to let that boy come over and study. It forced me to listen,” he grumbles.
“Meaning you hovered over them?”
“Damn right. They aren’t even in the same grade. Why do they need to study together?”
I grin, swigging my beer and enjoying this. Darby told me she swayed Peirce to let Maya’s ‘friend’ come over, but I haven’t heard his side of the story.
“I felt the same way when some arrogant, conceited ass Casanova waltzed into my living room eighteen years ago. This loser wasn’t in college but was helping my baby study?” Dad doesn’t disappoint, cutting right in.
Miller and Warren roar in enjoyment while Pierce scowls. “It’s not the same thing.”
“Whatever you say. I get to enjoy this more and more. Wait until Darby’s mini-me daughter hits the dating stage. Karma’s a bitch.”
Pierce bows up defensively, his face going to stone. “No one said anything about dating.”
“Now who’s being truculent?” I goad him.
“Shut up and don’t try to change the subject.”
“As fun as it is to rile him up, he’s right. Don’t change the subject. What’s on your mind? Did something happen with the Bindels?” Jackson’s question changes the mood instantly.
“Tasha is still in the wind. Nothing since the postcards she sent to Poppy.”
“Any chance she’s gotten bored and moved on?”
“My gut says no. The postcards took time. She went back far in their family history and taunted with the blank card of where she’ll go next. It’s all about mind tricks. That’s what worries me.”
“Your mom has made sure we’ll know if she shows in Charleston again.”
“But what does she want? Marco and his investigators paired with Scottie’s efforts have yet to uncover anything. Three months ago, she showed in Vegas with intentions to bring Poppy back in the family for Marco’s Presidential candidacy. Now that’s over. There’s no need for all this creeping around.”
“How’s Poppy feel?”
“She’s completely unconcerned and keeps insisting Tasha’s not a physical threat. It’s always been about money, power, status, and connections, which is why she operates with mental games. Poppy finds it comical that Tasha keeps failing. Her outlook is much brighter than mine.”
“Well, it seems her mental games are working on you.”
“Narcissists don’t like to lose and rarely admit defeat.”
“She’s not only a narcissist, she’s jealous and humiliated. Take it from me that is a dangerous combination.” Pierce’s remark is a reminder of what lengths a woman driven by jealousy will do.
“I’m not suggesting we slack off on awareness, but maybe we should all adopt a little of Poppy’s optimism,” Dad advises.
“That’s a good idea. The woman is a walking, talking ray of sunshine mixed with rainbows, even after what she’s been through.” Warren slaps me on the shoulder. “No one will let anything happen to her, Evin.”
My attention goes across the street where Poppy is driving a golf cart occupied with Maya, Cole, and Ryanne. The bright pink of her hat and the white of her jacket glow neon under the multi-colored lights decorating the cart. Even in the distance, you can hear their laughter.
“Gotta agree, she’s definitely sunshine and rainbows.” Jackson whistles low, his meaning clear.
His attempt at lightening the mood works, getting a few chuckles.
“Don’t make me regret inviting you.”
“Poppy invited me. I think she’s wising up.”
“I tried to tell him the best way to keep her hooked,” Pierce throws in. “He’s taking his time. It’s his fault if she leaves his ass.”
“He isn’t getting any younger, that’s for sure.” Dad joins in. “Annie’s driving me crazy.”
“Shut up.”
“Someone want to fill me in?” Jackson looks around the crowd of men.
“I have to agree with Edward. Poppy needs a baby.” Warren puts in his two cents.
“One thing at a time. She’s been off crutches for three days.”
“We all know she’s on the path of warp-speed recovery. Why wait?”
Pierce is right. Poppy may have recognized she was overzealous with Dr. Rexwell, but it didn’t change her mindset. She’s pushing herself over a hundred percent, only now she’s taking the time to appreciate the accomplishments. She recognizes when she’s been too aggressive in her rehab and admits it openly. I know she’s resolute on beating her original timeline and she’s scheduled to be cleared to drive soon. We’ve been testing her reflexes at the farm this week on the golf cart, and tonight she’s had no problems.