"All I really need to know is how you and Linden are"—Rob gestured to us—"how this came to be."
"My goodness," Diana muttered as she pushed to her feet. She grabbed the rice and scooped some onto Ash's plate, then Zelda's. She went around the table, filling plates and murmuring about her family's sudden shortage of manners.
"I've decided to step away from Washington," I said. "Linden is my new next-door neighbor."
"Isn't that adorable?" Magnolia squealed. "It's adorable."
"That actually is pretty adorable," Zelda said.
"Do you know you have a legit fan club?" Rob asked. "My wife is obviously the chairwoman but you should know there are a lot of people who respect the hell out of you."
"Well, that's very generous," I said, even though I doubted every word of it.
"I'm the treasurer," Carlo added. "I don't know what you're doing now, missy, but you have my vote."
"Oh, my. No, no," I said. "Some people are candidates, some people are behind the candidates. I'm behind the candidate. Rather, I used to be, before I was relieved of my responsibilities."
"That was the shittiest thing I've ever seen on the internet," Rob said. "And there're a lot of shitty things on the internet."
"Robert," Diana chastised.
"Sorry, sorry," he murmured.
"You're better off without them. I have zero clue how you lived through all that chaos but I am certain you're in a better place now," Magnolia said. "You know what? We need to go dress shopping soon."
I hadn't used any of my warm-affable-outgoing skills in more than a month and found myself frowning at her when I didn't follow this jump in the conversation. "What's that?"
"Dress shopping," she repeated with a wave toward Zelda. "We need dresses for the grand anniversary gala my parents are throwing, and you are joining us. Weren't we just saying how we need to get together and find something to wear, Zel?"
Zelda bobbed her head. "We were comparing schedules last night."
"We'll have lunch too. It will be so much fun. Please say yes. Please?"
From the corner of my eye, I saw Linden draw in a deep breath. He shifted his hand to the back of my neck, gave me a slight squeeze. I wasn't sure whether that was permission or warning. Either way, I hadn't spent time with women in too long and dining out for lunch was a far-off memory. "I'd love to."
"Now, we're finished with all of this talk," Diana said firmly. "We will eat and stop interrogating Jasper."
"I don't mind," I said, which was what you were supposed to say when you minded very much but didn't want anyone else to feel uncomfortable.
"You might not, dear, but I make the rules at this table," Diana replied.
Very well, then.
Linden leaned in again, his hand still on my nape and his beard barely tickling the spot below my ear. "You're a snake charmer."
"Something like that," I whispered back.
"I can't decide if I'm impressed"—he dropped his hand high on my thigh—"or scared."
"Be scared. Very, very scared," I said with a quiet laugh.
"You don't have to do this dress thing. I can get you out of it."
"You must not have been very impressed if you think I need you getting me out of anything." I covered his hand with mine. "No need to worry. I'll be quite all right with your sister and Zelda."
"I don't doubt it," he murmured. "Just because you can doesn't mean you should though. There's nothing wrong with letting me handle things."
There was much wrong with letting him handle things but that wasn't an argument I'd win while whispering at his mother's table. I nodded, saying, "It's nice of you to think that."
"Right now, I'm thinking about getting us the fuck out of here. Want to fake a headache?"
I shook my head. "Not on your life."
He breathed a soft growl against my jaw. "You're such a tough cookie."
"Then it's a good thing you love eating cookies as much as you do."
His grip on my thigh tightened. "Mmm. It is."
"If we can't talk about Linden's cult celebrity girlfriend," Magnolia said, "we should at least talk about baseball."
"I can agree to that," Ash said.
With a slight groan, Linden shifted away from me. "Right. We'll be so much more civilized talking baseball than we were politics. Makes sense."
Magnolia brushed several pieces of rice into her hand from where they had dropped to her belly, saying, "The next game is at home. Thursday. First pitch at five o'clock."
"Honey. Sweetheart. Love. Do you really think this is a good time to go to Fenway?" Rob asked her.
"It's the playoffs, Rob. I'm required to go," she replied.
"You're not. You're not required at all." He glanced to Ash and Linden for support but found none. It was awkward as hell to watch a couple nice-fight but at least I wasn't the center of attention anymore. I could enjoy Diana's delicious fish and rice, and drink my wine, and enjoy the bear paw resting an inch from my panties. "Would that even be comfortable for you?"
"Probably not," she said.
"It's a lot of walking," he continued. "And those seats."
"But it's the playoffs. The three of us haven't missed a playoff game at home in twenty years. We're not starting now just because I'm pregnant."
"You're in your third trimester with very energetic twins," he said. "Pregnant is an understatement, my love."
"Magnolia, listen to your husband," Diana said.
She stared down the table at her mother. "I beg your pardon?"
"I'm just saying, your husband knows what's best for you."
"Shall I go rip the Equal Rights Amendment Now sticker off your car? Or would you rather I wait until my husband gives me permission?" Magnolia asked. "What about the 'well-behaved women never make history' one? Should I grab that too?"
I took a sip of wine because I needed something to do with my mouth that wasn't laughing out loud. This family was hilarious. They were incredible. I didn't even know family could be like this. I didn't know people could belong to each other with so much love and humor and snark. I didn't know that was what family meant to some people.
I didn't know what I'd been missing.
Carlo blinked at his wife. "How many gummies have you had tonight?"
"Not nearly enough," Diana replied.
Rob blew out a breath and stared at Ash with can you believe this? eyes. Ash gave him the I can't help you here, man shrug. Linden smirked at both of them as he rubbed my inner thigh.
"So, Thursday it is," Magnolia said. "Does that work for everyone?"
Linden turned to me, asking, "Are you good with me going to a game on Thursday night? I'll be back late. Probably ten or eleven."
There was another beat of silence, similar to the first but without the same gravity. This one was curious and the proof of that lived in the six pairs of eyes trained on Linden right now.