At that my tears finally started to fall; I was so thrilled for her. I knew how much this meant to her. She and Allan had already talked about adopting children because they thought they wouldn’t be able to get pregnant on their own. I leaned over to hug her, making sure not to squish her stomach. “Congratulations. You’re going to be the best mom ever.”
She was crying happy tears. “I wish my mom was here to see this.”
“I know. I’m sorry she’s not. But for what it’s worth, your baby is going to have the world’s best aunt, and I’m going to love them with everything I have.”
And it was in that moment that I realized no matter how much things might change between me and Shelby, no matter what challenges and obstacles we were going to face, we would still get through them all together. Adding new people to love along the way.
In this case, a very tiny person.
And one oversize one. The person who made sure I was here for this, who did whatever he had to do to get me to my best friend because he knew how important it was to me.
I couldn’t deny it any longer. A rush of warmth washed over me, and I could feel my cheeks flush. I was in love with Noah Douglas. I knew it as clearly and as plainly as I’d ever known anything. I wanted him in my life now and forever.
I maybe even wanted to make tiny people with him.
And none of that terrified me.
Allan came back in the room, carrying his cell phone. “My mom’s on the phone. She’s excited. She wants to talk to you and apologize.”
Shelby’s eyes sparkled with happiness and I left them alone, glad that Satan’s Evilest Minion had finally come around at the prospect of being a grandmother. I found Noah in a small waiting room, a few doors down from where Shelby was. He was on his phone.
“I want you to find out who is the best oncologist in the state. No, it’s not for me. But this is important. Find out who that person is and get them on the phone.”
I put my hand on his arm. “Hang up.”
“Kyle, I’m going to call you back.” He studied my face. “What’s going on?”
“She’s not sick. She’s pregnant.”
His whole face lit up—you would have almost thought she was having his baby. “That’s fantastic!” He picked me up like it was nothing, swinging me around once.
I laughed, and when I felt my feet back on the floor, I told him, before I lost my nerve, “I need to talk to you. There’s something I have to say.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
He sensed the people watching us before I did. I was too busy trying to work up my courage. I needed to tell him the truth. About everything. “Come with me,” he said, leading me into an empty hospital room and closing the door.
Maybe if I told him the love thing first, the lie wouldn’t seem quite so bad. Now that the moment of truth was here, my nerves felt jangly and I shook my hands, trying to get some feeling back into them. My heartbeat was violent in my chest.
“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked, his concern evident in every line of his beautiful face.
“What’s a battle buddy?” I blurted out, my brain stepping in to create a diversion.
“In the army you’re assigned a partner to keep an eye on both in and out of combat. It just means I’ve got your back and nothing’s going to happen to you on my watch if I can help it.”
My heart melted at his words. “You did that tonight. You took care of me and got me exactly what I needed. You’re always doing that. Taking care of me.”
“You take care of me, too. In ways you don’t even realize,” he said, holding my hands in his.
Why was this so hard? It was so much more difficult than I’d thought it would be. Maybe I should find a way to ease into it. “Tonight . . . I can’t even tell you what this meant to me. You finding a stranger to drive me here to see my best friend. And I—I—”
I was such a coward. Such a coward.
But still I kept talking, trying to find the words I could actually say. “I don’t know how you feel about things and if you only want to be friends I understand, because those were the rules, right? Just friends? But at some point everything changed for me and I don’t know when that moment was, but I . . . I want more. I want to be in a relationship with you. I kind of feel like I have been in one and just didn’t register it.”
He didn’t say anything, so I just kept talking. “I thought I was happy with my life. I had my mom and my best friend and my business and I didn’t need or want anything else. I can’t believe how wrong I was, how I was missing you before I ever even met you. We click. You get me. Hanging out with you is my favorite thing. You’re so strong, smart, funny, kind, generous, talented, and a million other things that make you one of the best people I’ve ever met. You’re my person and I want you in my life. If you don’t, I understand, and this is a lot to spring on you and I’m sorry about that and if you want to stay friends I’ll do that, because you’re so important to me and—”
Noah squeezed my hands and said, “My turn. I want that, too. Have wanted it for a while.”
My heart soared at his words, sending happy, flappy flutters through my whole body. “You do? Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”
“Because you said no and I wanted to respect your feelings and your boundaries. I secretly hoped they would change, but if they hadn’t and you’d just ended things and walked away, I still always would have been glad that I’d met you. Even if I was nursing a broken heart.”
“A broken heart?” I repeated, those happiness bubbles still fizzing away inside me.
He nodded his head, like I was silly. “I’m in love with you, Juliet. How could I not be? You’re everything I never knew I always wanted. Sweet, brave, loyal, willing to fight for what you want, brilliant, hilarious, and, like you said, a million other things that make you the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. I’ve been into you since the first night we met and I fell in love with you a long time ago.”
“You love me?” Why was I repeating everything he was saying?
“Even more than I love Magnus.”
Wow. That was more than I’d expected.
But how could he love me? How could I ever be enough for him? My mom hadn’t been enough for my dad, and while I’d never thought I’d actually be in a relationship, now that I was, how could I expect someone like him to be faithful? Because while I didn’t have much experience, I was pretty sure cheating would be something I couldn’t get over.
“What is that look for?” he asked.
“What if you get bored of me?”
He laughed. “How could I ever get bored of you?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you’re constantly around the most beautiful, fascinating, and talented people in the world?”
Noah put his hands on the sides of my face. “There’s something Paul Newman said once when asked if he was tempted to cheat on his wife. To paraphrase, he said, ‘Why would I go out for hamburger when I have steak at home?’”
My heart lifted at his words. “But hamburgers are really good, too.”
“Not as good as steak,” he said definitively, as if there were no further discussion to be had. “I’d never cheat on you.”