His chuckle sent a puff of warm breath whispering across her forehead.
She peeked up at him. The light blue sky with its cotton ball clouds was the perfect frame for his dark hair and bronze skin. His prickly scruff gave him a roguish appeal, like he needed more help in the appeal department anyway. The eyes she knew almost as well as her own stared intently down at her, awareness heating their depths.
She wanted to give in to her lustful thoughts. She wanted to push him away before she got hurt again. She wanted to drag him inside and have wild, crazy makeup sex. Bueno, as wild as a man with a fractured tibia shaft could safely have, but she didn’t mind being inventive.
And then . . . then, what?
The question whispered from the logical side of her brain. The one wisely working to shut down the wanton parts of her body screaming for his attention.
And then what?
As if he somehow saw the inner battle she fought reflected on her face, Alejandro splayed a hand on the doorframe, then straightened his elbow, lifting his weight off her.
Anamaría shifted out from under him, instantly missing his warmth. Struggling with how to squash the swarm of desire building inside her for this man whose dispute with his father, and his own wanderlust, compelled him to leave again.
Dios mío, what was she doing bringing him here? To her home. The one place on the island that didn’t have his mark. The one place devoid of any memories of them together.
Once he walked through this door, that would no longer be true. She’d have nowhere to go that didn’t remind her of him.
“Sorry about that,” he mumbled, giving her smattering of flower pots the stink eye. “What’s with all these plants, anyway? You opening up a garden shop as a second side hustle or something?”
“Not funny,” she answered, crouching down to pick up her key ring.
She rose and thumbed through her keys in search of the one for her house, her stomach clenched with unease. Her hand trembled as she slid the key in the lock. Of course, the temperamental thing stuck. She’d been meaning to spray a little WD-40 in the keyhole but kept putting the chore off for later. Sucking her teeth with irritation, she grabbed the knob with her left hand, jiggled the key with her right, bending over to get a better look.
“Here, let me try.” Alejandro stepped closer and his hip bumped her butt.
She jerked to a stand as if he’d prodded her with a hot poker.
“You okay?” he asked.
Her heart pounding, she spun around to face him. “You really want to know?”
“Wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”
His confused frown left her wondering if she might be the only person standing here with one foot stuck in the past and the other in the present.
Overhead, a military jet from the nearby Boca Chica naval air base roared by, leaving a wispy white contrail across the blue sky. She watched it dissipate, wishing her feelings for him would fade away so easily. Hurt by the thought that his for her actually had.
The mix of desire and despair overwhelmed her and she let her eyes drift closed, blocking out his ruggedly handsome face.
“Hey, what’s going on? Talk to me.” Alejandro’s fingers lightly caressed her jawline, then softly tucked loose strands of hair behind her ear.
The concern in his voice paired with the intimacy of his touch, reached inside her soul to push her over the edge of reason.
“Coño, I’m frustrated! Okay?”
He blinked several times, clearly dumbfounded by her outburst.
She huffed her annoyance and swatted his chest. “I’m frustrated with you for being so hardheaded. With your dad for being such a hard-ass. And with myself for still wanting you so damn badly I can’t even unlock my fucking door.”
Her words were like a grenade dropped on the porch floor. Shocking them both. Several tense seconds ticked by. His jaw muscles tightened, his piercing eyes locked on hers. She licked her bottom lip nervously, then tugged it between her teeth to avoid spewing another embarrassing revelation. His hungry gaze dropped to her mouth and all she could think about was her all-consuming need to feel his lips. On hers. Now.
“Ale,” she whispered, his name more a longing-filled sigh that lit the fuse of their desire.
His crutches clattered to the floor as he pulled her against him. His firm lips covered hers, and she willingly opened for him, wanting, needing, to taste him.
His tongue brushed hers, slow and languid, stroking and tangling, and she moaned with pleasure. He tasted like sin and sweetness with a hint of the lime he’d squeezed in his water at the restaurant.
He cupped her face, angling her head to deepen the kiss. Her hands trailed down his chest, exploring the changes in his physique, desire building at her core. Reaching his waist, her fingers hooked on his belt loops, tugging their lower bodies flush. Desperate to satisfy this need to be one with him again.
His lips broke from hers to trail a line of heated kisses up her jaw. He nibbled on her earlobe, sucking it into his mouth, then blowing a soft breath in her ear. His hands spanned her rib cage, his thumbs gently grazing the underside of her breasts. Lust shot through her, making her clit throb for his touch, and she arched backward, bumping her head on the door. Her pelvis thrust against him, her body seeking his, reveling in the hard length of his erection.
A car door slammed in the parking lot below.
Alejandro pressed his forehead to hers, their heavy breaths mingling in the small space between.
“Unless we wanna put on a show for your neighbors, we should get inside.” He rocked his pelvis against hers imitating the act they both craved. His thumbs swept over the underside of her breasts again and her nipples pebbled, anxious for his attention.
The sound of female voices trickled through Anamaría’s lust-filled brain. The fact that she and Alejandro stood on her front porch, their intimacy in full view of anyone on the street or parking lot, slowly registered. Along with the voice of sanity determined to squelch her fun.
Letting him inside would mean giving in to her craving for him. While also knowing her heart would have to let him go, eventually.
Could she do that?
“Hey, it’s okay if we put on the brakes.” Alejandro rubbed his knuckle across her chin, circling the little mole below the right side of her mouth. The one he used to like to—he dipped down and pressed a chaste kiss on her mole. The sweetness of his move, the reminder of how incredible he used to make her feel . . . how incredible he had made her feel right now . . . tipped her over the edge.
“We can back off,” he continued. “Stay . . . I don’t know . . . whatever we are. Friends. If that’s what you want.”
Friends.
It was better than the nothing they’d had for almost twelve years.
Was that enough? Is that all she wanted?
They had parted terribly as kids years ago. Neither able nor ready to admit the fact that forever wasn’t for them.
Now they were adults. Could they find a better way?
Enjoy being together during whatever time they had. Saying good-bye without the heartache and acrimony.
No more what-ifs. No more what might have beens.
Only right here. Right now. Eyes wide open. Grabbing what they desired and deserved.
Anamaría slid her hand down his forearm to hook their fingers. “I don’t want to put the brakes on.”
He stared at their joined hands for several breath-stealing seconds before he glanced up at her, hope swimming in his eyes as he studied her.