Clarissa appeared nervous. Ned’s first thought was fear that she was about to publicly denounce him and Gemma. He wished he was standing beside his beloved. Their gazes met across the room. She appeared concerned and yet resigned. He understood. He nodded. Whatever came, they would meet it head-on.
“I have something to say,” Clarissa repeated.
“Then say it,” William Dawson said. “We want a game in before it rains.” He was shushed by his betters.
“This won’t take long,” Clarissa answered him. She looked around the room. Her eyes settled on Squire Nelson and his wife. “I’ll say I’m sorry before I start. I know my news may not be received well.”
“Clarissa—” Ned started. She was confirming his fears.
She ignored him, announcing in ringing tones, “I call off my betrothal to Mr. Thurlowe.”
That stopped him. It stopped everyone. The whole room seemed to freeze, even the Dawson brothers.
Seeing that she had, at last, commanded everyone’s attention, Clarissa said to Ned, “Sir, you paid me a great honor. However, I find I must release you from your promise. I do not wish to marry you.” With that, she stepped down from the chair and walked through the stunned crowd and out the door.
Ned was the first to recover. He went after her.
Clarissa stood not far from the front door beneath the shade of a sheltering tree. As he approached, she said, “Did I catch you by surprise?”
“You caught us all by surprise.” He didn’t know what he expected but it was not seeing her stand so calmly and self-possessed.
“Yes, myself, too.” She waited until he reached her before explaining, “I wasn’t going to do that. You have made me very angry, Ned. And you’ve hurt me.”
“You have the right to those feelings. I am completely at fault.”
“I’ve had many thoughts since last night. Some far from charitable. My plan was to make you honor your promise. I’m scared, Ned. I don’t know what will become of me now.”
“First, you will have Gemma and me. We will help you in any way possible.”
“Thank you,” she said, the words barely spoken. She looked down. “My hands are shaking.”
“No one in there could tell.”
She nodded and then crossed her arms as if she was cold.
He had to ask. “What changed your mind? Why did you release me?”
“You told your lecturer that women have fine minds. You didn’t think that way before. There were times I sensed you didn’t really like women.”
“I wasn’t close to any.”
“You were close to me.”
What could he say? He’d never given her the opportunity to be anything to him other than an obligation. “I’m sorry.”
She nodded before admitting, “I am, too. I actually thought you were quite admirable when you told him what you thought.” Her shoulders straightened. “Very well. I’m going back in there. I needed a moment for the initial shock to wear off. This won’t be easy. I know the Nelsons are rather anxious to unburden themselves of me—”
“Clarissa,” he started, but she shook her head as if not wanting his sympathy.
“I’ll talk to the dowager and Mrs. Warbler and . . . we’ll see. There will be a place for me somewhere. I’ll find my way.”
“Let me come with you to explain—”
“No.” She studied him a moment and then said, “I must do this myself, Ned. I’m tired of leaning on others to guide me. The time has come for me to make my own decisions and stand by them.”
“I will always be here for you, Clarissa.”
She gave him a sad smile. “This isn’t your fault, Ned. Don’t blame yourself. You see, I’ve come to realize I want to marry someone who truly wishes to kiss me. I’m done settling for anything less.” On those words, she walked back to The Garland.
And that is when he noticed Gemma. She’d come around the back of the building and had been watching them. She approached. “What happened? How is she?”
“She knows I love you. I told her last night. She knows I can’t live without you. She’s also decided that she deserves something more than what I offer. She’s right.”
“Still, I worry.”
“And how does that help her? She has her own life to live and I pray she finds a love as strong as the one I feel for you.” On those words he bent down on one knee. “She freed me, Gemma, so that I can offer my heart, my name, all of me, to you. Please, say you will be my wife. I can’t imagine my life without you.”
“Ned—”
“I know. I understand. We are caretakers. We worry about others. It is our lot in life . . . but now, this is about our happiness. Clarissa has given us a gift, Gemma. Please, say you will have me.”
Her answer was to throw herself into his arms, and he was never going to let her go.
So it was that Gemma and Ned stood before the Reverend Summerall as soon as the banns were announced. He couldn’t wait to make Gemma his wife.
And they were not alone when they celebrated. The matrons understood they couldn’t stand in the way of love.
The wedding breakfast was held at The Garland and it rivaled any that had ever come before it. No one was left out. Marsden and the Balfours, including baby Anne, were there. The matrons ruled a corner of the room, and Clarissa, who had agreed to take a position as a lady’s companion in London, sat among them. She would be leaving the next day so the party was also a farewell to her.
“I’m nervous,” Clarissa had confided once she’d accepted the position. “They tell me Mrs. Emsdale is of a cranky nature. However, the pay is very good and she can’t be worse than Jane Nelson when she can’t have her way.”
“Even if it doesn’t work out, we’ll be here for you,” Gemma had promised.
“And we’ll keep an ear cocked for a position closer to home,” Ned had added.
“I appreciate that. I’ve not known anyplace else other than Maidenshop.”
“Then it will be an adventure,” Gemma had said.
Clarissa had smiled bravely at that and then murmured, “At least it will free me of that obnoxious Lord Marsden. If the man accuses me of becoming a matron one more time, I shall not be responsible for my actions.”
Ned had said, “That should keep Mars on his best behavior,” and the three of them had laughed because they knew the earl feared no one in Maidenshop.
Of course, the members of the Logical Men’s Society were at the breakfast. They celebrated harder than most, and their good wishes seemed to be heartfelt.
However, the truth was, Ned was happily no longer a member of the Logical Men’s Society, something he had never imagined conceivable. He’d once believed they were his only family. Now, with Gemma, he had a world of new possibilities.
He also discovered that the word wife was one of the sweetest in the English language.
And as he gathered her up in his arms after, finally enjoying her in a proper bed, he watched her sleep, marveling that love—a word he had considered a myth—had changed his life completely.
Never again would he be alone . . . not with Gemma by his side.