I blinked, then I blinked some more, and Shiloh being smart figured out my answer without my need to verbalize just how un-fucking-comfortable it was.
“Okay, stupid question. Of course, having something big and—”
“You’re killing me,” I groaned and let my head fall back onto the back of the couch.
“Sorry, sorry, you said special friends can talk about erections. I was curious. I don’t have a dick, I wouldn’t know what it feels like to have something hard in my pants. I’d assume it hurts but what do I know? Maybe it’s like my boobs being squished in a sports bra—”
“Shiloh, baby, please for the love of all things holy do not talk to me about your boobs. Not in a bra of any kind. Or out of a bra. Your tits are off-limits while my cock is literally hard enough to pound nails and at this very moment trying to break free.”
“Well, that’s a shame,” she mumbled.
“Dare I ask what’s a shame?”
“Well, for starters that you don’t want to hear about my boobs. I took you as a boob-man. But the real shame is that you’re sitting way over there and I’m sitting way over here and you have a hard-on—”
I could take no more. I shifted, moving her leg off the erection she was hellbent on discussing, and whipped my head to the side and narrowed my eyes.
“In two seconds the special friends we are right now is gonna take on a whole new meaning of special. The kind that includes my hands and mouth on you. The kind that includes you getting intimately acquainted with my dick.”
Shiloh wiggled and my gaze dropped to find her squeezing her thighs together. Fucking hell. I greedily took in her bare skin, the way she was clenching her legs together, and stopped to focus on where her shorts were bunched. She moved again and I swear to Christ she was trying to find friction. Seeing that, I remembered her drunkenly telling me she couldn’t get herself off so she’d stopped trying.
She was not ready for me to take her where I wanted. We needed time for her to adjust and come to terms with a lot of shit that was going down in her life. I knew Shiloh well enough to know that if I fucked her now, she’d use it as a way to close off. In her mind, I’d be what she said she wanted—a fuck buddy—and I’d never move her past it. I intended to be more. I wanted all of her, so sex was off the table.
“Look at me, Shiloh.”
Her eyes slowly came open and fuck me, she looked lust-drunk.
“Do you trust me?”
She hesitated and I was reminded yet again how painful it was going to be to break down her walls.
“Let me ask a different way. Do you know I would never hurt you?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. Do you know I’d never do anything to embarrass you or make you uncomfortable?”
“Yes.”
“Then tonight I want you to trust me.”
Her eyes flared and her legs rubbed together.
“Luke—”
I cut her off by gently removing her legs from my lap and standing up. And since we were being open and she’d felt the evidence I didn’t attempt to hide my hard-on. Not that I could but I made no move to turn away when I pulled her off of the couch. When she was on her feet I grabbed her hand, twined our fingers together, brought them to mouth level, and kissed the back of her hand.
“You can trust me. I swear it, Shiloh, just like the other night, you’re safe with me.”
She nodded and before I could change my mind I led us through her house, down the hall, into her bedroom, but didn’t stop until we were in her bathroom. I let her hand go to turn the taps on, waited until the water was warm, then watched as the tub began to fill.
“Luke?”
I stepped behind her, fitted my front to her back, put my hands on her hips, and lowered my mouth to her ear.
“Trust me.” She nodded and my hands slipped up and caught the hem of her shirt. I slowly pulled it up, gritting my teeth as my knuckles brushed the side of her breasts. Calling up all my willpower, I didn’t linger. This was not about me, it was all about Shiloh. What I could give her without touching her. I tossed her tank aside and brushed my lips against her bare shoulder as I undid her bra. Shiloh tipped her shoulders forward and the bra slid to the floor.
I went to my knees behind her, hooked my fingers into her shorts and panties, and tugged them down her legs. They pooled around her ankles. I closed my eyes to ward off the surge of desire. But I didn’t stop myself from inhaling.
“You smell so fucking good, Shiloh. One day I’m gonna be right here on my knees but you’ll be bent over your bed and I’m gonna eat you just like this. My hands full of your ass and my tongue in your pussy.”
Shiloh moaned and reached back. Her fingernails scraped my scalp and she tilted her ass back in a nonverbal plea to do what I promised right then.
That couldn’t happen.
I kissed her thigh, her hip, the small of her back, and as I reluctantly stood I let my mouth run up her spine.
“Please touch me,” she whispered.
“Trust me.”
She groaned when I pressed close again. There was nowhere I could touch that was safe. Shiloh was fully nude standing in front of me trembling, needy, the smell of her arousal still fresh in my mind.
“Luke—”
“Trust me, baby, I’m gonna take care of you.”
“I trust you. But I need you to touch me.”
Christ, that felt good. So good, my chest burned and my cock twitched.
I pushed aside the emotions, my selfish need, and locked onto my control. One day I’d have her—all of her. But for now, I could do something with her she couldn’t do by herself. I could offer her relief without jeopardizing my end game.
I stepped back and my gaze dropped to her ass. So goddamn perfect I wanted to sink my teeth into the flesh while I fucked her, and since that would be physically impossible I’d settle on two handfuls of fine ass holding her steady as I drilled into her from behind.
Do not touch.
Don’t fucking touch.
Once I’d silently chanted the mantra a few more times I swiftly undressed. I hit the danger zone—both of us naked. Both of us turned on. Both of us in desperate need but only one of us was going to find what they needed.
I shuffled Shiloh forward, reached around her, turned off the taps, and ordered, “Step in.”
On shaky legs, she did as I asked and craned her neck to look at me. I didn’t miss the way her eyes freely roamed, the way her pastel irises had darkened, and when her eyes dropped to my hard-on I didn’t miss the swift inhale followed by a mew. Without thought, I fisted my cock and gave it a long hard tug before I stepped into the tub behind her.
Seconds later I was in the seventh circle of hell.
Pure fucking torture.
My shoulders were resting on the back of the tub, legs spread, knees bent toward the ceiling, and Shiloh was settled with her back on my chest, my cock pressed against her ass, and her hands on my shins.
“Please.”
One word conveyed a painful hunger, one I understood. One that was coursing through my body making my cock ache in a way I’d never felt before.
I dropped my chin, kissed the side of her jaw, and told her what I wanted.
“Put your hand between your legs.”
Immediately she stiffened.
“Luke—”